Dear DMV

altoid

I donated for the custom title. Suck it.
Joined
Jan 1, 2010
Messages
2,332
Location
Los Angeles, California
Car(s)
‘14 Mazderp3, ‘22 Checkpoint SL 5
Dear DMV,

Fuck you.

When I wanted to take my motorcycle permit test I made an appointment. Then I actually managed to find time before said appointment and thus I canceled it when I finished the day before. We both knew I would have to return to turn in my Motorcycle Safety Foundation certificate so that you could provide me with an updated version of my driver's license?one which would list my motorcycle eligibility as well?and I expected you would treat me the same way.

Oh how I was wrong.

I had opted not to make an appointment because I thought you cared enough about me to waste no more than two hours of my time. I had hoped for a quick in and out, much like the last time. I even gave myself more of a time cushion, just in case you happened to be a bit moody today.

And you just took a fat shit all over that.

I went to the same location where we last met and you had closed for renovations. I admit I should have checked beforehand. This one is on me. But when I went to the next closest one you welcomed me with a loud slap across the face followed by a swift kick in the nuts. Ten minutes to park three blocks away, ten minutes to walk over to you, and then a wait time of well over three and a half hours. Was that really necessary? Did I really deserve that?

I am sorry, DMV, if I somehow offended you. I am sorry if my assumption that our relationship would not change quite so quickly was insulting. I am sorry that I trusted you, you ugly, bloated cunt.

So fuck you, DMV. Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery.

Love always,
altoid

P.S.: I will see your dirty mug on Friday morning, bright and early. This time I will bring extra spare time, so ha!
 
:hug:


My last DMV trip took about three minutes of waiting, two minutes of explaining, ten minutes of laughing with the clerk about the stupidity of one of his colleagues who managed to fuck up my car's papers.
 
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:lmao:

Going for the annual vehicle inspections WAS and all day affair. You did take a packed lunch and much amusements because you knew you were going to be spending all day in the car. I know your pain!
 
Makes me glad we trust our documents to the Welsh. No, hang on a minute...
 
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:lmao:

Going for the annual vehicle inspections WAS and all day affair. You did take a packed lunch and much amusements because you knew you were going to be spending all day in the car. I know your pain!

That's sad. Over here if you wait more than 15 minutes for your appointment at the Technischer ?berwachungs-Verein then your inspection is free.
 
I had to get an under 21 license because you can only get an over 21 license on you birthday, mine happened to be a sunday :|
If I want a new license I will have to stand in line for hours again, get my picture taken again, and then PAY AGAIN.
 
I am sorry, DMV, if I somehow offended you. I am sorry if my assumption that our relationship would not change quite so quickly was insulting. I am sorry that I trusted you, you ugly, bloated cunt.

So fuck you, DMV. Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery.

Love always,
altoid

Any DMV trip should be treated as an all-day affair. Period.

Takes less than three hours here, even in the busiest urban offices, with no appointment to do something similar. (Ask CrazyJeeper, he just got his motorcycle endorsement in one of the busiest offices in Texas a few months back.) If you need a replacement duplicate title, it takes less than five minutes from the moment you get to the counter - and usually no more than fifteen minutes waiting. (We just got CrazyJeeper's title for his 750 from the DMV and it took less than ten minutes from the time we walked in the front door until we walked out with the freshly printed title.) Transfer of title? About five minutes. New plates? Same. Reregistration in person? Same.

California? You need an appointment to do anything, and then you might as well resign yourself to wasting the entire day. Or two, because sometimes they won't get to you and you'll have to come back. Assuming you can get an appointment in a reasonable amount of time, which sometimes they don't do. The law in CA says that upon moving to the state you have 30 days to trade in your old license for a new CA one. One woman moved there and discovered that the first DMV appointment time available was about 45 days out. She was pulled over and ticketed around day 35. Judge wouldn't dismiss it despite her not having any other option and the state being at fault. She's suing the state now.

If you need a duplicate title, well, better sit back and wait, because it can take up to SIX MONTHS or more. And they will only process it by mail. There is NO walk in service for a new title anywhere in the state. And for this, they charge you more vehicle registration fees, processing fees, and general fees related to your vehicle than any other state and some Western European nations.

California is a failed state with regards to vehicles and transactions therein. What's especially funny is that Texas is using various systems that were evaluated by California to resolve their problems - and California rejected them as being 'too efficient'. One of the capitals of technology by their own claims, and they won't use it to fix their problems because it's 'too efficient.' Cute.

I could comment on the commonality of all the states that have terrible DMVs, but that would get well into the political. Instead, I will simply observe that not all states have their heads up their arse like California does and dealing with DMV in many other states is not unpleasant or time wasting at all.
 
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The law in CA says that upon moving to the state you have 30 days to trade in your old license for a new CA one. One woman moved there and discovered that the first DMV appointment time available was about 45 days out. She was pulled over and ticketed around day 35. Judge wouldn't dismiss it despite her not having any other option and the state being at fault. She's suing the state now.

While it does indeed suck to not get an appointment in reasonable time, I see no point in sueing the state. So she drove without a valid license and gets pulled over? That's her fault, nobody is forcing her to drive.
 
