It does take some time to get used to driving a manual transmission but after some time, you start to do things without thinking.
On the other hand, switching from manual to automatic also needs time to get used to since these damn things never do what you want them to do.
The first driving lesson (manual transmission is standard in driving schools here) usually starts on an empty parking site. The first thing you learn is how to get the car going without giving ANY throttle at all. The first thing that happens is, of course, that you stall the car. A lot.
Get the car rolling (slowly) so that you can take your foot off the clutch pedal. Don't touch the throttle at all. Repeat that several times. It will give you a good feeling for the clutch. After that, repeat while giving a bit of throttle (not much, a few hundred revs over idle will do). Try to find the balance between clutching-speed and engine revs.
Furthermore, forget about double-clutching and heel-toe. Double-clutching isn't necessary with a syncronized gearbox and heel-toe is a thing you would normally do on a race-track. Of course, you can learn these things (doesn't hurt) but they are not essential and 99.9% of all manual transmission drivers don't even know about them. It's more important, not to rip hard on the shift knob (since that puts extra stress on the sycros). Smoothness is the key, not force.
Get to a level where you don't have to think about it anymore. In short: Drive, drive, drive. And yes, stalling the engine at a traffic light is embarrassing but it's part of the learning process.
And remember not to leave your foot on the clutch pedal after changing gears.
The TDI doesn't give you the chance to react, it doesn't rumble, it doesn't cough, it just makes a *plop*-noise and stands still.
I noticed this mainly on VW clutches, mostly Golf TDIs, so it doesn't apply to all turbo-diesels. It doesn't seem to depend on the engine power either.
On the other hand: My first car (a small '94 nissan sunny hatchback
) had a very sharp and somewhat strange clutch. As soon as you came to the sweet spot, the back pressure of the pedal became much stronger and *plop*. It was a good training, but in comparison, the clutches in most cars now appear a bit numb to me.
syncros dont last as long as the rest of the car. how many 90's cars have you driven with a 1st gear syncro good enough so you dont have to stop the car to engage 1st?
Quite a lot. I've driven cars with more than 250.000kms on the clock and the syncros still worked pretty well. As said above, it's more important to shift smoothly without applying unnecessary force so the syncros can do what they are supposed to.
I just feel very bad all the time when I do something wrong, I love my cars, and I hate like how it feels like I'm killing my car every time I do something wrong. But thats a good thing, to motivate me to drive better, but still feels so bad...
That's natural. But usually, cars are pretty tough in that respect. A driving school car gets stalled and abused all day long and doesn't break. But if you already smelled clutch then I would suggest you should try clutching a bit faster and at lower revs. Try to find the balance.