[13x07] March 3rd, 2008

[Austere]

Some bits I liked, most bits were boring.

The shootout was OK but I don't think Vicki is hard enough on bad cars. That Vauxhall looked to be shockingly bad but she was pretty soft on it IMO. It sounded awful, understeered everywhere, wasn't fast around a track and didn't look to be any fun to drive... In my book that's just an absolute failure. I would have been *scathing* if I reviewed that piece of shit. Imagine a shot of me shoving it into a ditch and then pissing on it and you've got the idea.

The diesel Polo thing with Toms wife was as boring as I guessed it would be back when they first mentioned it weeks ago.
Fuel economy has more to do with driving style, vehicle condition, load, roads and weather than the design of the car its self. Obviously if you have a lead foot and three kids and luggage and you're wearing a heavy winter jacket the car will use more fuel. Anyway, only poor people care that much about economy and the only good thing about poor people is when you go around poking them in the eye for kicks.

The celebrity segment was quite boring. I like off-roading but that track didn't seem very advanced to me. Maybe it just didn't come across very well on TV but that looked pretty tame to me. Other than that guys ears - which had extensive cauliflowering - there wasn't much in that segment...

The used car segment was cool. Johnny does that segment well.

The electric Smart test was also cool. The tests she did were pretty pointless, really. I mean, she could have just quoted the acceleration times rather than actually doing a practical test and the slalom was a foregone conclusion after that... The test to see which one would go further was good tho.

The Volvo test sucked out loud. The segment had been padded way, way out with a lot of shots of ice and facts about the arctic circle and the car is dead-boring. I also doubt that any of the people who buy these things will take them off-road. I also doubt that the ability to climb a modest hill (while you have studded ice tyres on the car) is enough to claim that it's a proper off-roader anyway. Did you see what he calls "fairly extreme off-road driving"?
I can't believe he actually pointed out that stupid device that detects heartbeats within the cabin and then didn't proceed to push the car into a ditch and piss on it.
It's an overpriced, gimmicky car for wankers and that was a rubbish review.


The Lexus review was cool but again I felt like they weren't hard enough on it because it looked downright sloppy on the track. I suppose if it's OK on the road then that's all that matters because it's not really a track car but still... If it beeped at me like that every time I changed gear I'd be pretty damned annoyed and it would have affected my overall opinion of the car more than it did for Tiff.

That was it!?! Well in that case I thought it sucked this week.

[awdrifter]

The IS-F would be no match for the M3 on the track I think. I think it's too tail happy for a fast lap, if only they could lap those cars at Anglesea (like TG lap most of the cars on their test track) so we can get a general idea of how fast the car is when compared to it's rivals.

[teeb]

Originally Posted by Flynn

Chear, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they did this on all hot laps, it's not just Fifth Gear though, the Top Gear tests are an absolute joke as well; in that they are completely inaccurate and conclusive of nothing. You cannot assess the true speed of a car with a human being driving it.

The point of the shootouts is to compare two similar cars. So if there was a man in the back (say, a sound recordist or something), then as long as he was in the car for both the hot laps in both the cars, then the results are still somewhat relevant.

[DarkReaper]

Did you notice hw they didn't show the face of Tom's wife with her glasses on?
Get a hint women and wear some less nerdy glasses.

[Holiace]

Originally Posted by bitcore

... Did anyone notice.... right at the beginning...



OBVIOUS boobie peek...

HHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Damn, even her coworkers can't get enough.

[jpmfan]

havent finished watching the episode yet, but just noticed how they completly screwed up with the celeb bit. England didnt loose to Australia in last year's world cup. It was South Africa

[Cobol74]

8 out of 10 for me. A surprise actually, I knew I would like the shoot out but I wondered about the XC70, Tom made it interesting! Hmmm about that Lexus, not sure, review was better than OK, usual Tiff standard - tyres smoking etc. The car though, sort of makes me unsettled in some strange organic way - don't know why.

[Jimi Hendrix]

I'm watching the IS-F review again and that beep is really annoying, it's a pity because the engine sounds great.

[Orange1984]

An ok episode just now i usualy skip things, the shoot out was good, another win for ford

[wahaha]

Reason for the low MPG of the polo is

A. They're driving TOO FAST. Everyone SHOULD know 55 FIFTY FREAKING FIVE is the fastest speed they test these cars at to get the highest MPG figures. That's why the EPA ratings on window stickers is F'ed up and people never get it. Because they're driving at goddamn 80-90 mph on the freeway.

B. IT'S COLD OUT; Air temp and weather also play a role in engine efficiency.

Same effect oxygenated "winter blend" gas has in lowering MPG.

