My mate shaves his beard.

essentialatom · February 17th, 2008, 4:58 PM

My friend has had a full beard since he was 16. It proved beyond any shadow of a doubt his manliness, but yesterday he made the heart-wrenching decision to remove his person of all face fungus. Bear in mind that few of his friends had seen him without a full beard - certainly nobody he knows at university, and not too many from school either. He did it for a mask party he went to last night simply for the joke of wearing a papier maché beard and revealing a clean-shaven face to his unsuspecting friends. Which is awesome. Doing anything for the sake of a joke, even if it only amuses you, is a great way to live your life.

As we go to the same university, he came over to my halls so that I could supervise the operation. Of course, we couldn't just take it off at once. That would be a waste. If beards only have one purpose, it's to provide a canvas for amusing shapes on one's face.

Thus commences the delicate procedure of creating humour through hair:

Sam, plus beard. A good chunk of hair to get rid of.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-16.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-161.jpg

I'd like to make it clear that he used a ladies' razor. So what if he got it free somewhere? It's still woman apparatus. Tsk.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-168.jpg

The shaving begins.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-164.jpg

See! The Venus Divine in action. How poetic the image, a feminine device emasculating the male as he complies, wilfully giving up his Y chromosome... [/Freud]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-169.jpg

See how he cries! The male, realising his mistake, has no option but to complete the procedure. [/Freud again]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1610.jpg

Actually, he looks pretty good.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1611.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1612.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1613.jpg

The sculptor at work, forming his beard's next shape.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1614.jpg

Sexy.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1615.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1618.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1619.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1623.jpg

High five!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1624.jpg

The next shape was one I suggested. He didn't end up looking like the American-style trucker I'd imagined, though. The result was way cooler...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1625.jpg

... a sheriff!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1627.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1628.jpg

At first this moustache made him look like a dad (anyone's dad, really), but the addition of my glasses made him look like a Gumby (from Monty Python's Flying Circus).

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1629.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/GumbyBrainSpecialist-1.jpg

My brain hurts! My brain hurts!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1630.jpg

All of this nonsense, of course, was merely foreplay. What we were really in this for was...

The Hitler.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1632.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1634.jpg

He was scared to do the real salute because the curtains were open and people might have seen us. That would have been weird.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1635.jpg

He did a proper goosestep though.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1636.jpg

"One hundred... BILLION... dollars!"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1637.jpg

I don't want to tell you what we'd been doing just before I took this photo. Suffice it to say that we were both very relaxed.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/Essentialatom/SamShavingHisBeard2008-02-1638.jpg

avanti · February 17th, 2008, 5:07 PM

Excellent! I liked shape no. 2 the most images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Shawn · February 17th, 2008, 5:10 PM

This is a hilarious thread. I think so because I'm lazy and I shave on average about once every two weeks, and whenever I do and I have some time to mess around, I do different styles along the way. The Hitler is definitely the best, though I wouldn't go out with it. images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Jocó · February 17th, 2008, 5:26 PM

I always thought 16-year-old guys with a full beard look odd images/smilies/blink.gif

Shawn · February 17th, 2008, 5:52 PM

^ Not as odd as 16 year old girls with a full beard.

Trust me, I've seen them.

vikiradTG2007 · February 17th, 2008, 6:06 PM

^^^^^

I thought we were reserved the "privilege" of having face moss and shaving it off...

Steve Levin · February 17th, 2008, 6:26 PM

I alternate between beards and hair to nothing (right now, for example, my head is fully shaved).

It's hair...it grows back quickly (what I have left of it) images/smilies/smile.gif

But it can be shocking for some folks!

Steve

Crazyjeeper · February 17th, 2008, 6:46 PM

That second one makes him look like Duane Allman

http://www.speakfreeamerica.net/forum/uploads/monthly_08_2007/post-3-1186431603.gif

BlaRo · February 17th, 2008, 7:10 PM

Quote:

This is definitely the best look here. If I could grow facial hair I would rock this all the time. (Or a Fu Manchu, since being Asian means that my friends expect me to have one, of course.)

