Ted Kravitz Facts

vikiradTG2007 · July 26th, 2009, 6:50 PM

A tip of the hat to PaperBiro for alerting me to this.

http://twitter.com/#search?q=%23tedkravitzfacts

Started off as a gag on Sniff Petrol's website, now it's swollen across the whole Twitter.

Check those out and make up your own as well. Post 'em here.

Xeon SX · July 26th, 2009, 7:36 PM

what? this should go in off topic :/

Mercury · July 26th, 2009, 7:42 PM

Do I have to be registered on that crap to see it?

vikiradTG2007 · July 26th, 2009, 7:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xeon SX

what? this should go in off topic :/

No. It's related to the BBC's F1 pitlane reporter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mercury

Do I have to be registered on that crap to see it?

I think not.

But as I said, try to make up your own. They're in a similar vein as "Chuck Norris Facts".

PaperBiro · July 26th, 2009, 8:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vikiradTG2007

A tip of the hat to PaperBiro for alerting me to this.

I get credit! images/smilies/biggrin.gif

EDIT: Some pretty pathetic attempts of mine:

Quote:

Ted Kravitz once LITERALLY broke into song and dance on live television. #tedkravitzfacts

Quote:

Ted Kravitz was the first one to coin the popular term "Hamiltime". #tedkravitzfacts

Quote:

Snape killed Ted Kravitz. #tedkravitzfacts

Quote:

Ted Kravitz is a common aphrodisiac in Fiji.#tedkravitzfacts

Quote:

Ted Kravitz is not a Brazillian electrician. #tedkravitzfacts

Quote:

Ted Kravitz IS BEHIND YOU #tedkravitzfacts

Quote:

If Ted Kravitz had Twitter, his tweets would be 140 words MINIMUM. #tedkravitzfacts

Quote:

If you play Michael Jackon's "Smooth Criminal" on reverse, you can hear the words "Lumsden Bumhat" repeated over and over. #tedkravitzfacts

Xeon SX · July 26th, 2009, 9:27 PM

This is stupid, if you like it follow him but no need to have this in the forums. The guy may be doing thousand things, doesnt mean we need to head about it here.

vikiradTG2007 · July 26th, 2009, 9:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xeon SX

This is stupid, if you like it follow him but no need to have this in the forums. The guy may be doing thousand things, doesnt mean we need to head about it here.

You don't get it...

It's a matter of jokes and hyperbolae.

Xeon SX · July 26th, 2009, 9:36 PM

Well one thing is when I see Kimi eating ice cream and Rob calling Massa baby but this, its not funny (

Mercury, yes you have to registered.

vikiradTG2007 · July 26th, 2009, 9:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xeon SX

Well one thing is when I see Kimi eating ice cream and Rob calling Massa baby but this, its not funny (

You have obviously not read enough Sniff Petrol. This whole thing started from him.

*The man behind Sniff Petrol is also a regular part of the TG production team*

Xeon SX · July 26th, 2009, 9:44 PM

I've never seen it, heard but not visited the site. Checking now...

Suspense · July 26th, 2009, 11:19 PM

Quote:

KERS stands for: Kravitz; Everyone's Really Scared.

MP4/14 · July 26th, 2009, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xeon SX

what? this should go in off topic :/

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xeon SX

This is stupid, if you like it follow him but no need to have this in the forums. The guy may be doing thousand things, doesnt mean we need to head about it here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xeon SX

Well one thing is when I see Kimi eating ice cream and Rob calling Massa baby but this, its not funny (

Mercury, yes you have to registered.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xeon SX

I've never seen it, heard but not visited the site. Checking now...

Xeon commenting on something he knows nothing about? THat cant be right. Can it?

You can always chose what to read and what not to read mate.

I have met some whinging poms in my life but bloody hell we need a new rank for you. Is your Mother Margaret Thatcher? That could explain some things.

stiggles · July 27th, 2009, 12:36 AM

Here are mine:

His real name is Theodore Slotover.
He habitually sets the controls for the heart of the sun.
Ted owns the Alpha Centauri system. Apparently 'it's really nice at this time of year'.
Ted has amazing technicolour toes.
Ted's microphone has NEGATIVE MASS.
Ted, along with James May, is in the running for the role of the Master in Doctor Who.
You really don't want to anger him at the new moon.
He counts his influences as being: Louise Goodman, Nikola Tesla and the Stormtrooper that knocked his head in Episode 4.
His headphones have 'special modifications' from Q Branch. Sadly, the 'Kimi Raikkonen emotionaliser' attachment is broken.
Ted diagnosed Kimi Raikkonen with Stig Flu.
If The Australian Gentleman nicked his ORANGE SQUASH Ted would destroy all the ORANGE SQUASH in the world. WIth fire.
He prefers cars that are rear-engined with front wheel drive.
Ted Kravitz would have fixed Richard Hammond's Lanchester with but a mild fixed stare.
If you translate Ted's reports into Magyar and broadcast them on 88.9 MHz all the Morris Marinas in the world will explode.
Ted makes good use of his weather-control abilities to liven up dull races.
Ted Kravitz may or may not be Anthony Davidson in disguise.
If he wanted to, Ted could win the F1 world championship. In a Super Aguri.