[bos78]

I could have done without Tom and his wife in the Polo and the rugby guy. I don't like celeb segments, so I usually just skip over them. The part that I found interesting about the electric smart test is that how she showed its actually cheaper to buy the electricity than the gas. Thats not something they usually go into when they test electric cars, and I usually wonder about that.

As for the shoot out. I'm surprised that cars that size with that much power aren't a little faster. They must be pretty heavy.

[Handonam]

ah,

i usualy skip the 'it's new but is it any good' segments, haaha

[pandaP2]

One more thing about Tom; He looked gross in that swimming pool...

[ascari_2]

Originally Posted by awdrifter

Lexus IS-F, great review. I can see what Tiff is saying about that annoying gearbox though, but I guess it's because it's from the LS600h also, it's designed to be a luxury gearbox, so it can't really shift fast enough, so it just beep at you. If they put the IS250's manual box in there, that car would've been perfect. And from another review (I think it's Autoweek) that I've read, I though the stability control couldn't be completely turned off (at least in the USDM car), I wonder if they also have a secret turn off sequence like the MB GL that they tested.

The gearbox on the LS-F shifts extremely fast. It's considerably reworked from the LS600h. I've actually been inside the LF-S as it was ran through the gears on the dyno.

[LarsDK]

Originally Posted by ascari_2

The gearbox on the LS-F shifts extremely fast. It's considerably reworked from the LS600h. I've actually been inside the LF-S as it was ran through the gears on the dyno.

That is fast ?

From Gear 1 to 8

1 / 10 / 20 or ? seconds

[ascari_2]

Originally Posted by LarsDK

That is fast ?

From Gear 1 to 8

1 / 10 / 20 or ? seconds

Who measures how long is takes to go through 8 gears. You measure the time between gear shifts. Or are you talking about going from 0mph to top of 8th?

[YicklePigeon]

This is the first episode of Fifth Gear I've ever watched, mainly for the XC70 review as other reviews I've read in the past have derided the vehicle as not being a true off-roader (with me arguing/shouting at the monitor that it's not supposed to be!).

My review starts with the very beginning - the intro itself...do the presenters have to be so corny? I felt like saying "yes yes yes...get on with it!", thankfully however it was quite short and now, I skip to the first car review of the show.

Like others here, I too feel the Vauxhall Corsa SRi vs the Ford Fiesta ST shoot out was quite weak, I found the segment to be too long and if I'm honest, I'd have blown both of them up at the end and said "if you want a small car, just get the Suzuki Swift Sport - job done!". I would also have offered the burnt remnants of the Ford Fiesta ST as that weeks prize.

I liked the "It's new - but is it any good?" segment, I found the MPV review quite interesting and informative and should I ever have children and be in a position to buy one, I'll just jump in front of an oncoming bus instead!

Moving on then, the VW Polo Bluemotion test, the MPG was predictable (that it would fall far shorter) but the way it was driven...the word "aggressive" springs instantly to mind. And again with the added weight etc, I tend to lean towards VW on this one, keeping in mind Top Gear's 400 mile London->Edinburgh and back trip.

However, the little clips at the beginning with Tom and the little cheeky chappy of his was quite amusing! As it was intended I'm sure, but still and did anyone notice at the end of the review when the VW pulled up to the camera, I thought "ooh there's a tractor coming!" when I heard it's engine idling.

The celebrity segment I just skipped, couldn't manage it.

I liked the Nissan Figaro segment, good information and should I ever want to buy one, I'll be well prepared. Moving on to the Smart cars, it was mildly interesting...and it was interesting enough that I watched it all the way through and I appreciated Vicki's conclusion!

The Volvo XC70 review is very comprehensive and as much as I like the XC70, I do feel the review could have been tightened up. Still, at least Fifth Gear actually tested the XC70 properly, which is more than what I can say Clarkson did on TG way back in the day when he was testing the S60 R as I wasn't interested in his opinion that he didn't feel like going fast in it, he should have done anyway.

I skipped the Lexus part too as I just couldn't be bothered to watch anymore. In summary, I would like Fifth Gear comprehensiveness with Top Gear's watchability and humour, the selection of cars in Fifth Gear are much better and far more varied than TG has been for a while (with FG having small hatchbacks, older cars, big 4x4 estate, MPVs and the "mad" Lexus in one episode whereas TG...super cars, super cars, the Chevy Lacetti and Suzuki Liana don't really count as when they're used they're not used as a review, occasionally older cars (or rather older super cars)).

As it stands, as a first time watcher of Fifth Gear, my rating:-

Pros: Vast selection of cars, comprehensive reviews with a touch of humour
Cons: Humour is mistimed in parts, reviews/tests do feel a tad long if not slightly padded (like it was thought as a good idea at the time but didn't execute well at all).
Rating: 7/10.
Final words on the review: It's car reviewing Jim, but not as we know it!