FinalGear Wacky Races - The Race for the Quest for the Winter Cup for the Thing

vikiradTG2007

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It's that time again, folks... which number is it again? Never mind, there's a new FinalGear Wacky Race looming on the horizon! Dust off your old warhorses, or get yourselves a new and improved racer, gather your teams around yourselves, fit those studded tires and all the wintery upgrades you can come across, because this one's going to be icy, cold, slippery and snowy, as it's going to take place on the week before Christmas.

This thread is for registration of your entry to this Wacky Race. Any 4-wheeled vehicle, real or imaginary, no tank treads or wings used for the purpose of flying though. :) Otherwise, unlike some racing series out there, you can fit anything you want to these beasts... let your mind roam free and your imagination be your guide.

A reminder of the rules before everything though:

Original rules said:
-You have to participate in order to finish.
-You cannot be pissed off if someone blows you up, runs you off the road, etc. Remember, this is a silly race, if you get blown up, you can....I dunno, chant a spell and fix your car and be off again. Be creative.
-You cannot turn the thread into a flame war. Nobody wants that.
-NO IMAGES CAN BE POSTED. Everything has to be done using your imagination.
-Have fun, and be creative and funny in your posts.

Race start = December 18th, 14:00 GMT.

Okay, let's get cracking!

EDIT: Expect the race thread to be created in the Game Forum.
 
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Ooh. Good timing. Term time ends on the 16th.

I think I should start fresh with a new team.

And so begins...

The Story of Meerkat Manor​

benten-manor.jpg

Ooooooooh.
 
I like how you keep the spirit of it alive. Good on you and everyone who participates! :)
 
Fantastic, time to start preparing. :D

Edit: Woot, 7k.
 
Dammit, my backstory isn't finished!

Oh well, I can manage...

Anyway...

The average Christmas day at DSEnterprises. The complex is decorated for the holidays, and generally, there is a happy mood throughout, also helped due to an early present in the form of a raise, enable via an increase in profits. Despite this, the employees remain hard at work at their respective jobs. In the DSRacing wing, Clay and James discuss the plans for our next vehicle, while the air is filled with the angry buzz from Jessie's recently purchased, modified HPI Baja, as shi bombs it around the construction lot for an upcoming expansion.

Clay: So, if I'm hearing you correctly, we should be able to shoehorn a cooling system for the main guns between the battery packs.

James: That's right. The downside is that the extra heat may soak into the batteries, but some extra cooling vents here *quickly scribbles a note on the blueprints* should help keep them nice and cool.

Clay: Think we can fit them in, within the next few days?

James: We built a racer out of an Actros, twice, in a matter of days, so...

Clay: Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't worry. By the way, did you source the bullets we need?

James: Yep, .50 BMG, coming from various army bases, and directly from the manufacturer by the truckload.

Clay: Excellent. Speaking of which, I managed to borrow some M16A4s for you and I, and a pair of M249s for Jessie.

James: Actually, don't we have our own design? Why'd we stop using it?

Clay: A slight tendency to send the bolt into the user's face if assembled wrong...

James: Oh yeah. That. It wasn't pretty seeing that...

Clay: You forgot? I still can't get the images out of my head. *Shudders* Ooh, anyway...

James: Also, have you had the feeling that you're being watched the past few days?

Clay: ...what?

James: It's weird. It feels like it's completely alien, and yet, it's almost like it's, well, me watching myself...

Clay: ...

James: Yeah, I've arranged a visit with a psychiatrist to try and explain it. To be honest, it's bloody scary...
 
Since it's tradition to post images up to the race day, ShotHouse Racing have something they would like you all to see...

