This is gona sound pretty weird, but...

zondagirl

Not A Dude
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
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Portsmouth
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Pagani Zonda Roadster (in my dreams !)
I need some help. I know this is a most boys/guys/blokes site, but some advise is needed nethertheless.

I just found out today, but accident, that my husband has registered on a site call adultfriendfinder.com, which is basically a site asking for sex. Now in my books thats trying to cheat. But in a mans book? Is it that same?

Should I say something, keep quiet or what? As far as I know he hasn't done anything yet.

Thanks guys, this is a great site, get great enjoyment out of it. I just hope someone out there can help a gal in distress?
 
Having an account on a website is NOT cheating.
 
Have done that already. So hopefully I can catch him out, well, thats the thought anyhow.
 
Having an account on a website is NOT cheating.

But surely he his intending to cheat, attact other women, he works away lot, so that could be easy.
 
Yeah, that's still cheating in a man's book.


I thought so, but what, from a mans point of view be better, confront or ignore until the dirty deed is done?
 
Your Partner regristed at an online "dating" site ... not a nice thought. I don?t know the site, but on first sight, it doesn?t look like something where you?d register if you don?t plan on using it ... it?s rather explicit at it?s purpose.

It could very well be he?s just curious and not planning anything (some friend made him curious or maybe it?s even FOR a friend) ... but you won?t know that until you talk about it. Talking might be starting a clonflict now where there is none ... but IF he?s not just in there for "fun" (fun fun, not nasty fun), I think it?s better to know sooner than later. You might break a cup now, but still better than having all the dinnerware smashed later, I?d say.
Right now you might have the chance to change stuff ... talk about your relationship ... work on it ... whatever. If you wait untill facts are made, it all get?s more complicated, at least that?s my opinion.
 
If you wait untill facts are made, it all get?s more complicated, at least that?s my opinion.[/QUOTE]

That was my thought. But you are also right where say dont' cause conflict where there isn't any. But I have a really important interview tommorow, I can't risk ruining that. I may just wait until after Thursday and then say something then.
 
Hmm... him registering there doesn't mean anythiing per se (IMO) he might be entertaining the thought that perhaps he might (or would perhaps want to) do something (i.e. he is having fantasies), but that doesn't mean he is ever going to do anything about it.

Although I certainly wouldn't want my wife (should I have one) having an account in there and would definitely confront her should I find out. If I understand correctly said website is not free (i.e. he has had to have spend money...) I'd be slightly worried. But like I said it might be nothing.
 
To top if off, we are having a little money problems, so the fact that I can't buy anything at the mo, and him spending money on there, dosn't make it any easier.

I am quiet a strong women, trying not to cry and the mo. I will try to hold it together until after Thursday, where I will try and pluck up the courage to say something.
 
Yeah, that's still cheating in a man's book.

EDIT:


Does either one of your personals ads involve Pi?a Coladas?

Sorry but no. Maybe I should do the decent thing and give on other ticket for Top Gear away:lol: As punishment.
 
I am quiet a strong women, trying not to cry and the mo. I will try to hold it together until after Thursday, where I will try and pluck up the courage to say something.
... and don?t lose your confidence, don?t let it drive you mad right now. Might as well be nothing and you?d be cursing youself later for having been so down or distracted by this. Try thinking positive ...
 
He's probably just looking at pictures..

Yes maybe. But I've already lost trust in him from before, many years ago though.

Don't trust him as far as I could throw him, sorry but its the truth. I even hate to admit it to myself.
 
... and don?t lose your confidence, don?t let it drive lose your head right now. Might as well be nothing and you?d be cursing youself later for having been so down or distracted by this. Try thinking positive ...

Thanks mate. I just love this site and all of the people on it. Thanks again. I will try to remain positive, until after my interview anyhow. Then it won't matter then.
 
Gotta go hubbie in
 
Having an account on a website is NOT cheating.

Perhaps, but on a site like that, it's the first step down a steep and slippery slope.

From reading the other posts it seems like you have a decent plan to deal with the situation, so my only advice is that when you do talk to him about it, make sure your bulls**t detector is set at maximum efficiency.

I hope everything works out for the best!
 
Isn't "adultfriendfinder.com" an adware site?

No, but it makes guys pay a crap-load of money to do anything, while women can probably join for free. If he's spending money to look at profiles and contact other women, then I would be greatly concerned. If he was just curious, I would be less worried.
 
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