The best ever Clarkson,Hammond and May Quotes

CrazyRussian540 said:
Hammond - I'm in the car, blue, and gross, and there are many rabbits in my trousers, but I hope the big mushroom today!
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:lol:

As someone studying French, that really made me laugh. Some of his mistakes are actually quite understandable for someone who's never had to use the language for a while.

le grande champignon!:lol:
 
CrazyRussian540 said:
Hammond - I'm in the car, blue, and gross, and there are many rabbits in my trousers, but I hope the big mushroom today!
Click to expand...


:lol: which episode was this from?
 
11X02, Hammond trying to speak French in the RS6 review.
 
S11E02, it's what he says in french to the skiers before they start the RS6 vs ski challenge.
 
PaperBiro said:
:lol:

As someone studying French, that really made me laugh. Some of his mistakes are actually quite understandable for someone who's never had to use the language for a while.

le grande champignon!:lol:
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I wonder what he was trying to say when he said "Il-y-a beaucoup de lapin dans mes pantalons"
:lol:

On second thought...I don't think I do...
 
Jezza-"I know which one I'd pick, cows."
Hamster-"Wa?"
Jezza-"Yup, I need mt dairy, milk, cheese, beef"
Hamster-"Oh ya, the cheese..."
James-"Eggs"
Hamster-"No mate..."
Jezza-"No, see James"
James-"No but the eggs come from the milkman"
Jezza-"Yes but he doesn't LAY them!!"

Jezza-"I get my milk from the back of a cow"
Hamster-"Back o- That's not milk...":lol:
 
Ep 6x8

Hammond:

I wanted to demonstrate this to you, and the only thing I could find, I'm afraid, was Jeremy's iPod to connect to it -
which is a sort of elephant's graveyard of dreadful old, dead music.....

:lol:
 
i was watching Top Gear on Dave today and it had the Bobsleigh v Car race (i don't recall the episode number but i know it wasn't the Winter Olympics Special because this had the Ferrari v Plane race in it).
Hammond and May are talking about the course and why their specific mode of travel is faster, such as the car having a engine while the bobsled only has gravity to which May replies. "I can't take lectures on physics from a man in tights, dancing yes, physics no." i've seen this segment a thousand times but it still makes me laugh.
 
nate_bartlet said:
i was watching Top Gear on Dave today and it had the Bobsleigh v Car race (i don't recall the episode number but i know it wasn't the Winter Olympics Special because this had the Ferrari v Plane race in it).
Hammond and May are talking about the course and why their specific mode of travel is faster, such as the car having a engine while the bobsled only has gravity to which May replies. "I can't take lectures on physics from a man in tights, dancing yes, physics no." i've seen this segment a thousand times but it still makes me laugh.
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From the same segment I love James: "Mind the trees you nutteeeerr!"
 
Maarre said:
he wasn't acting if that's what you think...you can tell when someone is under "the spell".
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Right, and I am watching pink elephants fly past my window as I type this...
 
Clarkson (in The Sunday Times):
"You don?t want one, do you? I could have told you it cost 8p, ran on water and was made from solid gold. I could have said each car came with 16 free Angelina Jolies and that the floor mats had been made from the pubic hair of Thai virgins. And you would still be yawning and wondering what restaurant AA Gill has savaged this week."
 
perhaps he had just seen this

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s9kVq6rsZk[/YOUTUBE]
 
Soup? said:
Clarkson (in The Sunday Times):
"You don?t want one, do you? I could have told you it cost 8p, ran on water and was made from solid gold. I could have said each car came with 16 free Angelina Jolies and that the floor mats had been made from the pubic hair of Thai virgins. And you would still be yawning and wondering what restaurant AA Gill has savaged this week."
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:lol::lol::lol:

Sometimes I really wonder how the hell Jezza comes up with stuff like this!
 
ladora said:
:lol::lol::lol:

Sometimes I really wonder how the hell Jezza comes up with stuff like this!
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He could have writers employed everywhere he goes and one following him around and secret compartments in his cars just in case he has to come up with something bloody funny.

Or it could just be him. :)
 
During the Second American Road Trip

Jezza-"Oh no! It's clouding over!!"
*Cuts to tiny cloud in the distance

:lol:
 
"You know what this car should be called, don't you? The Mitsubishi-Did-You-Spill-My-Pint, and the Subaru-YOU-OUTSIDE-NOW!" - Jeremy Clarkson, 02x06

:lmao:
 
May: "I've got news of a fantastic new car alarm. Now this is very, very high tech. Anywhere your car is in Europe, this system - linked to satellite - knows exactly where your car is, and if your car is stolen, it will send you an email, a text message, or a fax."

Clarkson: "Fax?"

May: "A fax."

Hammond: "Who uses this stuff?"

Clarkson: "It's the speediest means of communication known to man..."

May: "Well I've had this vision. Whenever I'm in the office and I'm working away on something, and I hear that little click - it's the fax machine. And I go "Oooh, a fax! It goes *diddiddit diddiddit diddiddit* "Dear Mr May..." I go 'ooh fantastic!' *diddiddit diddiddit diddiddit* "... your car..." Oh my car! What is it?" *diddiddit diddiddit diddiddit* "... has been..." what, entered for a reader's digest draw? *diddiddit diddiddit diddiddit* "...stolen."

--- 02x07 News

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
 
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