 
The APRacing MP4-25 has been put to pasture, by crashing it into a tree in a rally shakedown session; Kimi had fun doing that, he was a bit drunk. The preparation for this race has been somewhat rushed but I am proud to present to the general public the car we will be competing in:
https://pic.armedcats.net/t/to/topgearfanatic/2010/12/04/mercedes-benz-600-pullman-limousine-64-61705.jpg
We got it for a great price of $34.50 from a lovely Egyptian man who we befriended, he promised a special price for us. Hiding under the bonnet is the Mercedes-Benz FO 108X 2.4 L V8 that was taken out of the MP4-25 in favor of the V10 we used. We've bored the engine out to 3L and added a supercharger, the car now hauls ass! We've hired another driver to take turns in driving. We will release the name of this driver in the coming days.
 
(*Sigh* 3am start? Oh well...I'll try and finish this time)

*Phone Rings*

Hello?

Is this Richmondgal?

Yes it is indeed. Who is this that I am speaking to?

You might remember me from March 2009.

Erm, I've seen a lot of people since then, so maybe not.

Does Wacky Races 2009 give you a hint?

Um, yeah. But I saw a lot of people there. A lot of crap was happening at the time. I'm sorry, but I need to know who I'm speaking to, because I have a lot of paperwork going on-

-It's not human.

......Freddie?

*Zoom in Face, Fade to black*
 
Unfortunately, I found out that the W202 I'd been banned from ever, ever borrowing EVER again...has been sold. :( Now there's a Pathfinder I'm barred from borrowing, and that's just no fun. You know my luck with Nissans...

...which is why I'll be using the Failtima as bait. Mwahahahaha! Eat my 2.5 liters of barely-running dust!

It's payback time, Polished Turd. Nobody could seem to get rid of it, so I offered 'em twelve cents and a piece of lint that was at the bottom of my purse. It limped off the lot...barely.

It's a lemon too expensive for LeMons. I'm not fixing it up, either. I'm sending it out there to die.

Whoever hits it, shoots it, or otherwise destroys it is a winner in my book. Happy destruction!

Just don't kill me. I ripped the impenetrable bouncyshield off the Merc before I snuck it back in its owner's driveway returned it, but I set the range to be around just...me. Not the car itself. I'm just here to make tire squealy noises and break a broken Failtima. Bombs awaaaaay!

I'll be busy much of the 18th with graduation, but it's not like this was ever a competitive car in, um, anything except suckage.
 
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Somewhere in the Kalahari...

Kalahari-Makgadikgadi-Pic1.jpg


The dust had settled. The finish line stood still behind them. Crowds of meerkats and mongooses alike, of rhinos and chimps, of leopards and gazelles, cheered and jeered, whooped and hallooed. For Dmitri and his team, the sense of elation was overwhelming. They had been going for 24hrs. They had just won the inaugural Wacky Race Afrika.

kalahari.jpg

Dmitri was with his team at the factory to celebrate. A complex network of tunnels and dugouts, it was hard to believe that there was enough room to pop a champagne bottle here, let alone fit an entire car in. Yet they did. Not just champagne either; there were streamers and balloons, crackers and fireworks.

Wait. Fireworks indoors?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Sergei!" said a mad, Bohemian voice. "We have some more mechanics!"

At first, Dmitri thought it was the team boss.

But then, he opened his eyes.

It was all a dream.

He looked up. The ceiling was tiled.

He looked straight. There was a fellow meerkat prancing around with mad Einstein hair and goofy glasses. He had never seen hair like that on a meerkat before, not in real life nor on National Geographic. He thought it must have been a wig.

He looked down. He realised that he was tied to an operating table. He was too tired to panic.

He looked to his sides. There were other meerkats, all looking drowsy, all tied to operating tables just like him.

The mad Einstein-haired meerkat was preparing to make an announcement in his mad Bohemian voice.

"Friends," he said. "Welcome to Meerkat Manor!"

(CUE THEME MUSIC)
 
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What? Does this mean i need to put on some pants again?
 
Now that Kimi has tracked down the bastard who stole his fridge and beaten him up he has bolted it securely in the car this time and filled it with every booze under the sun.
 
Clay: The engineers and I went over James' proposed modifications. It'll take some work, but we think we can incorporate them without too much trouble.

Jessie: Excellent. What about the armored racing suits? Did you manage to convince the boys working on it to actually try and develop it?

