Killing Your Heart with Punisher Bass (56k go order pizza)

[Gman333-X-ferrari]

Originally Posted by KaJuN

I can understand that...I'd be much more interested in a woman if she started talking about how much she loves to mow the lawn.

Man, that was lame.

[thedguy]

Oh no, the man with no taste is now offering up cooking recipes?

Show us the good stuff, o'master of the BBQ


OT Kansas sucks. Sorry Tigger, but it's true, at least a long I70.

[Twerp128]

Originally Posted by Punisher Bass

I've seen brown eggs at the story on ocasion, but they are typically a light brown, nothing as dark as up above. I can only guess that there's different species of chicken laying our eggs. I'd say a 99.99% of people here only buy the standard white Grade A egg because that's just about all that's for sale for the most part.

Yep, different color chickens lay different color eggs. And here in America brown eggs go for about twice the cost of white eggs, I believe mostly because the health food industry wants you to believe they are healthier when they are in all reality just as nutritional as the white eggs.

[tigger]

Originally Posted by thedguy

OT Kansas sucks. Sorry Tigger, but it's true, at least a long I70.

Haha, no apologies necessary. There is nothing on I70, and it only gets emptier the further west you have to go. I hope you didn't have to drive all the way across the state on it; the state highways are so much more entertaining.

The state may be almost completely empty, but if you like beef, we've got a lot of it. You could probably almost compare Kansas' cattle/people ratio to New Zealand's sheep/people ratio .

[thedguy]

Originally Posted by tigger

Haha, no apologies necessary. There is nothing on I70, and it only gets emptier the further west you have to go. I hope you didn't have to drive all the way across the state on it; the state highways are so much more entertaining.

The state may be almost completely empty, but if you like beef, we've got a lot of it. You could probably almost compare Kansas' cattle/people ratio to New Zealand's sheep/people ratio .

I drove all the way to denver on I70

[British_Rover]

Originally Posted by Punisher Bass

I'd put all three of them in the group above, and they make bad music ontop of it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... I can see some people not liking Marley and maybe having something against McCartney in general even if the Beatles are great but how can anyone not like Dylan?

Originally Posted by LeMans GTR

But Natalie Portman is a veggie..

Vegetarian women taste better.

Originally Posted by Punisher Bass

I've seen brown eggs at the story on ocasion, but they are typically a light brown, nothing as dark as up above. I can only guess that there's different species of chicken laying our eggs. I'd say a 99.99% of people here only buy the standard white Grade A egg because that's just about all that's for sale for the most part.

I am not a big fan of eggs in general but they are fine in small doses. What a Chicken eats influences the color of their eggs and the type of chicken changes the color of the shell too. Brown eggs are supposed to be better for you then plain white eggs.

[Speedtouch]

Great looking food! Mmmmm.

Originally Posted by Silverstar

/runs upstairs to make some chops

Wait, what? You must have one of those upside down houses!

[jayhawk]

Originally Posted by Speedtouch

Wait, what? You must have one of those upside down houses!

We all do here in America.
And we wear hats on our feet, and hamburgers eat people!

Oh wait, that's the island of Rand McNally.

[Punisher Bass]

Maybe he lives in his parents basement?

And I fucking HATE the beatles, I don't care if 11 billion people love and worship them, I've always thought they had no talent and made shitty music. Same goes for Dylan.

[KaJuN]

I want to see Punisher Bass make a meal with fish. Preferably a large-mouth variety found in rivers.

Remember kids, subtlety is everything.

[British_Rover]

Originally Posted by Punisher Bass

Maybe he lives in his parents basement?

And I fucking HATE the beatles, I don't care if 11 billion people love and worship them, I've always thought they had no talent and made shitty music. Same goes for Dylan.

I just don't know what to say...

Somewhere in your life things went very, very wrong.

[Punisher Bass]

Originally Posted by KaJuN

I want to see Punisher Bass make a meal with fish. Preferably a large-mouth variety found in rivers.

Remember kids, subtlety is everything.

Originally Posted by British_Rover

I just don't know what to say...

