Jalopnik: Coco's Big West Coast Road Trip (Because I Can)

ninjacoco

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Fine, we'll use the Jalopnik: prefix because it'll probably end up there, or elsewhere, or in Fluffy's big nasty pointy teeth. Yep.

My 10th year high school reunion is happening in Seattle. This seems like as good an excuse as any to drive across the country.

Other possible excuses:
  • Because I can
  • Because flying sucks (sorry, Nugget)
  • Because it's like Iron Butt for cars, I think
  • Because long distance use is the only thing within-stretched-reason I haven't really done in the Lulzcer yet
  • Because Theo Bunny needs to meet his namesake (my carpool from high school--guys, guys, we survived the Pontiac Grand Am)
  • Because someone's gotta poop on the Space Needle, and it probably won't be me
  • HI JOEL
Planned highlights:
  • Independence Pass (highest crossing of the Continental Divide; also really pretty)
  • Kikihaus!
  • Joelhaus!
  • Uh, yeah, there's a high school reunion in there.
  • Pacific Coast Highway...like, most of it. I'm going to fart in the ocean. Again.
  • Redwoods 'n' stuff.
  • Laguna Seca's not too far off the route, so we'll probably stop and drool a bit. It looks like we're getting there on a motorcycle day, though. No Lulzcer on track = sad times, bro. But we'll drool at it.
  • I NEED TO TELL CTS-V DRIVING SCHOOL GRADUATE BLAKE Z. RONG ABOUT MY PORSCHE RACECAR. (All caps, because PORSCHE RACECAR.)
  • My friend in Santa Monica has a Lotus. I might lick it.
  • Some states I haven't been through before on the return trip.
Right now, I'm in the process of writing a bunch of articles for extra ca--err, because I love you people so, so much, and fixing the Lulzcer up to deal with 5,065 miles of cross-country awesomesauce. I've got a bit of a rattle in the A/C and it needs new tires, a CVT service, an oil change and an alignment. Oh, and Fluffy's collar could use mending. NBD.

I'll be traveling with the boyfriend, who's way too used to sitting in passenger seats and yelling over an intercom. Some Puffalumps will come along to sit on things, too.

FAQ:
1. So, you're going to be out of town?
Not so fast. This is Texas. Housesitters are frequently armed, and you'll lose a testicle if you try it. That's right, I'll ask them to aim right for the nads. Nads bleed a lot. Also, they're full of nerves, so they hurt a lot.

2. No, really, why aren't you flying?
Because flying really sucks. I've seen that route from in the air, and meh. Been there, seen that--at night and during the day. None of the stops (if any) are all that fun. Also, I can't drive a plane. Screw that.

I've driven the route up there before with my parents, so I know that the Panhandle is dull and that's about it. The route back is completely new, though. The Southwest is completely new to me. I'm probably going to get bored, but whatever.

3. Why the Lulzcer?
What, you wanna give me a 911 or something? Because I'd be fine with that, too. The Lulzcer is what the Lulzcer usually is: here, running and available for shenanigans.

4. Dude, high school reunions are lame.
Yeah, well, that's just like, your opinion, man. I don't think you understand. I drive a Porsche racecar. It's even red. I don't even have to fake that a la Romy and Michelle. Also, ours is at a pub, so it should at least be better than our prom (or senior dance or whatever it was that we called it that was in some overcrowded building in Ballard).

If there was a way to sneak onto Pacific (I lived next to Kent and never drove this? TRAVESTY), I would. I checked, though--'tis a drag weekend.

5. OMG! You should do [stuff].
I'll consider it, as long as it's mostly legal and doesn't involve eating the brownies in CO, WA or CA.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If--for any reason--anyone feels like funding part of this questionable adventure, I usually blow all of my money on Porsche parts, but won't for this month. This link still works: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=JPTPJR9UY3N42

Anyway, look for updates sometime mid-next-month. I'm venturing into the lands of moisture. Annoying moisture. And cold. Well, for like, a day before leaving. Should be amusing.
 
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_HighVoltage_

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If you are going to be in Colorado, then you absolutely need to go up Mt. Evans - highest paved road in the U.S.





You may also encounter these funny things at the very top:


Colorado has a lot more to often, depending on which areas you plan to go through.
 

ninjacoco

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Oh, yeah--it's such a tight schedule that it'll have to be "fart, then leave," though.
 