Clay: Yep.

Jessie: How so?

*Flashback!*

--This morning--

*The head engineer of the project and I are discussing the feasibility of armored racing suits. Meanwhile, Clay is busy overclocking a pair of Intel Xeon processors with liquid nitrogen*

Engineer: I'm sorry, but we cannot develop the racing suits you specified, without compromising.

Me: Compromising on what?

Engineer: Weight, comfort, protection, and other details.

Me: We have three furries on our payroll, one of whom is a cyborg, size-shifting, chimeric monster... You won't mention that to Jessie, right, Clay?

Clay: Shi's heard it enough times, so no.

Engineer: But...

Me: Anyway, we are not bound by things like physics, limits, and even reality. So what makes you think that we can't develop a racing suit that can stop bullets?

Engineer: Uh... I...

Me: Is it because you don't want to do it?

Vagineer: ... *HWAIMAMOO!!!*

Me: So you'd rather risk being fired than at least try to work on it?

Engineer: I just think that putting our resources towards armored racing overalls just isn't worth the effort, and would be better used on the vehicle itself...

Clay: Alright, I've had enough. *Gets up holding a thermos full of liquid nitrogen* Here's what I propose: either you actually work on it... *pins the engineer to the table, holding the thermos above his face* ...or you find out how liquid nitrogen tastes.

Engineer: You wouldn't!

Clay: *Tilts thermos*

Engineer: No.

Clay: *Tilts it some more*

Engineer: I-I... I won't...

Clay: *tilts it even more*

Engineer: Alright! Alright! I'll do it! I'll do it! Just don't hurt me!

Clay: So we can expect genuine progress in the next few days?

Engineer: YES!!!

*Clay releases the engineer, and calmly pours the liquid nitrogen into the CPU evaporator*

*Present time*

Jessie: So other than the suits, we should be set by the time of the race.

Clay: Pretty much.

*enter James*

Clay: Oh hai, you're back!

Jessie: So, what did the shrink say?

James: Nothing that was of any help. In fact, those feeling has actually gotten worse throughout the day.

Jessie: Really?

James: Yeah...

Clay: Okay, now this is getting weird. *Ponders* Think one of the other teams is doing it?

James: It sounds impossible, but knowing the other teams, I wouldn't doubt it.

Jessie: I can poke around, see if they have anything that could do something like that.

Clay: We can do that tomorrow.

*Suddenly, there is a blue flash in the room, and a blue aura spreads throughout the complex. When it dissipates, Clay, Jessie, and James are gone. At the same time, four enormous bangs and seismic tremors are felt outside. Alarms go off throughout the building, and the guards stream throughout the complex as panic sets in.*

Me: What the hell?!

Guard 1: *Over the radio* Sir, we need you outside, west gate, immediately!

*I grab my coat and fight my way through the crowd, accompanied by a pair of guards*

Me: What is it?! What do you need me for.

Guard 1: You wouldn't believe me if I told you, sir.

Me: Try me.

Guard 2: Sir, Employees A103, B232, and M117 are missing!

Me: What? Where are they?

Guard 3: We're looking for them, but we've seen no signs of them.

Me: How do you lose track of a size-shifting dracoserval? Not to mention a half-human cat and raccoon?

Guard 2: Sir, we have no records of them leaving the conference room, and no other forms of exit. It's almost as though they vanished.

Me: Well, keep searching, dammit!

*Outside, a large crowd has formed. I fight my way to the front. Then I see it*

Me: Oh my gawd...

To be continued

Painis Cupcake: I AM PAINIS CUPCAKE. I WILL EAT YOU. : D
 
ShotHouse Racing Blog said:
We are proud to announce that the co-driver for this race will be ?The Walem?. Known only by this name it is a secretive creature usually only found swimming in Nigerian waters or propping up a bar in the Midlands, the sea creature will now be strapped into Shothouse Racing?s Ford Mustang. Offers to rig up hose pipes to keep the creature wet were refused but as he seems to spend most of his time in pubs we assume he?ll be alright. His smoking habit may cause problems though.
 