Somewhere in your life things went very, very wrong.

I can make some catfish, shrimp, and cheese biscuits (those things you get at Red Lobster).

Nothing went wrong, I just fucking HATE the beatles. You try having to listen to their shit non stop for 4 years and see how well you come out of it. If mark chapman had aimed just 6 inches to the left after plugging lennon, he'd be a fucking hero to me.

What will it take to reunite the beatles? 2 bullets.

[Punisher Bass]

Coming soon, the Killing Your Heart With Punisher Bass Big Ass BBQ Special.

With it being Memorial Day for us Americans, it's the perfect excuse for us to drink alcohol and char some mammal flesh. I will be teaching you ins and outs of making propper BBQ and the difference between BBQing and Grilling. Expect teriyaki chicken, ribs, burgers, and hotdogs. So make like Al Bundy and get ready for the BIG ASS BBQ SPECIAL.

+ YouTube Video

That is if the weather holds out.

[tigger]

Originally Posted by thedguy

I drove all the way to denver on I70

Yikes man, I generally take 24 through Kansas. Takes a little longer, but at least theres some interesting stuff to see. Old junkyards, good restaurants, etc etc.

Originally Posted by Punisher Bass

Coming soon, the Killing Your Heart With Punisher Bass Big Ass BBQ Special.

Looking forward too it. A few friends and I did a little grilling yesterday, made some burgers, hot dogs and roasted some corn.

[argatoga]

Originally Posted by Twerp128

Yep, different color chickens lay different color eggs. And here in America brown eggs go for about twice the cost of white eggs, I believe mostly because the health food industry wants you to believe they are healthier when they are in all reality just as nutritional as the white eggs.

Am I the only one who saw visions of green and purple chickens after reading this?

Originally Posted by Punisher Bass

Nothing went wrong, I just fucking HATE the beatles. You try having to listen to their shit non stop for 4 years and see how well you come out of it. If mark chapman had aimed just 6 inches to the left after plugging lennon, he'd be a fucking hero to me.

What will it take to reunite the beatles? 2 bullets.

I am not sure if you meant that to be funny or not but I found the sheer and blatant anger of it to be hilarious. +rep from me.

[Punisher Bass]

Well here is the first part of the BIG ASS BBQ SPECIAL. Thankfully the weather did indeed hold out and I was able to go about things without getting poured on.

First, you are going to need one of these.



Say hello to The Mighty Grill Destruction. Now for those of you who hate gas, blow me. Charcoal and gas each have their pros and cons of which I won't go into here. Gas with a smoker box is my weapon of choice, if you want to dick around charcoal then be my guest. It's not the tools that make the food, it's the cook.

Next you will need plenty of this.



It doesn't matter what brand. Again, for those that poo poo Budweiser, blow me. I was born and raised here in the St Louis area (which is the home of Budweiser) so it's in my DNA to drink it. If you drink heineken or foster's then stop reading right now and put your head down on the desk for 10 minutes of quiet time.

I also suggest you have a steady supply of good music to groove to while you celebrate the reason god gave you incisors. I had ZZ Top and Eric Clapton keeping me company, even my neighbors enjoyed it.

Now onto buisness. First we have teriyaki chicken.



Software.
Boneless skinless chicken breast.
Garlic salt.
Pepper.
Teriyaki sauce/marinade.
BBQ sauce. I use KC Masterpiece, it's the best sauce I've ever had (including ones I used to make) and I highly recomend getting your hands on some.



Hardware.
1 Large bowl. (Optional)
1 Larg ziplock bag. (Optional)
Plastic wrap. (Optional)
1 Fork.

Take the chicken out and give it a good rinse, make sure to get into any folds or slits. Then take the fork and stab it 4 or 5 times on each side, just make sure not to go all the way through. Pad them dry.

You can do the marinade a few different ways. You can place the chicken in a bowl and pour the marinade on it and then cover with plastic, or you can put the chicken in a bag and then keep the bag in a bowl so it won't leak out. I used the second method and it worked very well. You'll want to leave this in the fridge for the next 2 to 4 hours, flipping the bag over every hour.







