Make them go away!

Ottobon · July 26th, 2007, 9:35 PM

Mormons wont stop coming to our house, and worst of all my dad is too "nice" to just tell them to go fuck off, we already have a religion for peat sakes, drop it already!

Now they keep coming to my door while im dancing around naked, i don't need that! im busy!

Karoug · July 26th, 2007, 10:20 PM

Invite them too!!

Kip_6666 · July 26th, 2007, 10:33 PM

Maybe they have something usefull to say!

http://www.phyrefile.com/pic/2007/07/26/1172409301129.jpg

poptya · July 26th, 2007, 10:42 PM

heres what you do:

Tell them you'd love to hear what they have to say, but that you are really busy, and ask if you can meet them at their house instead sometime. Obviously they'll agree since they think they will have a chance to preach to you. Once you get their address, show up at 4 in the morning and claim to be a door to door atheist.

Donington · July 26th, 2007, 10:46 PM

AK47, for when you absolutely, positively need to kill every motherf**ker in the room!

Or on the other hand, you should do what I, and everyone else does and say 'sorry, not interested' or 'sorry, I'm athiest' or 'sorry, my beliefs lie with the dark lord'

No Boss · July 26th, 2007, 10:59 PM

I forget the correct wording (it's different for Mormons and Jehovah's Idiots) but all you need to tell them is that you're "Disenfranchised" or "Disfellowshipped". It means you were once part of their religion and left, willingly or unwillingly.

Apparently, they keep lists and will never bother you again.

Adunaphel · July 26th, 2007, 11:02 PM

Or just invite them in after you've had a party the night before and hadn't had time to clean up. Jehovas are very strict against alcohol and drugs. My brother once did that after a party with lots of beer, weed and booze, with the remainders of it strewn around the house. We've never seen them since.

Slycer · July 26th, 2007, 11:07 PM

My dad once very "politely" escoted two religious freaks to the top of our street and not so politely told them to fuck off.

Ever since not a single one has come round.

Cobol74 · July 26th, 2007, 11:23 PM

Unwanted, uninvited, and annoying - I tell any sort of missionary that I give blood and before they can say anything I shut the door and do not re-open it.

thedguy · July 26th, 2007, 11:49 PM

Might I suggest you do the exact opposite to them, invite them in, and make them very uncomfortable but keep pushing that they stay.

The other option is to just denounce the Holy Ghost. It's the one sin, that no matter what, is unforgivable. It's a ticket straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200's.

Oh wait...nevermind, you already have religious beliefs, that could be a bad thing... just do #1. Atheists can do #2 if they like.

I think next time I'm gonna shout out the window "We will abort your children"

Quote:

Originally Posted by No Boss

I forget the correct wording (it's different for Mormons and Jehovah's Idiots) but all you need to tell them is that you're "Disenfranchised" or "Disfellowshipped". It means you were once part of their religion and left, willingly or unwillingly.

Apparently, they keep lists and will never bother you again.

Excommunication? That one is unwillingly... sort of.

jayhawk · July 27th, 2007, 12:23 AM

Go to the local hardware store and get a small plaque that says "no soliciting".

That's what I have on my door. Problem solved!

No Boss · July 27th, 2007, 1:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thedguy

Excommunication? That one is unwillingly... sort of.

That is unwillingly, but not the exact words these faiths use. "No Soliciting" sign is usually best.

/Or a 105lb German Shepherd.
//I use that one ^.

thedguy · July 27th, 2007, 1:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jayhawk

Go to the local hardware store and get a small plaque that says "no soliciting".

That's what I have on my door. Problem solved!

Yeah, but far less entertaining. I've known people to get bored and go try and find a couple of them and try and convince them to lose their faith (none of them have been successful though).

BlaRo · July 27th, 2007, 7:36 AM

Just keep dancing naked as you open the door. Talk to them with a straight face as you're gyrating about, and make sure you swing your legs around so they get the full effect.

cvrefugee · July 27th, 2007, 9:15 AM

My response will be very different from the others who have posted, principally because I'm a former Mormon missionary images/smilies/smile.gif

With that said, you need to understand that these guys are out there on their own dime, away from their family and friends, with the sole purpose of sharing knowledge with others. Now, I could easily tell the difference between somebody who was genuinely interested in our religion and those who were just being "nice" (like your dad). My suggestion would be to tell them that you're not interested in the moment and that if you ever become interested in the future that you'll look them up. Some missionaries are persistent and won't get the hint - for those types I'm not really sure what you can do, dance naked I guess? images/smilies/tongue.gif

Hercules286 · July 27th, 2007, 9:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cvg

Some missionaries are persistent and won't get the hint - for those types I'm not really sure what you can do, dance naked I guess? images/smilies/tongue.gif

Two words:

Cannibal.
Corpse.

vRS · July 27th, 2007, 5:38 PM

Just get a peephole and leave them knocking for hours at your door while you watch MLS football in the other room.