Scotty Mcduckduck: I'm sorry? But what just happened?

Richmondgal: Freddie is alive. Did you turn him on again?

Scotty Mcduckduck: No. I couldn't. We left him on the Pirate Ship when we changed HQ. (HQ is now in a warehouse, just outside Melbourne.)

Richmondgal: Captain Thincrackers must've pawned him off or something to get it back on.

Scotty: What did he have to say?

Richmondgal: He wants a drive.

Scotty: What? He ain't taking my spot! And he's certainly not takings yours for sure. Is he? You didn't

*nods*

Scotty: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Richmondgal: The bot's programmed to race like Jenson Button. Subtle and smart.

Scotty: Jesus.

Richmondgal: And there's another thing. You know the Monaro?

Scotty: The one that got trashed yeah what about it?

Richmondgal: It regenerated.

Scotty:...

Richmondgal:...
 
Picking up from yesterday... (Hello, wall of text)

Me: What the hell?!

Guard 1: *Over the radio* Sir, we need you outside, west gate, immediately!

*I grab my coat and fight my way through the crowd, accompanied by a pair of guards*

Me: What is it?! What do you need me for.

Guard 1: You wouldn't believe me if I told you, sir.

Me: Try me.

Guard 2: Sir, Employees A103, B232, and M117 are missing!

Me: What? Where are they?

Guard 3: We're looking for them, but we've seen no signs of them.

Me: How do you lose track of a size-shifting dracoserval? Not to mention a half-human cat and raccoon?

Guard 2: Sir, we have no records of them leaving the conference room, and no other forms of exit. It's almost as though they vanished.

Me: Well, keep searching, dammit!

*Outside, a large crowd has formed. I fight my way to the front. Then I see it*

Me: Oh my gawd...

*"It" happens to be a pile of three giant, humanoid, all matte-black robotic-looking... things, and one slightly smaller giant anthropomorphic creature. "Creature" in that it is of no terrestrial species, but vaguely resembles a squirrel, only with a longer tail, and larger eyes and ears. The lot appear to have lost unconsciousness, but are beginning to wake up. Understandably, the crowd begins to back up, to get a bit of a head start if need be. One of the robotic giants slowly rolls onto it's side. Then it's set of cameras, three per eye socket, and glowing red, lock onto the crowd, and it stiffens for a second, as if in surprise, and at a loss for how to respond.*

Me: Oh, shit. It sees us.

*The giant then springs to its feet, with agility seemingly impossible for something its size. It stand on digitigrade feet, each adorned with two massive metallic talons. Heavy armor covers its body, and a pair of jet thrusters (at least, what appear to be thrusters) mounted on its back, in conjunction with additional small thrusters on its limbs. Its tail is tipped with a enormous metal blade.

What truly worries the crowd, and sends some of them fleeing, is that it is also carrying a same-scale assault rifle and sidearm, as well as a sizeable sword, and the cannon on its left shoulder. And yet, its keeping them pointed away from the crowd, and even keeping its finger off the trigger. It stands perfectly still, silently staring at the crowd amassed before it. Analyzing, deciding if they're friends or foes?*

Me: C- call the army, tell them... tell them to-

Guard 4: One of the guards already did. They're preparing reinforcements.

Me: Good. Tell the PR people to stall the news. Don't tell them anything until we are ready.

Guard 3: They're still going to broadcast this across the planet.

Me: I know. We can't do anything about that. Just find them, and tell them what to do.

Guard 3: Sir. *runs off to find the PR team*

*The sole non-robotic giant opens its eyes, which, I note, are a pale blue-green, with no visible iris. It, too, seems shocked, as it also tenses up once it sees the crowd. Then it whispers to the standing robot. Of course, everybody hears it, but nobody understands it. The language is harsh, guttural in tone, despite the admittedly rather pleasant female tone, and of no known equivalent. It is also very much fearful. So they're afraid of us. The comment must have been directed at the robot, as it responds in the same language, this time delivered in a low mechanical growl. Then one of the TeleAwesome technicians finds me.*

Teleguy: Sir, I think they're speaking the same language from one of the recordings.

