Kill a dream

Granted. Your immune system has given up and it has killed you.

I wish I wasn't going through an identity crisis.
 
Granted. Until I, Miss M. Hindley, escape from prison and murder you.

I wish I wasn't a despised murderer.
 
Granted. You are now a beloved ant.

I wish that there was more time
 
Granted. It's now tomorrow. Get up! Get out of bed! There's a new day head!

I wish clocks had a Fast Forward button.
 
Granted. But it only works in non-working hours.

I wish that nights were 22 hours long
 
Granted. The Earth's spin is suitably slowed. You can now sleep for 22 hours a day, but days are now 72 hours long and you have to work 24 hours a day. No, there is no pay increase.

I wish the Goon Show was still being produced, with the original cast all still alive and well.
 
Granted. But you are now deaf.

I wish that I had more stamina
 
Granted. Now you have to queue lovers up to satisfy you.

I wish my colleague hadn't gone on vacation and that I could have gone instead.
 
Granted. Welcome to Winter in Siberia

I wish that I had twice the savings I have now
 
Granted. But first, I stole all your savings. 2 x $0 = $0.

I wish I had a fish.
 
Granted. It's a minnow.

I wish I knew why PaperBiro wanted a fish.
 
Granted, it turns out he really wants piranhas and he's going to feed you to them.

I wish the rain would stop.
 
Granted. But it requires you to sacrifice a goat each time.

I wish that I had better reception
 
Granted. But it's now too late.

I wish I was more settled in my life.
 
Last edited:
Granted, your body has now settled at the bottom of the lake and the fish are happily nomming.

I wish I had some super smart brains
 
Granted. You are then promptly arrested for stealing Einstein's brain in a jar.

I wish that paradise really existed.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top