The Sheriff is badass, he'll look like the angry guy from American Chopper, meaning he has taste and style. And images/smilies/lmao.gif

at the Hitler! Nice goose step.

By the way, how old is your mate? He looks like he lost 5 years shaving that thing off.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawn

^ Not as odd as 16 year old girls with a full beard.

Trust me, I've seen them.

Pics or it didn't happen! images/smilies/yucky.gif

Shawn · February 17th, 2008, 7:13 PM

I don't have pictures of my experience, just look at Greta van Susteren. I'm sure she has a beard that she shaves before going on air.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlaRo

Pics or it didn't happen! images/smilies/yucky.gif

BlaRo · February 17th, 2008, 7:15 PM

^ Then again, I'm also sure she's a man and has a deeper voice than Bill O'Reilly. The miracles of post-production...

Final Daihatsu · February 17th, 2008, 7:36 PM

LOL nice one, I'd like to make jokes with my beard - but obviously I don't have one yet images/smilies/tongue.gif

(offtopic - 300th post images/smilies/mrgreen.gif

)

Blayde · February 17th, 2008, 7:50 PM

Hm, i seem to recall shaving as early as 16, but not as full as that. Or is he MUCH older than 16 atm?

essentialatom · February 17th, 2008, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlaRo

By the way, how old is your mate? He looks like he lost 5 years shaving that thing off.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blayde

Hm, i seem to recall shaving as early as 16, but not as full as that. Or is he MUCH older than 16 atm?

He's 19, but his beard was that full three years ago. It's quite weird to see him without it again.

Susie · February 17th, 2008, 11:59 PM

Looking much better without the beard, I think!

Viper007Bond · February 18th, 2008, 1:39 AM

I still can't grow a full fucking beard. images/smilies/dry.gif

But hey, at least it means I don't have to shave that often.

Shawn · February 18th, 2008, 1:47 AM

Don't ya know you need a driver's license before you can grow a beard? images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Quote:

Originally Posted by Viper007Bond

I still can't grow a full fucking beard. images/smilies/dry.gif

Blind_Io · February 18th, 2008, 5:40 AM

*grabs beard*

From my cold, dead chin!

(Blind_Io was slightly drunk when making this post, after consuming an excellent bottle of 2003 Sterling Vineyards Pinot Noir)

essentialatom · February 18th, 2008, 7:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Viper007Bond

I still can't grow a full fucking beard. images/smilies/dry.gif

But hey, at least it means I don't have to shave that often.

I'm stuck in between - I grow sideburns and hair under my chin really quickly but not on my face, so it just looks crap if I don't shave often. I wish I could grow a proper beard, it'd be so rad. Forget doing the Hitler for fun - I'd be bringing it back as a fashion accessory.

Susie · February 18th, 2008, 8:19 AM

Go for the soul patch? Those look decent on most fellas.

Or a chin strap.
However... Only about 1 in 100,000 men can wear a well-suited chin strap.