Me: Are you serious?

Teleguy: *Gives me a "Why are you asking such a stupid question?" expression* Do you want me to gather the data.

Me: Yes. Do it. Quickly.

*The smaller giant eases to its feet. Like the robot, it stands on digitigrade feet. It comes only to about mid-torso compared to the robot. Surprisingly, it is dressed in what appears to be something equivalent to a uniform, with a coat vaguely resembling a trenchcoat, only black with a gold stitched pattern on the front, with what appears to be an identification patch on the left forearm. The creature also possess a female figure.

The two remaining robots behind her finally wake up. The first has no visible armor on it, instead possessing a full-body skinsuit, with what appears to be artificial muscle underneath it. It has a similar face to the first, only with one camera per eye socket. Notably, it is the fastest to get to its feet. It is also a head shorter than the first. The other towers over the three, with the tallest only reaching mid thigh. Its body is heavily armored, to the point were the first appears somewhat insubstantial in comparison. A complex system of hydraulic rams bridge each joint. Like the first, it possesses similar jet thrusters, but larger in scale. It also carries a massive rifle, almost as long as it is tall, connected by a thick cable leading to its back, in conjunction with a similar shoulder cannon. Despite myself, I have to chuckle a bit at the combat knife mounted to its upper right chest. It seems quite pitiful in comparison to the massive gun. The two both speak in the same distorted growl as the first.

With all four fully awake, the two groups stand in their spots, both quietly analyzing the others. The first of the news crews have arrived, hurriedly setting up their equipment. Finally, a guard arrives with a megaphone for me."

Me: Hello? Down here!

*All four look down at the small creature waving frantically at them. Cue stomach tightening.*

Me: Uh, hello! We mean you no harm. We are friendly!

*They each look at each other, obviously not comprehending me. They also seem to be formulating their own plan to try and communicate with us. They appear to elect the non-robotic giant to try and communicate. She does, attempting to greet us in a friendly tone, also her obvious nervousness still shows. It does not work, given we also cannot understand her, and send some more employees fleeing. I can faintly hear the news reporter describing "the first conversation with an alien species!" Yeah, as if a few simple sentences the other cannot understand is a conversation. The giant seems to agree, as it whispers something to the other, in a tone that is unmistakeably to the effect of "It's not working."

The four converse again, as though formulating another strategy. For a while, it seems to go nowhere, but then the first robot seems to come up with an agreeable solution. The non-robot turns to us, shrinking all the while, much to our surprise. This does not stop until she is about equal height with me, if only an inch or two taller.*

Me: I- Wo- Cou- *pause for a deep breath* Uh, would you follow me, please? (Tries to gesture the same.)

*She seems to understand, and follows me to the front of the building. From the loud rumblings and the screams, the other three have decided to follow*

Me: "You... uh..."

Guard 5: "Sergeant Wright, sir"

Me: "Sergeant Wright, go to the research wing, and grab four of project DS0964. Take one of the researchers with you. They'll know which ones."

Sergeant Wright: "Sir." (Runs off.)

--The main lounge--

*It is me, the creature, and two armed guards. She has been searched for any weapons, turning up two semi-automatic pistols. We chose the lounge, an intentionally inviting room, to try and keep her from getting too nervous. As the researchers are struggling to find project DS0964. I take the time to quickly observe the creature. Of note, I can see two gray crystals bonded to her skin, on both sides of her neck. In addition, a plug for some type of computer has been grafted into the right side of her neck. It's hard to tell if shes following my moves, though I suspect she is. I try to make it clear to her that she is in no danger. She seems to understand, but I can't tell if she does. Finally, Sgt. Wright returns with a researcher.*

Sgt. Wright: Sir! We've got 'em!

Me: Excellent. Give me one.