Too many?
Xeon SX, lighten up, it's just a bit of fun!

MP4/14 · July 27th, 2009, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stiggles

Xeon SX, lighten up, it's just a bit of fun!

Obviously you havent encountered this before. Xeon doesnt take to kindly to being told to lighten up since his grudge against the human race grows wilder with each post he choses to read and make comments about it that nobody cares about. Let me enlighten you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xeon SX

stupid video.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperBiro

^Oh come on, lighten up! I lol'd big time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MP4/14

Xeon doesnt like fun and doesnt like things that he doesnt know about. He would rather live in a mountain and live off the land than engage someone on a topic he knows nothing about, thinks everything he doesnt like is stupid and lives in a totolatarian state that is his basement. Weighing 450 lbs and lists his hobbies as hanging out with his mom and sewing I introduce Xeon.

stiggles · July 27th, 2009, 12:52 AM

So be it. The perennial red blobs by his name did make me wonder.

Mercury, IIRC you don't have to be a registered Twit in order to view Sniff's feed, and I think the same goes for #tedkravitzfacts.

stiggles · July 27th, 2009, 3:43 PM

New ones:

Ted has the world's only 120TB iPod Shuffle. He keeps all of Murray Walker's commentary on it as a motivational tool.
All F1 cars run on a blend of Ted Kravitz and water. Webber's car is the exception, using ORANGE SQUASH instead of water.
He is more machine than man.
(for my hundredth twit) What a waste of a hundredth twit this is. I can't think of any more #tedkravitzfacts. Apart from that he went to Exeter Uni. FACT.

That's enough of those, methinks.

MadCow809 · July 27th, 2009, 4:33 PM

Quote:

He keeps all of Murray Walker's commentary on it as a motivational tool.

ROFLMFAO

vikiradTG2007 · July 27th, 2009, 4:36 PM

Tom Kristensen's initials are TK, same as Ted Kravitz. This is not a coincidence.
Ted Kravitz invented refuelling, and while he was at it, oil refining.
Ted Kravitz signed an ORANGE SQUASH supply contract with Mark Webber 20 years ago.

PaperBiro · July 27th, 2009, 4:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vikiradTG2007

Tom Kristensen's initials are TK, same as Ted Kravitz. This is not a coincidence.

Team KUIPER's initials are TK, same as Ted Kravitz. This is not a coincidence. I AM TED KRAVITZ.

vikiradTG2007 · July 27th, 2009, 4:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperBiro

Team KUIPER's initials are TK, same as Ted Kravitz. This is not a coincidence. I AM TED KRAVITZ.

In that case, how many tons of ORANGE SQUASH did you deliver for Webber?

EDIT: Another funny one I found out there...

Quote:

Ted Kravitz outqualified Ralf Schumacher 180 - 0 in F1, without even having to get in a car.

July 26th, 2009, 6:50 PM	#1
vikiradTG2007 Joined: Feb 8th, 2007 Last Online: 8:39 PM Location: The People's Republic of Socialist Romanistan Age: 18 Posts: 7,518 Car: Ford Focus MkI 1.8D Rep Power: 161	Ted Kravitz Facts A tip of the hat to PaperBiro for alerting me to this. http://twitter.com/#search?q=%23tedkravitzfacts Started off as a gag on Sniff Petrol's website, now it's swollen across the whole Twitter. Check those out and make up your own as well. Post 'em here. __________________ Red 5 is alive!

