Happy 4th of July

[Blind_Io]

For all us Yanks - Happy Independence Day!

For all you Brits - bet you feel pretty silly now, don't ya!? 8)

(all in good fun, fellas)

[SL65]

I bet that scared all you Yanks Sorry


Have a good one I once spent July 4th in NY and it was pretty cool...love to go back!

[Blind_Io]

Well, that's ok. Afterall the Revolutionary War could have gone either way - just like Football (the proper kind, played with the pigskin) the coin toss counts for alot. I think before the war started you guys lost the toss.

"Ok call it"
"Heads"
"It's tails, the revolutionaries get to make the rules"
"Ok, you have to wear bright red, march down the middle of the road, use short range inaccurate muskets, and can only fight when we face you on the feild. We get to wear green and brown, shoot at you from the tree line, aim for the officers and use our Kentucky long rifles with greater range and accuracy than your guns."
"Hey! That's not fair!"
"Now you're getting the hang of it."

[jayhawk]

Well, I suppose the British did get some revenge in 1812....burned down our Capitol and what not.

Nice try.


Happy Fourth of July, Americans!

[Overheat]

I know nothing about Independence Day except that it was a pretty good film. It's not something that's taught to us brits. We learn about World War I and II in history, and the history of Britain rather than the history of America.

[BlaRo]

Happy 4th as well, from me in Japan.

[jayjaya29]

Happy 4th everybody!

[Firecat]

Yeah, Happy 4th! Thanks France!

[Lilleput]

45,000 Bottle Rocket Salute

[Blind_Io]

Originally Posted by Overheat

I know nothing about Independence Day except that it was a pretty good film. It's not something that's taught to us brits. We learn about World War I and II in history, and the history of Britain rather than the history of America.

That's just silly. Having a bunch of your colonies break off and declare independence isn't part of your history? I think over there you guys call it The War of Insurrection.

[No Boss]

Originally Posted by Blind_Io

just like Football (the proper kind, played with the pigskin)

Oh lets not start that debate . After all Proper football (ya know, the one played with feet) is actually older than our country.

Happy 4th... hopefully no one does this with an M80

[Peter3hg]

All i know about the War of Independence is that someone had a big tea party...

[Blind_Io]

Well, let me help with that. Here's some of the things that happened to the signers of The Declaration of Independence after they signed.

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.
Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.
Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signedthe Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.
Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly.
He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished.

It's does give hope though, that after all our nations have been through, the UK and the US are some of the closest allies in the world.


To all my friends and aquantances in the UK - This 4th of July I will toast to our friendship and to many more years of cooperation.

Now if we could just get the President out of the White House we will be all set.

[Overheat]

whoa - what the hell is that image that no boss posted?

[Paddy]

Happy Independence day Fellow-breakers away from Great Britain !!

[Peter3hg]

Originally Posted by Cosworth

Happy Independence day Fellow-breakers away from Great Britain !!

You know we still own you all though secretly...
When the time comes all you Yanks will recieve this letter


NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "5hit". You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be refered to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2001) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation.

[Kebab gud]

just love the last point

[Roman]

Happy 4th guys !

Originally Posted by peter3hg2

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France

I dare you to make us US territory.

Wouldn't you like a frozen six months out of a year, French speaking Puerto Rico ?

[Dark_Templer_102]

Originally Posted by Blind_Io

"Ok, you have to wear bright red, march down the middle of the road, use short range inaccurate muskets, and can only fight when we face you on the feild. We get to wear green and brown, shoot at you from the tree line, aim for the officers and use our Kentucky long rifles with greater range and accuracy than your guns."

Actually a long time ago, those rifles were as accurate as shit, thus they had to fire in big columns to actually hit something Americans didn't get decent rifles till later, and the forest tactics learned from the Native Americans.

I feel bad that we give France so much shit but they helped us a lot.

Happy 4th of July!

[Ultra_Kool_Dude]

My English history prof said that the US was considered so provincial at the time of the independence that most English citizens didn't think it was worth it to invest resources to win it back (they were wrong).

Another thing most people don't realize is that the American "freedom" attitude is inherited from the English culture of the time. The English just screwed it up.

Wasn't the independence fought because of a 3% tax on some goods? Wow, what's just the income tax rate now?