Common european language?

[transtek]

Nu English

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w"with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

[No Boss]

Originally Posted by transtek

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

HAHA Fantastic!!

Reminds me of this stanza I read some years ago:

Arocdcing to a rrceaesh at Caibdrmge Unriisvtey, it deosn't mettar in waht oedrr the ltteers in a wrod are. The olny iatoprmnt tnihg is taht the fsrit and lsat leettr be in the rhgit pcale.The rset can be a tatol mses and you can slitl raed it whtuiot poelbrm. Tihs is bauscee the hamun mnid deos not raed eevry letetr by itslef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

[teeb]

I read this thread, thought "Esperanto", and giggled to myself.

[Overheat]

wow - excellent work people

loved that.

[pdanev]

Haha, this was great!!!!

[bresola]

That's really great, but I should get a new name like Geringlish ou Engman...

But it makes me think of sth, all the people trying hard to learn proper english are doing it for nothing

[frizzipazzi]

Originally Posted by teeb

I read this thread, thought "Esperanto", and giggled to myself.

me too

[matt_shaw]

That's awesome!

[jayhawk]

Funny!

[No Boss]

Originally Posted by jayhawk

Funny!

Jay, is that May's school boy pic?

[joemoefro]

nice, This is still amusing even if I did read this last year

[jayhawk]

Originally Posted by No Boss

Jay, is that May's school boy pic?

Yup!!

[IVIaster]

Great!

[FATMOUSE]

About third year onwards the best german accent starts playing in my head to read out the rest of the words.

Pure gold.

[mancs]

^ What he said, gold

[Ethan]

It's Herringuese

Check this forum for a proper conversation in Herringuese

Linky

[mmap]

older than the hills... but still funny

[fbc]

[watto]

Zat vas very funy!

[mautzel]

Originally Posted by mmap

older than the hills... but still funny

For those of you who speak German (and probably will already know this), here's an attempt at improving the German language for good:

Die neue deutsche Rechtschreibung

Hier eine kleiner Vorschlag zur Vereinfachung der Rechtschreibung:

* Erster Schritt:
Wegfall der Großschreibung

einer sofortigen einfuehrung steht nichts mehr im wege, zumal schon viele graphiker und werbeleute zur kleinschreibung uebergegangen sind.

* zweiter schritt:
wegfall der dehnungen und schaerfungen

dise masname eliminirt schon di groeste felerursache in der grundschule, den sin oder unsin unserer konsonantenverdopelung hat ohnehin nimand kapirt.

* driter schrit:
v und ph ersezt durch f, z ersetzt durch s, sch verkürzt auf s

das alfabet wird um swei buchstaben redusirt, sreibmasinen und setsmasinen fereinfachen sich, wertfole arbeitskraefte koenen der wirtsaft sugefuert werden.

* firter srit:
g, c und ch ersetst durch k, j und y ersetst durch i

iestst sind son seks bukstaben ausgesaltet,die sulseit kan sofort fon neun auf swei iare ferkuertst werden, anstat aksik prosent rektsreibunterikt koenen nuetslikere faeker wi fisik, kemi oder auk reknen mer gepflegt werden.

* fuenfter srit:
wekfal fon umlauten

ales uberflusike ist ietst auskemertst, di ortokrafi wider slikt und einfak, naturlik benotikt es einige seit, fileikt ein bis swei iare, anslisend durfte als nekstes sil die fereinfakung der nok swirikeren und unsinikeren kramatik anfisiert werden.

bis demnekst