The best ever Clarkson,Hammond and May Quotes

Pauline said:
James on Jeremy's Lada Riva having a rev counter: "a rev counter you decadent capitalist pig! ownership for rev counter is theft"
I really liked the way he'd said that!
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"It's aspirational!" :lol::lol::lol:
 
From S13, E01...
"In a bid to close the gap on the pacific-class AGA, James had become Captain Roadrage." -Jeremy
Also...
"They'd told me that coal-fired eggs would be delicious. They were lying. *Cough! Cough!*" -Jeremy
And (the bit Kiskaloo was talking about)...

RH: "Jeremy was in the lead just approaching Doncaster, I was in second place and - as you would expect - Captain Slow was bringing up the rear.
JM: "Steady."
RH: "Hoping to take me from behind."
JM: "Yeah alright!"
RH: "And then press home his advantage and take Jeremy in the tunnel."

Also... good grief!
JM: "Oh God above! One of the farm lorries is overtaking the other one on the only dual-carriage way bit - you selfish turd!"

And...
JM: "Morning, moderners!"
 
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zetruz said:
From S13, E01...
"In a bit (?) to close the gap on the pacific-class AGA, James had become Captain Roadrage." -Jeremy
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That would be 'in a bid to close the gap...'
 
Aye, thanks.:p
 
If you haven?t seen 13x01 yet ...
Jeremy: unlike James May, I will only run on television.
 
Hammond: "Dun de de der, dun de de der, dun de de dun de der dun derrrr!"
 
Jezza-"WHERE ARE YOU?!"
James-"I'm about 10 miles away"
Jezza-"...WHAT??!!"
James- "About 10 miles away!!!!!!"
Jezza-"...17 MILES AWAY?!!!!!!"
James-"ABOUT. 10 MILES. AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jezza-".....30 MILES???!!"
James-*to camera* "He is such a cockhead!!"

:lol:

Very remenicient of Jezza's struggle with the in-car phone.
 
Jeremy: That's my old girlfriend's house, I might have had sex..oh is that it? No I think that's it there
 
I dunno if someone allready posted these, but these are my some of my favorites.

(Jeremy talking to the satnav in a Merc S class)
"Now listen when I speak to you woman"

(Lamborghini LP560 Lap)
"As you can see the stig is now in an orange one because he kept trying to mount the white one"

(Clarkson)
"Drive it everywhere like your hairs on fire"
"Drivings like sex, everyone thinks there good at it"
"This cars like AIDS, great fun catching it, not so much fun to live with everyday"
"There's my opinion, and then the wrong one"

There's just too many.
 
The one in my signature. I think it was the episode where they go to Alabama and Jeremy straps the dead cow to his roof. Someone found a dead squirrel on the side of the road and they were telling Hammond how to eat one, saying he had to peel it first. He said "I don't want to peel a squirrel." Single most memorable quote on TV! It's not everyday someone complains about peeling a rodent found on the side of the road for dinner.
 
Another from 13x01:

Jeremy: Is that one of your special hats?
James: No.
Richard: Do you wear this hat and nothing else sometimes?
Jeremy: *cacks himself laughing*
Richard: For Fusker?
James: Just take a piece of paper.
Richard: You do!
 
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James: The reason, I think, that the Porsche is the best car here, you know when you drive some cars, you get a, a sense that the car is smiling, when you're driving?
Richard: What on earth are you talking about?"
 
Just 'cause I just watched this episode 8x07 (when they're testing family cars)

*Jeremy tries to lift up a seat in the Vauxhall Zafira but can't do it*
RH: "Just lift it up you fool!"
*Richard has a go at it but can't do it either*
JC: "Does anybody got a Zafira?"
Woman: "Move the back seats forward!"
RH: "We knew that!"
JC: "Yeah we knew that!"
JC & RH: "Move the back seats forward!"
*runs toward the back doors*


oh, and two of the best quotes from the American holiday challenge:

JC: "Dent in the roof...that was caused by a cow"

and the second one:

JM: "Do you know what to do with it?"
JC: "Well, we got to-"
RH: "Peel it?!"
*Jeremy cracks up*
RH: "I'm not peeling that!"
 
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jeremy clarkson in the first s class review :

"no! dont dial that, i dont know who that is, it might be the queen!"
 
no! dont dial that it might be the queen!

Some say that he invented the curtain and that he recently submitted a ?20,000 expenses claim for some gravel for his moat. All we know is he's called the Stig

The fact is that Jeremy Clarkson on this journey is a Stoker and I should think he'll be dead by the end of the platform
 
JC: "Quicker......make...make..make millions of coals go in there!"
 
capra said:
Another from 13x01:

Jeremy: Is that one of your special hats?
James: No.
Richard: Do you wear this hat and nothing else sometimes?
Jeremy: *cacks himself*
Richard: For Fusker?
James: Just take a piece of paper.
Richard: You do!
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I couldn't for the life of me understand what they said there at the end. That is SO much funnier than I thought. :lol:
 
capra said:
Another from 13x01:

Jeremy: Is that one of your special hats?
James: No.
Richard: Do you wear this hat and nothing else sometimes?
Jeremy: *cacks himself*
Richard: For Fusker?
James: Just take a piece of paper.
Richard: You do!
Click to expand...

haha! James was so unimpressed, brilliant :D
 
I know it's been said before, but this always has me in stitches:

"This cars like AIDS, great fun catching it, not so much fun to live with everyday"

So unPC and doesn't give a toss. Love it!
 
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