F---in' with telemarketers

Blind_Io

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I was tempted to put this in the Entertainment section because it's damn entertaining to me. As we speak my phone has been off the hook for nearly an hour, "why" I hear you ask. Simple, a telemarketer is on the other end.

Let me explain, because I find this bleedin' hilarious.

I was just sitting down to dinner when my land-line rings, now I've only had this about a week and I paid for an unlisted number, but somehow my number got out to telemarketers within hours. In fact, it was a call from a telemarketer that informed me my phone was turned on, they even beat the phone company to it. As soon as I had my number I registered it on the federal Do Not Call list, but it has to be there for 31 days before you can start making complaints.

Anyway, back to my phone. I pick it up and get an automated recording pitching me a new credit card, it informs me that I should push 9 to talk to an operator. Now I've already had a shitty day and this is just the release I'm looking for.. well, this and my now half-empty bottle of Merlot. I push 9 and wait. Sure enough a woman picks up and says "Card Services."

I inquire about what company this is with and am told that they "help their members get good rates with both Visa and MasterCard." Great, but what company am I speaking with? "Card Services." No, I would like to know what company you work for. "Why?" Well, my number is on the Do Not Call Registry and I plan to file a complaint. "No." Excuse me, 'No?' "Yeah, No." Look, I will just have my records released to the FTC, just because your number does not show up on caller ID does not mean the phone company doesn't know where it came from, now you could have a simple complaint on your hands or you could have a much bigger problem, it's up to you.

No answer. The line is active but the bitch isn't there. No problem, I could just hang up. But wait, I remember that most call centers don't let their employees hang up, only the customer can terminate the call. So I leave the phone off the hook. Most these monkeys are monitored for how many calls they take and how many suckers they reel in and that determines bonuses. This bitch isn't making a dime as long as my cordless phone battery has a single electron flowing.

Sure, I can't file a complaint because my line is too new, but I can exact some vigilante justice.

So while she is there making shit for calls and wrecking her averages, I am here posting this, listening to some great music, drinking a nice 2004 Merlot (a little sharp but the crystal glass and a little air fixed that) and enjoying all my worries flowing into that phone and becoming someone else's problem.

I may be a bastard, but, damnit, she had it coming.
 

Viper007Bond

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:lmao: They can't hang up? That's priceless. I'm so gonna do the same thing.

And are you sure she's still there on the other end?
 

Blind_Io

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Yes, the cordless is fully charged.

I don't have a wired phone, this is the only one. Until last week this was in a box and I had been using my cell for all my calls.

Yes, every 15 or 20 minutes I will hear a tiny voice from my desk as she tires to take another call, thinking I got bored. Once I picked up and said "hello?" and I heard the sound of her taking off her headset and throwing it on the desk. If she hung up my phone would be beeping at me to tell me I left it off the hook.
 

toma_alimosh

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they can't hang up ?? niiiice.
From now on, for any telemarketers I'll just tell them to hold ... and then I'd keep them holding onto that call.
 

Blind_Io

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Not all call centers are like that, sometimes they can hang up, but not often. Other times they can get a supervisor to terminate a call, but apparently not in this case.

Guess what? The timer on my phone does not go past 99:59. It starts over at 00:00 again.

And counting.:twisted:
 

Blind_Io

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Update:

apparently she got a supervisor to terminate the call (finally) so now she takes a call and since I have not hung up every other time she picks up the phone she gets my line.

I can do this all night
 

toma_alimosh

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Not all call centers are like that, sometimes they can hang up, but not often. Other times they can get a supervisor to terminate a call, but apparently not in this case.

Guess what? The timer on my phone does not go past 99:59. It starts over at 00:00 again.

And counting.:twisted:
That's why you appear to be interested and enthusiastic at the beginning, then go like: "ooups, somebody's at the door and I have to let them in, please hold, I'll be right back" :lmao: ... and they think they have a winner, so they keep holding, until they realize what you did ...then more time to get the supervisor to hang up the line ... etc, etc. etc.
 

Blind_Io

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CONCLUSION:

They finally were able to hang up on me after 126 minutes!
I kind of wish I had a number to call them back, but still, that's a new personal best!
 

Viper007Bond

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That's why you appear to be interested and enthusiastic at the beginning, then go like: "ooups, somebody's at the door and I have to let them in, please hold, I'll be right back" :lmao: ... and they think they have a winner, so they keep holding, until they realize what you did ...then more time to get the supervisor to hang up the line ... etc, etc. etc.
Yeah, that's what I woulda done. "Hi, can I speak to Mr. Smith please?" "Sure, hold on, I'll go get him." .... :lol:

CONCLUSION:

They finally were able to hang up on me after 126 minutes!
I kind of wish I had a number to call them back, but still, that's a new personal best!
Ahhh, well still, that's hilarious. :lmao:
 

BlaRo

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They finally were able to hang up on me after 126 minutes!
I kind of wish I had a number to call them back, but still, that's a new personal best!
I see a new Olympic sport in the making: Telemarketer Baiting! I'm gonna see if I can break that record, nobody calls our house anyway. Hopefully. :lol:
 

Viper007Bond

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I get 2-3 a day, but none of them are real people. They are all bots that call and then hangup once they get the machine (I don't bother picking up the phone anymore).

Then again, I got one the other day at 5 AM in the morning and it was a real person. I cussed that bitch out. :lol:
 

fbc

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:lmao: :lmao: :clap: Top work Blind_Io - and guess what trick I'm trying the next time a telemarkter calls...
 

Blind_Io

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OR you could've done that!
http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/5GSK7jC3ZGDdY3zKL

that guy is a genius in my books.
Yeah, one time I faked that an exgirlfriend had broken into my house to kill me. I dropped an atlas on the floor so sound like a shotgun blast and dropped the phone. I then made a bunch of gurgling noises and tried to dial 911 while the telemarketer was still on the line.

It was a dumb thing to do, but I was a lot younger then.

A friend put a soundfile from the Simpson's on his answering machine. It starts out with the tones of a misdialed number - we've all heard them right before "The number you have dialed is not in service. If you feel you reached this recording in error please dial the operator. Message four" Well, most telemarketing calls are dialed from computers and only when the phone is picked up by a person does it actually route the call to an operator. If you have ever experienced that short pause, that's the computer at work. Well, the computer hears those tones and thinks the number is out of service and removes the number from the database. He put the message on as a joke, but noticed that the telemarketing calls all but ceased within a week. I am going to look for an answering machine tomorrow and I'm going to do the same thing.
 
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