I wouldn't recommend that when the Police are at the door though.

Redliner · July 27th, 2007, 6:27 PM

I once answered the door to some Jehova's Witnesses. I was about 13-14 years old.
- Good morning. I would like to speak to the man of the house.
- You can talk to me.
- I'd rather talk to an adult.
- We don't have an hierarchy. We live on an anarchist organization and therefore all members share the importance and all decision are discussed.
- ...Eh....well...good morning. (walks away fast!)

IVIaster · July 27th, 2007, 6:32 PM

"Which god are you referring to?"

Paco · July 27th, 2007, 8:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IVIaster

"Which god are you referring to?"

none other than the lord Trent Reznor

July 26th, 2007, 10:33 PM	#3
Kip_6666 I Bought This Title :o Joined: May 17th, 2004 Last Online: Yesterday Location: The Netherlands Age: 23 Posts: 3,041 Car: Saab 9-3 2.0t @ stage 3 now & Saab Viggen Rep Power: 53	Maybe they have something usefull to say! __________________ http://www.internet-memes.com Now with 50% less database error My Flickr

July 26th, 2007, 10:59 PM	#6
No Boss Neener, neener, I banned your title! Joined: Oct 8th, 2005 Last Online: November 8th, 2009 Location: 'mericuh, someday the UK. Age: 24 Posts: 6,859 Car: 2005 Volvo S60 R Rep Power: 86	I forget the correct wording (it's different for Mormons and Jehovah's Idiots) but all you need to tell them is that you're "Disenfranchised" or "Disfellowshipped". It means you were once part of their religion and left, willingly or unwillingly. Apparently, they keep lists and will never bother you again. __________________

July 26th, 2007, 11:23 PM	#9
Cobol74 Joined: Mar 21st, 2006 Last Online: 10:50 AM Location: Southampton Posts: 8,592 Car: Vauxhall Zafira 1.9 TDI Slush box. Rep Power: 126	Unwanted, uninvited, and annoying - I tell any sort of missionary that I give blood and before they can say anything I shut the door and do not re-open it. __________________ Lotus 7 Registration Mark = KAR120C : Engine Number = 461034 TZ Ross Brawn genius or what?

July 27th, 2007, 12:23 AM	#11
jayhawk Cigar Smoking Man Joined: Dec 11th, 2005 Last Online: 7:01 PM Location: Aurora, IL. Age: 34 Posts: 6,474 Car: 07 Subaru WRX, 09 VW Tiguan. Rep Power: 234	Go to the local hardware store and get a small plaque that says "no soliciting". That's what I have on my door. Problem solved! __________________ Instead of attending the circus, I visit Autoblog to see the clowns comment instead.

July 27th, 2007, 7:36 AM	#14
BlaRo Lady GaGa's #1 Fan Joined: Aug 18th, 2005 Last Online: 6:52 AM Location: Assachusetts Age: 21 Posts: 11,256 Car: 1997 Yamaha Seca II, 1976 Honda CB550F Rep Power: 371	Just keep dancing naked as you open the door. Talk to them with a straight face as you're gyrating about, and make sure you swing your legs around so they get the full effect. __________________ "It is impossible to describe this kind of performance to the uninitiated. Telling a traffic officer or a safety crusader like Ralph Nader that 100 mph can be safe is like reading the Constitution to a Maoist; it is a strange and hostile concept." -Brock Yates. The body was accidentally unearthed from a shallow grave by construction workers. Because of Parkinson's.

July 26th, 2007, 9:35 PM	#1
Ottobon Banned Joined: Nov 27th, 2005 Last Online: May 27th, 2009 Location: Detriot Metro Area Posts: 3,313 Car: 2 Rust buckets and a confused 1999 American. Rep Power: 0	Make them go away! Mormons wont stop coming to our house, and worst of all my dad is too "nice" to just tell them to go fuck off, we already have a religion for peat sakes, drop it already! Now they keep coming to my door while im dancing around naked, i don't need that! im busy!