*With the new device, I turn to the creature. I try to demonstrate that it is inserted into the ear, which she seems to understand. I hand it to her, and she proceeds to do so, until it attempts to work its way into her ear canal. She desperately tries to get it out.*

Me: Hold her! Don't let her get it out!

*The guards rush forward and pin her. A combination of screams and animal-like sounds fills the room, until the device settles into place, at which point, she stops struggling, her face blank. The guards keep her held down, while I approach her*

Me: Can you understand me now?

Her: Wh- Yes, I- how...

*Suddenly, very loud, electronically distorted shouting is heard from outside. They saw that? In a room in the center of the building? Crap. How are we going to get out of this.*

Me: It's a translator! I'll explain later, IF your robot friends don't destroy me!

Her: Robots?! They are not robots!

*More shouting. It sounds as though they are ordering me to do something.*

Me: Never-mind that! What are they saying?!

Her: They are ordering you to release me, and to surrender to them! If you do not, they will kill you!

Me: Can't you do something?! Call them off? Anything?!

Her: Let me meet them first! It will be better if I explain it to them!

Me: Alright, you two! Guide her to the lobby, then call me when she says I can come out! I'll hide somewhere!

*They begin what sounds like a countdown*

Her: Hiding is not as effective as you think! They know where we...

Me: Just go!

*They rush out, while I curl up into a ball and pray for the Flying Spaghetti Monster to protect me.*

To be continued, again
 
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Yeah, yeah, doublepost, but I can't sleep (2AM as I start typing) and I need to finish this exposition so I can get to actual wacky racy-type things.

Anyway, in another stupidly long post...

*The (not?) robotic giants continue their countdown of death as I spend my last few minutes crying in the lounge. Meanwhile, their now normal-sized female compatriot and the guards accompanying her attempt to find the main lobby to difuse the situation.*

Her: Which hall?!

Guard: Left, then straight on!

*I can tell the giants are reaching the end of their countdown. Please FSM, let her reach them in time. I tense for bullets the size of cars to tear through the building.

Pushing the glass door aside, the creature stumbles out of the main entrance, desperately waving and shouting. They stop counting down. I can't hear her, but I can certainly hear them, though I cannot tell them apart. From the sound of their voices, they must be talking with her. I still stay curled up in a ball, just in case they decide to go ahead and fire anyway, not that it would protect me any better.

A few tense moments pass. The conversation stops. I prefer that they continued talking.

Then my radio crackles into life.*

Sgt. Wright: Come in, sir. You may come out now.

*Breathing the biggest possible sigh of relief, I make my way to the front entrance. Then my mind begins coming up with it's own theories. What if they want to shoot me in plain sight, as an example? Or worse. I've dealt with Jessie, and the only thing tempering hir behavior at hir larger scales was that shi knew and liked me. Push hir enough, and the end result is hellish. I know I can't count on the same here, except for the latter.

I make a point of keeping my hands raised as I exit the building. Let them know I am not a threat, and am coming out peacefully. Would they accept that? Even though I don't look up, I can feel them tracking me, three sets of red cameras locked onto my comparatively minuscule person. The creature motions for me to stand beside her. I pick up the pace slightly, desperate to get near any potential source of protection.

The first giant barks an order at me. I guess that they are using the creature as a translator.*

Her: They want you to look at them.

*She gives a slight upward gesture. I follow the order. If they weren't intimidating before, they certainly are now. I imagine that whoever designed their appearance never imagined their appearance would be so terrifying at this vantage point. Then again, even Clay, normally someone you would almost never flee from, is quite scary when he towers over you. (April Fools joke. Jessie's idea.) The giant gives another order.*

Her: He wants a name, government position, and the name of this... land, I believe?

*Hoo boy, concepts that are probably foreign to them. This is going well*

Me: My name is Daniel Strowe. I am not a member of the government. I merely own this company. This country-I believe that's the term you want-is the United States of America?

*Another exchange, though there is an interminable pause until they answer*

Her: They are confused by you stating that you own this company, and not the government.

Me: Why would they...

Her: Our government has at least partial ownership of all major industries.