February 17th, 2008, 4:58 PM	#1
essentialatom Joined: Jun 29th, 2005 Last Online: 11:44 AM Location: Solihull / Warwick University Age: 21 Posts: 539 Car: None any more, my brother pranged it a bit... Rep Power: 21	My mate shaves his beard. My friend has had a full beard since he was 16. It proved beyond any shadow of a doubt his manliness, but yesterday he made the heart-wrenching decision to remove his person of all face fungus. Bear in mind that few of his friends had seen him without a full beard - certainly nobody he knows at university, and not too many from school either. He did it for a mask party he went to last night simply for the joke of wearing a papier maché beard and revealing a clean-shaven face to his unsuspecting friends. Which is awesome. Doing anything for the sake of a joke, even if it only amuses you, is a great way to live your life. As we go to the same university, he came over to my halls so that I could supervise the operation. Of course, we couldn't just take it off at once. That would be a waste. If beards only have one purpose, it's to provide a canvas for amusing shapes on one's face. Thus commences the delicate procedure of creating humour through hair: Sam, plus beard. A good chunk of hair to get rid of. I'd like to make it clear that he used a ladies' razor. So what if he got it free somewhere? It's still woman apparatus. Tsk. The shaving begins. See! The Venus Divine in action. How poetic the image, a feminine device emasculating the male as he complies, wilfully giving up his Y chromosome... [/Freud] See how he cries! The male, realising his mistake, has no option but to complete the procedure. [/Freud again] Actually, he looks pretty good. The sculptor at work, forming his beard's next shape. Sexy. High five! The next shape was one I suggested. He didn't end up looking like the American-style trucker I'd imagined, though. The result was way cooler... ... a sheriff! At first this moustache made him look like a dad (anyone's dad, really), but the addition of my glasses made him look like a Gumby (from Monty Python's Flying Circus). My brain hurts! My brain hurts! All of this nonsense, of course, was merely foreplay. What we were really in this for was... The Hitler. He was scared to do the real salute because the curtains were open and people might have seen us. That would have been weird. He did a proper goosestep though. "One hundred... BILLION... dollars!" I don't want to tell you what we'd been doing just before I took this photo. Suffice it to say that we were both very relaxed. __________________ Your Opinion Is Worthless - check it out! And to a lesser extent - A Payne in the Glass Last edited by essentialatom; February 18th, 2008 at 12:08 PM.

February 17th, 2008, 5:07 PM	#2
avanti Joined: Jul 22nd, 2005 Last Online: 11:02 AM Location: Milano, Italia Posts: 3,120 Car: 2 cars + 4 bikes Rep Power: 90	Excellent! I liked shape no. 2 the most __________________ \|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\| Ride, Eat, Sleep, Repeat.

February 17th, 2008, 5:26 PM	#4
Jocó Not A Dude Joined: Jan 5th, 2008 Last Online: 1:50 PM Location: Hungary Age: 20 Posts: 1,309 Rep Power: 28	I always thought 16-year-old guys with a full beard look odd __________________ Supporting Williams, Kubica and DC "Flavio would not recognise a diffuser even if it were stuffed with money." - Frank Williams

February 17th, 2008, 6:06 PM	#6
vikiradTG2007 Joined: Feb 8th, 2007 Last Online: 3:57 PM Location: Cluj-Napoca, Romania Age: 18 Posts: 6,601 Car: Ford Focus MkI 1.8D Rep Power: 98	^^^^^ I thought we were reserved the "privilege" of having face moss and shaving it off... __________________ "There's no damage to the car, except to the car itself." (Murray Walker, 1991 British GP) 1980s-1990s F1, Group C and Supertouring nostalgic. And I'm proud of that.

February 17th, 2008, 6:26 PM	#7
Steve Levin Master of Disaster Joined: Jun 7th, 2006 Last Online: 11:34 AM Location: Sunnyvale, California Posts: 1,071 Car: Spec Racer Ford! Rep Power: 51	I alternate between beards and hair to nothing (right now, for example, my head is fully shaved). It's hair...it grows back quickly (what I have left of it) But it can be shocking for some folks! Steve

February 17th, 2008, 5:10 PM	#3
Shawn Lexus? Oh shi- Joined: May 26th, 2005 Last Online: July 30th, 2009 Location: Vancouver, BC Age: 24 Posts: 11,026 Car: '07 Boring Poseur Mobile Rep Power: 134	This is a hilarious thread. I think so because I'm lazy and I shave on average about once every two weeks, and whenever I do and I have some time to mess around, I do different styles along the way. The Hitler is definitely the best, though I wouldn't go out with it.

