The "When I come to power I will......" Thread

Why not just go toke in Hawaii?
 
Because it's full of Americans!

:p
 
Pfft, some of us are also in Texas, you know.

- wants a Pufftatorship
 
I would ban the manufacture, sale and consumption of all fake foods, that means no more veggie burgers, tofu-based cheese, tofurkey, no more of whatever other shit non-food that the hippies have come up with, and especially no more veggie bacon. if you want to eat that shit, get the hell out of my country.

Road rules: to be road legal in my county, a vehicle must have a top speed of at least 150 mph, and be able to get from zero to sixty in at least six seconds. NO exeptions. also, cars have the right of way over pedestrians and bicyclists in the road.
 
GRtak said:
Why not just go toke in Hawaii?
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Because I like California. And I want to keep Laguna Seca, Willow Springs, Infineon, Thunderhill, Buttonwillow, and all the rest. Hawaii doesn't have that many race tracks.

I also like earthquakes. I have half a mind to build an earthquake machine and send some earthquakes eastward to scare the pants off people.

Hehe, pants.
 
Strelok16 said:
I would ban the manufacture, sale and consumption of all fake foods, that means no more veggie burgers, tofu-based cheese, tofurkey, no more of whatever other shit non-food that the hippies have come up with, and especially no more veggie bacon. if you want to eat that shit, get the hell out of my country.
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You would ban all "fast food", everything that comes in powder-in-bag form and all ready-to-eat supermarket meals?

Are you a cook or something? :lol:
 
calvinhobbes said:
You would ban all "fast food", everything that comes in powder-in-bag form and all ready-to-eat supermarket meals?
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No, just all of the crap hippies like to eat. If hippies don't care/hate it, then its good to go. I'm not a cook :p I just hate hippie food...

Strelok16 said:
Road rules: to be road legal in my county, a vehicle must have a top speed of at least 150 mph, and be able to get from zero to sixty in at least six seconds. NO exeptions.
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Actually, one exeption: classics. thats it though. all new cars must meet those requirements.

I made that post when I was in a rush and didn't quite have time to think things through properly
 
Well tofu is a pretty ancient food that is basically bean curd and it can be really delicious in plenty of Asian dishes, it's really no different than beans in lots of American dishes. Easy source or protein and an inexpensive filler. Kind of gets taboo when it's linked to veganism.
 
dictator.jpg
 
Man, I'm glad some of you aren't actually in any positions of power. ;)
 
No shit! Some peoples are just scarey.
 
When I come to power, I will...

-Remove the federalization rubbish for cars, completely de-restrict imports, uprate speed limits appropriately, raise difficulty of driving tests.
-Cast all Prii into a volcano
-Owners of vehicles deemed Carbage, douchey, etc., will be reeducated; their vehicles will either be destroyed or returned to stock
-No more of this long trial rubbish; adopt Russian policy and pop the baddies in the back of the head after successful conviction, although provisions will be made for appeals to minimize the elimination of innocents
-All politics banned, no more commentators, no more parties, etc.
-2nd Amendment rights updated, no more nutters getting guns, responsible people able to get Class III without all the silliness
-Remove lame classes from mandatory list for university degrees, I'm looking at you, political science, history, and writing courses
-If I don't like you, you are exiled
-No petrol or diesel taxes
-Marijuana legalized and taxed like crazy
-Increase tax on alcohol and tobacco products
 
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BlaRo said:
Man, I'm glad some of you aren't actually in any positions of power. ;)
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The State wishes it be known that it realizes that your criticism of the government was merely in jest, and indeed finds your joke funny. As the State is against censorship of dissenting opinion, we shall not have you permanently silenced. Instead, we wish to extend a cordial invitation to you to join a party hosted for key members of the State. It will be held in that building that looks like a gulag. The screaming, crying, and lamentations, you ask? Oh, its all just to keep the looky-loos and reality TV show seekers away. You won't see or hear any of it once inside.