July 26th, 2009, 7:42 PM	#3
Mercury Joined: Dec 3rd, 2005 Last Online: 9:37 PM Location: Jerusalem ,Israel Age: 27 Posts: 1,515 Car: Peugeot 206 XS 1.6L Rep Power: 0	Do I have to be registered on that crap to see it? __________________ You utter pirate! - Mr. James May "If you were going to analy rape one of the top gear hosts, Richard would be the top of everyone's list" - Jonathan Ross "Then there’s the pronunciation issue. Jagwarr, Teeyoda, Neesarn, Hundy, Mitsuboosi, BM Dubya, V Dubya – it’s all completely mangled. " - J.Clarkson

July 27th, 2009, 12:36 AM	#13
stiggles Joined: May 28th, 2007 Last Online: 9:42 PM Location: Exeter, United Kingdom Age: 20 Posts: 892 Rep Power: 92	Here are mine: His real name is Theodore Slotover. He habitually sets the controls for the heart of the sun. Ted owns the Alpha Centauri system. Apparently 'it's really nice at this time of year'. Ted has amazing technicolour toes. Ted's microphone has NEGATIVE MASS. Ted, along with James May, is in the running for the role of the Master in Doctor Who. You really don't want to anger him at the new moon. He counts his influences as being: Louise Goodman, Nikola Tesla and the Stormtrooper that knocked his head in Episode 4. His headphones have 'special modifications' from Q Branch. Sadly, the 'Kimi Raikkonen emotionaliser' attachment is broken. Ted diagnosed Kimi Raikkonen with Stig Flu. If The Australian Gentleman nicked his ORANGE SQUASH Ted would destroy all the ORANGE SQUASH in the world. WIth fire. He prefers cars that are rear-engined with front wheel drive. Ted Kravitz would have fixed Richard Hammond's Lanchester with but a mild fixed stare. If you translate Ted's reports into Magyar and broadcast them on 88.9 MHz all the Morris Marinas in the world will explode. Ted makes good use of his weather-control abilities to liven up dull races. Ted Kravitz may or may not be Anthony Davidson in disguise. If he wanted to, Ted could win the F1 world championship. In a Super Aguri. Too many? Xeon SX, lighten up, it's just a bit of fun! __________________ My Flickr 'It wasn't funny three series' ago and it's not funny now.'

July 27th, 2009, 12:52 AM	#15
stiggles Joined: May 28th, 2007 Last Online: 9:42 PM Location: Exeter, United Kingdom Age: 20 Posts: 892 Rep Power: 92	So be it. The perennial red blobs by his name did make me wonder. Mercury, IIRC you don't have to be a registered Twit in order to view Sniff's feed, and I think the same goes for #tedkravitzfacts. __________________ My Flickr 'It wasn't funny three series' ago and it's not funny now.'

July 27th, 2009, 3:43 PM	#16
stiggles Joined: May 28th, 2007 Last Online: 9:42 PM Location: Exeter, United Kingdom Age: 20 Posts: 892 Rep Power: 92	New ones: Ted has the world's only 120TB iPod Shuffle. He keeps all of Murray Walker's commentary on it as a motivational tool. All F1 cars run on a blend of Ted Kravitz and water. Webber's car is the exception, using ORANGE SQUASH instead of water. He is more machine than man. (for my hundredth twit) What a waste of a hundredth twit this is. I can't think of any more #tedkravitzfacts. Apart from that he went to Exeter Uni. FACT. That's enough of those, methinks. __________________ My Flickr 'It wasn't funny three series' ago and it's not funny now.'

July 26th, 2009, 7:36 PM	#2
Xeon SX Joined: Feb 8th, 2005 Last Online: Yesterday Location: London Posts: 1,444 Rep Power: 24	what? this should go in off topic :/

July 26th, 2009, 9:27 PM	#6
Xeon SX Joined: Feb 8th, 2005 Last Online: Yesterday Location: London Posts: 1,444 Rep Power: 24	This is stupid, if you like it follow him but no need to have this in the forums. The guy may be doing thousand things, doesnt mean we need to head about it here.

July 26th, 2009, 9:36 PM	#8
Xeon SX Joined: Feb 8th, 2005 Last Online: Yesterday Location: London Posts: 1,444 Rep Power: 24	Well one thing is when I see Kimi eating ice cream and Rob calling Massa baby but this, its not funny ( Mercury, yes you have to registered.

July 26th, 2009, 9:44 PM	#10
Xeon SX Joined: Feb 8th, 2005 Last Online: Yesterday Location: London Posts: 1,444 Rep Power: 24	I've never seen it, heard but not visited the site. Checking now...

July 27th, 2009, 4:36 PM	#18
vikiradTG2007 Joined: Feb 8th, 2007 Last Online: 8:39 PM Location: The People's Republic of Socialist Romanistan Age: 18 Posts: 7,518 Car: Ford Focus MkI 1.8D Rep Power: 161	Tom Kristensen's initials are TK, same as Ted Kravitz. This is not a coincidence. Ted Kravitz invented refuelling, and while he was at it, oil refining. Ted Kravitz signed an ORANGE SQUASH supply contract with Mark Webber 20 years ago. __________________ Red 5 is alive!

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