_HighVoltage_

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It is just 15 miles off I-70, and then just go up the mountain. The journey will take 2-3 hours tops (when I was with the Volvo club, we would meet around 7:30-8am at Red Rocks, CO, or Denver, we would drive up and be down around 1pm for lunch)
 

BlaRo

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[*]I NEED TO TELL CTS-V DRIVING SCHOOL GRADUATE BLAKE Z. RONG ABOUT MY PORSCHE RACECAR. (All caps, because PORSCHE RACECAR.)
Who?!

Since you'll be merely passing through Pebble, I should be back in LA by the time you roll in. We should have a SoCal FG meetup in Santa Monica.
 

Cellos88GT

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ninjacoco

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It is just 15 miles off I-70, and then just go up the mountain. The journey will take 2-3 hours tops (when I was with the Volvo club, we would meet around 7:30-8am at Red Rocks, CO, or Denver, we would drive up and be down around 1pm for lunch)
Oh, yeah--way too long of a side trip. We're not on I-70 in CO for very long at all.
 

Nabster

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Sounds fun. If you should need to stop/stay in DFW on the way back for whatever reason my couch folds out into a decently comfortable queen sized bad.
 

Kiki

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ninjacoco

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I think I'm cutting across before DFW, but if I end up passing through, I'll have to ping you and say hi.

I think I might do a NASA event up at ECR with the 'lump this fall, too, so I'll be 'round.

HOORAY FOR PORSCHELUMP!
 

Shentar

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-Since you'll be on PCH and taking it towards Laguna Seca, you should detour a bit and hit up Alice's Restaurant: http://www.alicesrestaurant.com/ because cars n' stuff.

QFT. Alices is a fun drive too from 101 or from hwy 1 (take Pescadero Rd if from Hwy 1). Let me know when you are heading by Laguna. I've been meaning to go to Alices in the Cayman. I haven't been in forever.

North of SF on 101, take the full section of Avenue of the Giants. I had a blast on that road. Beautiful two-lane road that has a 55mph speed limit. I was taking it at 35 in the Cayman because thats what kinda of road it felt like it should be. Lots of twists, but with the speed limit in non-town bits being 55, you can really get some driving in.
 

ninjacoco

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QFT. Alices is a fun drive too from 101 or from hwy 1 (take Pescadero Rd if from Hwy 1). Let me know when you are heading by Laguna. I've been meaning to go to Alices in the Cayman. I haven't been in forever.

North of SF on 101, take the full section of Avenue of the Giants. I had a blast on that road. Beautiful two-lane road that has a 55mph speed limit. I was taking it at 35 in the Cayman because thats what kinda of road it felt like it should be. Lots of twists, but with the speed limit in non-town bits being 55, you can really get some driving in.
Whoa, that's a real place. (How'd I miss this post earlier?!)
So you're driving west to California and then north to Seattle? Sweet, stop by and say hi! Free Viper rides. :)

I did Portland to San Diego pretty much entirely via the coast and it was absolutely awesome. Especially northern California and Oregon. Map and photos: http://www.viper007bond.com/tag/san-diego-road-trip-2012/
Aw, man. I think we're going all the way around Portlandia. We're pretty much sticking to the coast, but please do bring your Viper over if you're bored so I can lick it. If I lick it, it's mine.

I need to plan to crash some PNW LeMons races.
 
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Viper007Bond

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Aw, man. I think we're going all the way around Portlandia. We're pretty much sticking to the coast, but please do bring your Viper over if you're bored soI can lick it. If I lick it, it's mine.
:lol:

I go to Manzanita, OR (basically straight west of Portland) all the time for the awesome burrito place they have there. I'd totally do the 90 minute drive out to come say hi and give you a ride if you want. :)
 

ninjacoco

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:lol:

I go to Manzanita, OR (basically straight west of Portland) all the time for the awesome burrito place they have there. I'd totally do the 90 minute drive out to come say hi and give you a ride if you want. :)
YES!

I'm all for burritos. This may be an opportune stop for lunch. We'll be passing through on a Sunday, so hooray nom!

We're actually making a big circle. Up through CO/UT, back down and over through CA and NM.
 
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Viper007Bond

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YES!

I'm all for burritos. This may be an opportune stop for lunch. We'll be passing through on a Sunday, so hooray nom!

We're actually making a big circle. Up through CO/UT, back down and over through CA and NM.
Perfect. They're closed Monday/Tuesday so Sunday will work great.

Do you know which Sunday yet?
 

ninjacoco

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This Sunday--8/17.

Burritos!
 
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