While it does indeed suck to not get an appointment in reasonable time, I see no point in sueing the state. So she drove without a valid license and gets pulled over? That's her fault, nobody is forcing her to drive.

Technically, she still has a valid license to drive from her prior state of residence. The "surrender your license" thing is common to many states, but most states actually have a more reasonable time frame - Texas laws say you have 90 days to swap out your license, for example. Just because this sort of thing might happen.

Then again, California is notorious for not thinking through their laws before passing them and invoking the law of unintended consequences.

However, there's another element I didn't mention - when the woman set her appointment, she noticed the same discrepancy in the critical dates. When she queried the DMV about it, the representative told her that as long as she had an appointment, she'd be okay and that she was clear to drive in the meantime.

So we have a case of the state (i.e., the government) telling her that it was okay to go ahead and drive even though she was technically in violation... and then the same state giving her a ticket for following the state's own instructions in good faith. And because she's gotten this ticket, the state is going to suspend her license. All because she followed the state's instructions. Is it any wonder she's suing?

Not the first time this kind of idiocy has happened out there.
 
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So some clerk told her it would be "ok" to drive without a valid license? Still her fault.
 
The Maryland DMV is quite quick about everything except driver services. Car stuff, done in a flash. License-related stuff? Eternal waiting.

Why? Because roughly half the service windows are set up for vehicle services and half for driver services. In addition, the driver services half can ALSO do vehicle services, and will pull from that queue in a first-come-first-served manner as well.

WAY more people need to renew their licenses at any given moment than need to dick around with titles, registrations, tags, inspections, etc.
 
I'll piss you off and say that, when I bought my Miata, I went in, registered my car, and renewed the reg on my G35. I didn't make an appointment. I was in and out in about 35 minutes. I live 20 miles south of San Francisco. Going to the right DMV is a must, especially in California.
 
So some clerk told her it would be "ok" to drive without a valid license? Still her fault.

Not in American jurisprudence (and amusingly, especially not in California). As the clerk was acting in an official capacity as representative for the state and the woman was not a lawyer admitted to the bar in CA, she had no reasonable cause to suspect otherwise and followed the instructions given to her by the state representative.

The judge should have dismissed the ticket, but did not. That wasn't the real problem, though. The problem was that then she got word that her license was going to be revoked and suspended because of the ticket, which she got because a representative of the licensing agency told her it was okay. Yeah, that's a clusterf**k and there's going to be lawsuits over that - rightfully so, due to all of CA's 'consumer protection' and 'citizen protection' laws.

I'll piss you off and say that, when I bought my Miata, I went in, registered my car, and renewed the reg on my G35. I didn't make an appointment. I was in and out in about 35 minutes. I live 20 miles south of San Francisco. Going to the right DMV is a must, especially in California.

It shouldn't be a matter of going to the 'right' DMV. Given the outrageous amount of money charged for anything vehicle related, continuous expansion of DMV offices, and ridiculous staffing levels the CA unions force at DMV shops, this shouldn't happen at any DMV location in CA. But it does, because... well, that's political. Basically, CA voters won't hold their out of control government responsible and then wonder why the place is broke.

I can walk into any registration office in the state of Texas, including the busiest office in Austin or Houston or Dallas or even El Paso (which is notoriously bad) and be done in less than half an hour on average including waiting. I can also renew my registration at many businesses around the state outside of normal 9-5 government business hours, if I so choose and if the normal office hours are not convenient for me. I can even renew online while sitting at my computer in a bathrobe at 2AM, something the 'Silicon Valley State' won't let you do, last I checked. (You have to have paperwork from CA in your hands first AND have already filed more paperwork with the state before you can do that there. I don't have to have anything but my insurance card and a credit card, and I don't have to wait for a mother-may-I permission slip from the state.) My state isn't run by idiots; we went automated, then put the automation to work for the citizens.
 
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There is only one DMV left in driving distance of me I think. There were a shitload and they are all closed/closing
 
There was a great one over in Plainville, in and out extremely quickly for anything, which got closed leaving me with Taunton and Brockton the only DMVs in the area. Both of them suck. I call them DMV but they are actually RMVs.
 
Even if they were good it wouldn't matter now since like 3/4 of them are gone so the wait time is waaaay longer.
 
I'll piss you off and say that, when I bought my Miata, I went in, registered my car, and renewed the reg on my G35. I didn't make an appointment. I was in and out in about 35 minutes. I live 20 miles south of San Francisco. Going to the right DMV is a must, especially in California.

Same. None of my visits ever took more than 40 minutes.
 
I can relate our BMV was complete shit, 4-5 hour waits were the norm, I remember reading the majority Of Mice and Men back in school waiting in line to get my permit. But it's all changed with our last governor, I honestly haven't waited in line for more than a minute and rarely am in the BMV for more than 10-15 minutes. It's all Mitch Daniels fault, like Spectre said he integrated online, not hiring idiots, common sense, etc. But really it's 'cause he's the most BA governor Indiana has ever seen...

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Fuck yeah!
 
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