July 26th, 2007, 10:20 PM	#2
Karoug Joined: Apr 5th, 2006 Last Online: 7:33 PM Location: Sweden Age: 31 Posts: 3,920 Car: Volvo 745GLT! 2 bikes Rep Power: 120	Invite them too!! __________________ I support the formation of Koenigsaab.

July 26th, 2007, 10:42 PM	#4
poptya Joined: Dec 27th, 2006 Last Online: November 6th, 2009 Location: California Posts: 337 Rep Power: 15	heres what you do: Tell them you'd love to hear what they have to say, but that you are really busy, and ask if you can meet them at their house instead sometime. Obviously they'll agree since they think they will have a chance to preach to you. Once you get their address, show up at 4 in the morning and claim to be a door to door atheist.

July 26th, 2007, 10:46 PM	#5
Donington Joined: Jan 26th, 2007 Last Online: 6:31 AM Location: Now in Plymouth, Englandshire Age: 20 Posts: 4,263 Rep Power: 176	AK47, for when you absolutely, positively need to kill every motherf**ker in the room! Or on the other hand, you should do what I, and everyone else does and say 'sorry, not interested' or 'sorry, I'm athiest' or 'sorry, my beliefs lie with the dark lord'

July 26th, 2007, 11:02 PM	#7
Adunaphel Global Moderator Joined: Jan 18th, 2006 Last Online: 7:15 PM Location: [ˈneːdərlɑnt] Age: 29 Posts: 4,629 Car: 1990 Mercedes-Benz 190E (W201) Rep Power: 153	Or just invite them in after you've had a party the night before and hadn't had time to clean up. Jehovas are very strict against alcohol and drugs. My brother once did that after a party with lots of beer, weed and booze, with the remainders of it strewn around the house. We've never seen them since.

July 26th, 2007, 11:07 PM	#8
Slycer Joined: Jul 24th, 2006 Last Online: October 30th, 2009 Location: Slovenia Age: 23 Posts: 355 Rep Power: 19	My dad once very "politely" escoted two religious freaks to the top of our street and not so politely told them to fuck off. Ever since not a single one has come round.

July 27th, 2007, 9:15 AM	#15
cvrefugee Joined: Aug 16th, 2004 Last Online: 3:46 PM Location: Corona, CA Age: 29 Posts: 3,761 Car: 2005 Scion xB Rep Power: 86	My response will be very different from the others who have posted, principally because I'm a former Mormon missionary With that said, you need to understand that these guys are out there on their own dime, away from their family and friends, with the sole purpose of sharing knowledge with others. Now, I could easily tell the difference between somebody who was genuinely interested in our religion and those who were just being "nice" (like your dad). My suggestion would be to tell them that you're not interested in the moment and that if you ever become interested in the future that you'll look them up. Some missionaries are persistent and won't get the hint - for those types I'm not really sure what you can do, dance naked I guess?

July 27th, 2007, 5:38 PM	#17
vRS Joined: Nov 22nd, 2004 Last Online: November 11th, 2009 Location: Stirling, Scotland Age: 18 Posts: 1,832 Car: '02 Vauxhall Corsa SXi Rep Power: 35	Just get a peephole and leave them knocking for hours at your door while you watch MLS football in the other room. I wouldn't recommend that when the Police are at the door though.

July 27th, 2007, 6:27 PM	#18
Redliner Joined: May 19th, 2005 Last Online: 12:41 PM Location: Brazil - South America Age: 30 Posts: 5,283 Car: Fiat Palio 1.6 16v Rep Power: 114	I once answered the door to some Jehova's Witnesses. I was about 13-14 years old. - Good morning. I would like to speak to the man of the house. - You can talk to me. - I'd rather talk to an adult. - We don't have an hierarchy. We live on an anarchist organization and therefore all members share the importance and all decision are discussed. - ...Eh....well...good morning. (walks away fast!) __________________ God told me to give you candy.

July 27th, 2007, 6:32 PM	#19
IVIaster Not a dude. Joined: Dec 10th, 2005 Last Online: 1:51 PM Location: Finland Posts: 738 Car: 1990 Volvo 740 Rep Power: 17	"Which god are you referring to?"

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