*Ah. That explains it.*

Me: Oh. In many, but not all countries, separate or multiple individuals can form and own their own business, such as ours. However, in some countries, the government does have ownership of at least some specific industries.

*Another relay*

Her: They want to know why you had your soldiers-

Me: Guards. They're guards. Technically, they are soldiers, but they do not belong to us. We simply borrow their services from the military.

Her: -why your guards attacked me.

Me: We panicked. Under normal circumstances, we would be far more gentle.

Her: Why not now?

Me: We don't usually deal with four size-shifting giants suddenly appearing. We normally deal with one, who was introduced to us by a trusted employee.

*More conversing*

Her: They want to meet this... other giant.

Me: Shi has disappeared, along with two others, roughly around the time you appeared. We are trying to find them. Believe me, you would have met hir already.

*again*

Her: I tried to tell them that you are not violent. Usually.

Me: *nervously* Eheh.

Her: I feel that this situation does not lend itself well to a peaceful agreement. I suggested that we continue under more... comfortable conditions?

Me: Less intimidating, you mean? You're right, though. If they can shrink down to roughly your height, we can continue this conversation inside. *To the news crews preparing to move base* In PRIVATE.

Her: They can.

Me: Good.

*After another conversation, the giants shrink down. I note that they elect to keep their heights proportional to the creature. Not what I had in mind, but still. The five of us file into the main lobby.*

Me: *To the guards* Block the windows. I don't want the news crews watching this until we're ready.

*The first robot gives one more order*

Her: They want to know how the translators work before they use them.

Me: It would probably be easier if they put them in before I explain. Make it easier for the both of us.

*yep, what do you think*

Her: They would rather not risk any potential adverse effects until they are familiar with these devices.

Me: Can't they analyze these things for any incompatibilities beforehand?

Her: As I told you before, they are not robots.

Me: Sorry. Either way, even with the translator, you're struggling with some of our phrases. I think explaining it in more technical terms would be needlessly difficult for you to translate.

*Blablabla*

Her: They have concerns about potential health effects.

Me: Look at you. You're wearing one.

*Final conversation of the post*

Her: They say that you have some valid points.
 
Inside veloceINDUSTRIE's secret lair entrenched deep in the Swiss Alps, construction work is being carried out on this years Wacky Races car, a 1966 Jaguar XJ13 LeMans prototype plucked straight from the company's private collection of automobiles. Meanwhile, upstairs in the boardroom....

Me: Ladies, Gentlemen, I have called you here this evening to present our vehicle and plans for this event, Ms. Croft, when you are ready.

Lara: The car selected for this race is a 1966 Jaguar XJ13, a fine automobile but an archaic one at that, in addition to the usual refinements made by our technicians to upgrade the car to a race ready specification I have secured an artifact from Andaman sea, the legendary hammer Mjollnir, believed to be used by the Norse god Thor and deemed powerful enough to level mountains. It is a dangerous weapon no doubt but one we will use to our advantage. At this point in time, our plan is simple, aim for first and demolish anyone who dares get in our way.

Me: Any que-

*BOOM*

An explosion rips through the boardroom sending shrapnel everywhere and leaving only Lara and I as survivors

Me: Jesus Christ! What the hell was that?

Lara: (Pointing toward body with detonator) We've been compromised

Me: Alert the other headquarters and evacuate the building, we have a full security breach, we're not as safe as we thought.

Lara: Oh bloody hell...

Me: What?

As pretty as the view usually is from the panoramic glass window of veloceINDSTURIE, this time the beauty of the mountains was no match for the view of a hundred helicopter gunships creeping ever closer.

Me: Go! Split up, we'll be harder to follow, meet me back in London! I'll take the car!

I madly rush down the stairs and jump into the car, exiting the garage to the sight of mass gunfire. It was do or die. Whether I'd make it out alive this time would be all down to how these few seconds play out.
Just a quick note, I need somebody to be behind the attack, so if anyone wouldn't mind playing villain, it would be greatly appreciated.
 
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