Anyways, some more rules.

Guidos are to be de-tanned, de-spiked, and sterilized before being removed from the country.
SUVs/large trucks can only be bought if the buyers can prove that they will be used for their intended purpose.
Brodozers (The States wishes to credit Blind_Io, head of the Ministry of Zombie Extermination, for the term) will be scrapped, with the owners watching, before the psychological torture involving mocking the size of his manhood.
A minimum cylinder count of 8 (6 with forced induction) will be implemented for hybrids.
GM is no longer Government Motors.
The State will strongly recommend that Tata fire Ian Callum. (Spectre'll love that one)
Fun, fun, fun on die Autobahn.
Anyone who ruins our fun on our Autobahn will have their car replaced with one of those push-scooter things that used to be so popular.
New Jersey will undergo rigorous de-sucking operations.
Actually, expand that to all states.
You will respect my vast collection of self-awarded medals.
More to come...
mmhmm, mmhmmhmmhmm, muhahaha, mwuhahaha, MWUA HA HA HA HA HA...
 
After the revolution, we will form the 'Commission to Lose Innapriopriate Clothing'. They will follow attractive people with heat lamps so they never feel the need to wrap up warm or wear shirts.

This will apply to both sexes, as your new administration recognises that there's nothing wrong with that.
(Yes, the acronym is CLIT)
 
Er, no, it isn't..... :idiot:
 
Oh yes it is! You don't include the linking words in Acronyms.
*Points to RSPB to prove it*
 
C(t)LIC!

:p:p:p:p:p:p:p

and

:idiot: again!

Somehow the Commission to Lose Inappropriate Trousers doesn't work for me.
 
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Mineworksfine said:
C(t)LIC!

:p:p:p:p:p:p:p

and

:idiot: again!

Somehow the Commission to Lose Inappropriate Trousers doesn't work for me.
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why not, you could apply it to spandex leggings and hang off your ass pants
 
No commissions! period......everything takes to long , I will decide who needs to go clotheless.
 
Right Number 1 - I will reform the EU - Europe Must Change to driving on the other side of the road
EURO is outlawed (anyone found with a Euro will be made to watch reruns of East German TV from the 1980s for 22 hours per day) and all money will be pounds sterling
All fish is confiscated except that fished by British and Irish vessels
All languages are banned except English (UK)
Anyone found using American English and from Europe will have their nether regions re-educated with a road roller
All of Europe will be taught how to make and be forced to drink tea
Jacques Delors should be made to pose naked on a web cam 16 hours per day
EU to decide whether they are going to sit in Brussells or Strasborg and shut the other one down
EU to get the Acconts up to date and audited - anyone caught stealing should be sent to St Helena
Anyone caught with a bust of Napoleon, the Kaiser or Hitler should be sent to St Helena
Anyone so religious that they think, everyone else is wrong and are blasphemas or Infidels or gentiles etc. will be sent to St Helena
Cricket will be played in all European Schools

On the home front:
All Chavs and Pikeys are to be exiled to St. Helena - we will lie to them and tell them they are going on holiday
All NIMBYS will be rounded up and we will moan at them for hours and hours
Stone henge will have the fence pulled down and anyone who wants to can go and see and touch the stones
Tax will be reduced on drink to 10%
Pubs to be subsidised on the Council Tax
Audi and BMW drivers who go around bullying people will be forced to drive re-conditioned Yugos Zastavas
All Directors of Banks MUST have proper banking qualifications - or else. ... (Up against the wall etc.)
All Politicians will have their expense accounts confiscated and they have to bid to get the job, highest 650 bidders get in - same as now only more honest about how things happen.
BBC to bring back the Magic Roundabout with original british BBC versions of the scripts
Anyone who works in a call centre with a totally inpenetrable accent should be sent to St Helena with the Chavs
Wayne Rooney has to have his potato removed and a head found for him, preferably with an unused brain in it.
 
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