Funny stuff from tourist guides to Germany ;)

[efoolution]

Originally Posted by D-Fence

China:

Don´t compliment the Germans. It makes them feel like you are looking down on them and insult them

Never whisper in public. That makes the Germans feel suspicously.

Never stare at Germans, they think you don´t like them.

When going to a fish restaurant in Germany, don´t talk while eating. It´s not polite.

Never order milk for breakfast. Germans think milk for breakfast is an imposition.

America

Don´t smile too much in Germany. Germans need a reason to smile, they are pessimistic and enjoy it. Who smiles too much is suspicious or insane.

Skip the "How are you", because Germans hate gossip. They don´t care if others have a nice day or not.

Germans hate people who break the rules. For example when you don´t stand on the right side of an escalator will be bumped into, run over and shouted at.

Don´t think Germans don´t have humor. They enjoy loud beer fests, cosy wine cellars and street cafes. Drop all your clothes together with the Germans at Oktoberfest or Carnival.

Netherlands

Immediately stop at red and on the Autobahn always get back on the right lane immediately, otherwise whole Germany will really think, that "NL" means "Nur Links (only left)". (I love this one ^^)

Don´t call everyone instantly with his first name, like it is common in the Netherlands. Don´t give strangers three kisses on the cheek, but maintain distance and shake their hand.

Be on time and when invited always bring a present.

Japan

When coming to Germany, a car-kingdom, you should drive for yourself. The Germans keep to the rules so it is easy for us to drive in Germany.

You don´t only get German beer on the Oktoberfest. It is very good everywhere, so that is worth a trip - called in German "Bierreise" (Beer trip). It is certainly interesting to try the special beer in every part of Germany and have a pixilated trip.

The most important words: Guten Tag, Dankeschön und Prost! (Hello, Thanks, and a drinking phrase )

Italy:

The Germans of the new millenium are mostly liberal, travel much and speak surprisingly at least one or two foreign languages.

More specialities: Germans trink a tasteless coffee broth, sort their trash daintily into four seperat containers, hate open doors, trink water with too much sparkling, prefer showers over baths and love their car more than anything else.

Germans celebrate carnival with a Mediterranean airless. This shows, that they are not so strict, as everyone thinks.

Great Britain:

Quality and variety of the German beer are world wide unique. Over 1200 breweries, over the half of them in Bavary - the beer drinkers paradise. In Baden-Württemberg and Rheinland-Pfalz is the beer softer, because people here are used to drinking wine.

Don´t order a beer with the raised forefinger, you might easily get two. Remember: The German starts counting with his thumb.

It is very important to say "Sie" to other persons, not just "Du". Only young people and students don´t care.

France

Big breakfast at noon: Bratwurst (sausage) and beer, later "Le Käsekuchen" (cheese cake (looks like cheese, no worries, no cheese included ) and a Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte (A torte, flan, with chocolate, cherries, alcohol ^^ and some other delightful stuff )
"Lassen Sie kein Trinkgeld auf dem Tisch liegen, drücken Sie es dem Kellner in die Hand und sagen „Stimmt so!“."

Don´t leave the tip on the table. Give it into the waiters hand and say "Stimmt so"

Everybody says Germans have no humor. That´s wrong!

Spain

German weather is very complicated, even in summer. Even in august, always bring a warm pullover, dress in such a way, that you are immune against the very hot temperatures and also the rain.

They don´t just drink wine, it is a luxury thing, which is consumed in a nice atmosphere and in no case just out of the bottle.

You don´t just kiss a German on the right and left cheek. Shake their hand, even small children learn it in Germany. Practice this ritual of the north tribe at home before you go on the trip.

Sadly, most of this is true, at least in a certain way, in some place here.

[triumph]

OMG this is Gold I have to show it to my roommate.

However this won't help against clichés.
Here in Baden-W , people are like people in France ,actually I never saw big differences between germans and us in the daily life especially the usual crap about germans being "cold" and obsess with rules .
I feel completely at home here.
Germany is cool 8)

Yo Alter sag mal wo is das Museum ey

I could say that to a young german it wouldn't bother me.

As for the DU and Sie being a french assistant in a Gymnasium(high school) I was really amazed by the respect high school students have for their teachers , it was hard for them to say "Du" to me, and even now after 6months working there , some of the students are talking to me as -Herr Cardon können Sie- , although some of them are 18 and I'm only 22 . It makes me feel old!!!!!!!!

EDIT:

TRY speaking French EVERYBODY there is so nice to you, but try the same with like a bit of English or pointing at things....no response by the peasants

Oh come on we are not all peasants with the sabots and the baguette under the arm coming back from the bar when we drunk our Beaujolais.But yes we will always help foreigners if we see that they're trying to speak french (I guess we don't like when someone speak english because the vast majority of us are hopeless when it comes to speak a foreign language) ,plus the french girls find it cute(which usually drives frenchguys crazy )

[Blind_Io]

Originally Posted by triumph

Oh come on we are not all peasants with the sabots and the baguette under the arm coming back from the bar when we drunk our Beaujolais.But yes we will always help foreigners if we see that they're trying to speak french (I guess we don't like when someone speak english because the vast majority of us are hopeless when it comes to speak a foreign language) ,plus the french girls find it cute(which usually drives frenchguys crazy )

That settles it! France is now officially on my top 10 places to visit. Can you please tell me the precise ratio of French to English I should have in my speech to maximize my sex appeal to cute French girls?

Sorry, I'm a sucker for accents and I guess I am still lamenting the beautiful French exchange student I let get away back in college.

[phuckingduck]

Where'd my "French for Dummies" book go......

[BlaRo]

French people aren't mean, they're know that their fair city of Paris is the most popular tourist attraction in the world, so they're polite while they try to sell you some naked-lady lighters.

I did meet a British guy who was an asshole because I accidentally stepped on his foot. So that obviously means everybody from England is a prick, right?

Don´t order a beer with the raised forefinger, you might easily get two. Remember: The German starts counting with his thumb.

"Wow, what a great country! I ask for one beer and they bring two! It's like they read my mind or something!"

Absolutely! It's beer 24/7

I like you guys. 8)

This is a great thread. I want to take German because I'll definitely be visiting there eventually, and these tips aren't exactly in the textbook. Now teach me some swears!