Validating is easy once you get the hang of it. Put simply, it's letting the other person know that you understand where they are coming from. It's not the same as agreeing with them.
For example:
"I love manual transmissions, I think they give the driver better feel and control."
Response:
"Manuals certainly do give some drivers the feeling of being more in control of the car. Automatics also have their place for drivers who don't really want or need that sportiness in their vehicles."
Do you see what I did there? I let the speaker know that his ideas/feelings are valid. I also didn't use "but," which just negates everything that comes before it. Instead, I added new information to what was already spoken, thus building on the conversation.
Try it, I bet you will find you get better results.
For example:
"I love manual transmissions, I think they give the driver better feel and control."
Response:
"Manuals certainly do give some drivers the feeling of being more in control of the car. Automatics also have their place for drivers who don't really want or need that sportiness in their vehicles."
Do you see what I did there? I let the speaker know that his ideas/feelings are valid. I also didn't use "but," which just negates everything that comes before it. Instead, I added new information to what was already spoken, thus building on the conversation.
Try it, I bet you will find you get better results.