Next comes the burgers and hot dogs.





Software.
Hamburger.
Hot dogs.
Salt.
Pepper.
Garlic salt.
Onion powder.
More BBQ sauce.



Hardware.
Tongs.
Spatula.
Poker.
Small pot with handle.
Brush.

Take the hot dogs and put them aside, if you don't know how to cook a hot dog then I can't help you, go join the others who still have their head on the desk. Now grab as much hamburger meat as you want, I'm going to make 2 burgers here. Mash the clumps flast and then sprinkle on the salt, pepper, garlic salt, and onion power.



Then fold it up like you would a sheet of paper. Take it and squish it together like you would if you were making a meatloaf. Once you think it's mixed enough, divide it into however many patties you want. Remember, the thinner they are, the faster they will cook.



Oh yeah, I hope before you got ground beef on your hands you went outside to make sure the grill was clean and turned all the burners to medium. By the time you're finished making the patties the grill will be nice and hot. We're aiming for around 300 degrees.

Before I go any further, I need to make clear what the difference between BBQing and Grilling is. BBQing is cooking something slowly over indirect heat (such as ribs), Grilling is cooking something quickly over direct heat (like burgers). I'll be employing both methods here.

So start up the music, crack open another cold one, and away we go.

My grill setup has 3 flame bars that go from one side to the other, each can be controlled independantly. So I have the front bar set to low, the middle bar off, and the back bar set to medium. The chicken breasts get placed in the middle to be cooked by indrect heat, and the hamburgers and hot dogs go in the back for a dose of direct heat. Sprinkle garlic salt on the chicken when you first lay them down, and then sprinkle it again when you first flip them over.



Remember to keep the lid closed, if you don't you're just wasting heat and you'll be spending alot more time doing this than you have to be. The cooking time will vary depending on your grill and how thick the meat is. Again, we're looking to maintain things around 300 degrees. Unless you see a ton of smoke, keep the damn lid down.

After about 10 minutes open the lid and flip the burgers and turn the hot dogs. Close it up and wait another 10 minutes. During this time you should pour the BBQ sauce into that small pot and place it over low heat on the side burner (if you have one, if not you can do it inside on a stove).





Slice open the buns and spread on a little melted butter on the inside.



The second round of cooking for the dogs and burgers should be up by now. Take the brush and liberally coat the topside of the burgers with sauce, flip them over and coat the other side, then move them down to the front area (where it's low heat). Then put the buns face down next to them. Wait another 5 minutes. This is also time to turn the chicken.



When the time is up, spread more sauce on both sides of the burger and wait yet another 5 minutes. Remove the dogs, burgers, and buns. You now have hot meat and warm toasty buns to go with them.





Now you just have the chicken to worry about. Give it 20 minutes till you open the lid again to check the chicken. The chicken may or may not be done by this point, again it all depends on how thick it is. If it's not, then check it every 10 minutes till it is. Once you reach that point, you need to brush sauce on them. Coat one side, flip it over and coat the other, and wait 5 minutes and then do it again. After another 5 minutes they are ready to be pulled off the grill and enjoyed by all.





Keep in mind this isn't the only way to bqq/grill. Ask 10 different people about the subject you'll get 10 different answers about what is the best combo. This is just the way I do it and it's worked well for me and has gotten me rave reviews from all who eat my cooking.

[eddysdaman]

"WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?!"

[BlaRo]

So PB, when are you gonna bust out my new favorite recipe, beer can chicken?

[Punisher Bass]

Originally Posted by eddysdaman

"WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?!"

Hehehehe, what episode is that from?

Originally Posted by BlaRo

So PB, when are you gonna bust out my new favorite recipe, beer can chicken?

I've never made it before, so is that request or a challenge?

[eddysdaman]

Season 10:
Mom and Pop Art
Isabella Rossellini plays a gallery owner who sees art in the concrete mess that results from Homer's attempt at building a barbeque. After the piece sells, she arranges a one-man show. Pop artist Jasper Johns has a voice cameo