This is was the first episode I've watched live on TV rather than downloading. I was brushing my dogs at for most of the hour. Unfortunately, picking the buzzies out of their feet was frankly more entertaining than what was on the 'box.
Seriously, that was bad. Really, really bad. I know I've been harsh critic of the series so far but for the past 2 episodes I've felt that things have been slowly improving, with only minor script issues and arm waving to really gripe about. Unfortunately they've let all that go to waste.
Let's see the checklist:
1. Charlie waving his arms like a migratory goose within 4 seconds of the start of the show? Check.
2. Bad in-studio script - overwritten, dodgy iteration, lame jokes? Check.
3. Utterly pointless challenge? Checkity check check check. Of all the things they could do in the Kimberlys, they race a guy on a horse doing 3kmh with two guys in a car with a coordinate-only GPS system which absolutely no-one uses in cars. Boring, stupid and pointless. Charlie knew it because he randomly did a few burnouts to avoid going into a stupor.
4. Boring star-in-car? Check. Jack Thompson may well be Australia's most prolific actor (though off the top of my head I can't place him in anything notable) but he's a fucking boring person to listen too. And his idea of automotive excellence is a Peugeot 505... says it all, really....
5. Useless track footage? Check.
6. Decidedly average car review? Check. The HSV W427 was nicely shot but the script/premise was pretty bad and to be honest I don't think Pizzati is all that good a driver, sliding off the road and taking out a marker then only being able to do a few doughnuts in what must be the most disgraceful bit of bogan pandering since... I don't know... Rossi boots or something. Then again the car looked all over the place on the track so maybe it wasn't his fault.
7. Utterly bored audience. My fianc? picked up on this one, actually. Towards the end there's a girl behind Charlie who looks like she's ready to take her own life.
The only bright spot was the bowls challenge. To be honest I had no idea how they were going play bowls with cars and was pleasantly surprised with what Warren had come up with. Shame SBS's budget only stretched to 2 water filled gym balls. The front lips getting pwned by the bottom of the ramp unnecessarily was a bit cringeworthy too. I'm sure Holden would agree.
At this stage I'm thinking it might be a good idea to put series 2's budget into genetic research and can get the UK boys cloned, so they can tag team production duties and ensure year-round TGUK.