February 17th, 2008, 5:52 PM	#5
Shawn Lexus? Oh shi- Joined: May 26th, 2005 Last Online: July 30th, 2009 Location: Vancouver, BC Age: 24 Posts: 11,026 Car: '07 Boring Poseur Mobile Rep Power: 134	^ Not as odd as 16 year old girls with a full beard. Trust me, I've seen them.

February 17th, 2008, 6:46 PM	#8
Crazyjeeper Joined: Nov 29th, 2006 Last Online: 2:17 PM Location: Dallas, Texas Age: 20 Posts: 5,119 Car: 1985 Jeep CJ7, 1997 Ford F150 Rep Power: 162	That second one makes him look like Duane Allman __________________

February 17th, 2008, 7:15 PM	#11
BlaRo Lady GaGa's #1 Fan Joined: Aug 18th, 2005 Last Online: 6:52 AM Location: Assachusetts Age: 21 Posts: 11,256 Car: 1997 Yamaha Seca II, 1976 Honda CB550F Rep Power: 371	^ Then again, I'm also sure she's a man and has a deeper voice than Bill O'Reilly. The miracles of post-production... __________________ "It is impossible to describe this kind of performance to the uninitiated. Telling a traffic officer or a safety crusader like Ralph Nader that 100 mph can be safe is like reading the Constitution to a Maoist; it is a strange and hostile concept." -Brock Yates. The body was accidentally unearthed from a shallow grave by construction workers. Because of Parkinson's.

February 17th, 2008, 7:50 PM	#13
Blayde Joined: Dec 20th, 2004 Last Online: Yesterday Location: Bahrain Posts: 2,376 Car: '02 Nissan X-Trail, '06 Honda Civic EXi Rep Power: 85	Hm, i seem to recall shaving as early as 16, but not as full as that. Or is he MUCH older than 16 atm? __________________ Crayon'd in MS Paint Some say he migrated when fuel hit 4 pounds per gallon and that he can make 'special price' for you. All we know is, he's the Stig's Arab cousin; Al-Stig!

February 17th, 2008, 11:59 PM	#15
Susie Not A Dude Joined: Jan 26th, 2008 Last Online: Yesterday Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 168 Rep Power: 17	Looking much better without the beard, I think!

February 18th, 2008, 1:39 AM	#16
Viper007Bond Lazy Head Dude Joined: Sep 21st, 2003 Last Online: 10:47 AM Location: Portland, Oregon Age: 25 Posts: 22,270 Car: Dodge Viper (I wish!) Rep Power: 296	I still can't grow a full fucking beard. But hey, at least it means I don't have to shave that often. __________________ There is no replacement for displacement. - Wolfgang Bernhard, Chief Operating Officer, Chrysler Group talking about the Dodge Viper SRT-10 ... I ask Herb Helbig, vehicle synthesis manager for SRT and a member of the original Team Viper development group since day one, if they'd ever thought of adding traction control. "It comes with two," he says, pointing at my feet. "Learn to use them." Got it. - Motor Trend on the 2006 Dodge Viper Coupe, November 2005

February 18th, 2008, 5:40 AM	#18
Blind_Io Dispenses buckshot medication for all undead patients. Joined: Apr 5th, 2006 Last Online: 12:35 AM Location: Utah, USA Age: 28 Posts: 10,993 Car: 2006 Nissan X-Terra - 2000 VFR800 Interceptor Rep Power: 266	grabs beard From my cold, dead chin! (Blind_Io was slightly drunk when making this post, after consuming an excellent bottle of 2003 Sterling Vineyards Pinot Noir) __________________ War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength

February 18th, 2008, 8:19 AM	#20
Susie Not A Dude Joined: Jan 26th, 2008 Last Online: Yesterday Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 168 Rep Power: 17	Go for the soul patch? Those look decent on most fellas. Or a chin strap. However... Only about 1 in 100,000 men can wear a well-suited chin strap.

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