FinalGear Wacky Races - The Race for the Quest for the Winter Cup for the Thing

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Dear FinalGear Wacky Race Teams,

In light of the upcoming race and the opening of our new facilities, veloceINDUSTRIE cordially invites you all to celebrate.

Time/Date: 9PM till late, 16th of November 2010

Location: veloceRACING HQ - London
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Yeh...I have a lot of free time

Edit: I probably won't be in the running much, or at all, the finish is around 2AM for me. and I'll probably out for much of the weekend.
 
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SCUDERIA STATUS REPORT: Testing of the Elantra has continued, and it seems to have good performance for a $20/day deal. at our new, advanced test track, the Pflugervillering, an (almost, somewhat, not quite) exact replica of the famed Nurburgring in Germany, the Elantra set a time of 2:30.6. However we don't know if this is good as we haven't actually driven another car around the track. Afterwards, we took the car to the cow pasture that's supposed to be a formula 1 track in two years to test the AWD system and the Hyundai's off road capabilities. It seemed to do rather well until a crucial bolt fell off and the right front wheel fell off. We still don't know where it is. Meanwhile we tried to start the Ferrari engine, but it didn't work and promptly exploded. Fortunately, we got 3 turbos and bolted them to the Hyundai's 2.0 liter engine. Our engine is now producing 420 horsepower, which has caused catastrophic understeer, we're trying to work out the problem before the race begins. More information and updates later.
 
LeMans GTR said:
Yeh...I have a lot of free time

Edit: I probably won't be in the running much, or at all, the finish is around 2AM for me. and I'll probably out for much of the weekend.
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Katstein has given up on blowing things up for the moment, and would like to attend your fancy, stylish party. However, the security guard won't let him in because he is wearing no pants, despite after he tried to explain that meerkats don't wear pants.

Therefore, Meerkat Manor Motorsport has decided to wage war on Team Failtima for Karoug's pants.
 
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APRacing is proud to announce a special sponsorship deal with a very great company, Izhmash, the main producer of the AK-47 and several other guns. They have equipped our car with the latest and greatest in firearms technology.

We have made rigorous weight reduction to the car and stiffened the chassis to perfect the handling and cornering speeds.

Further announcements coming soon.
 
To veloceRACING!

Team Blaskyrkh has accepted your invitation.
We shall also perform our national anthem as you requested!
 
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Fact: Female and hermaphrodite Fela'hari have fur-lined pouches. (To keep newly born (furless) cubs warm)

Fact: The area inside said pouch is quite ticklish. They will know something is in there.

Fact: Alien!Jessie does not like perverts crawling into hir pouch when shi falls asleep at a larger-than-normal size.

Fact: Alien!Jessie is growing to be just as violent as Original!Jessie.

Fact: Original!Jessie also didn't have a zero-point energy augmented battle hammer, designed for either blunt force trauma, or piercing and tearing the armor of tanks.

Fact: Perverted test engineers can do a three minute mile if running for their life.

In other news, DSRacing is in the process of designing the first 1:1 scale outrigger racing boat for an attempt at the water speed record. Details will be revealed, well, next race. If it happens...

In car news, we have fitted a second steering wheel so both driver and co-driver can alternate.

Also, we are finishing up the first robotic Heavy Support troop, according to plans provided to us by Jessie. Muahaha...
 
In veloceRACING's car park....

Lewis: "Told you it would work even after we put it on the boat."

Alan: "That's not the point! You know how I feel about dock workers."

Lewis: "Are you still scarred? Never mind, we're late. I hear singing, that means half the booze is probably gone..."

The two jump out of the taxi, which still looked remarkably like a taxi, despite the heavy armaments and massaged powertrain. Lewis reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. Eyeing the array of controls, he finally settled on the blue toggle switch and flipped it. A bunch of banana peels fell out of the bumper and onto the floor.

Alan: "I told you not to use the blue one!"
 
Well the party is in full swing here a veloceINDUSTRIE and everything was going swimmingly. Or at least, it was until Perez Hilton walks in.

Perez: OMFG, look there's Keira Knightley, omfgawd omg look she's so fat, brradurg DERP! (more gossipy crap)

Me: *walks past him towards guards holding Katstein* Guards, let him in and get rid of the Gossip blogger

Guards: Understood

*guards approach Perez with a camera furiously snapping away*

Guards: Sir, the other guests are complaining about your behavior, we're going to have to ask you to leave

Perez: NO! NO! NO! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I REFUSE! (sits down on floor, and pouts)

*guards drag him kicking and screaming out of the party*

Anna Wintour: Who is that sad little person?

REUTERS (London)

Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton was found dead earlier this morning outside a party held at veloceINDUSTRIE's new facilities in London. No one cares about him however and we at Reuters have jumped for joy as one who brings shame to our profession has finally been defeated. In other news, Justin Bieber was repeatedly refused entry after multiple disguises and was eventually tranquilized and thrown in the River Thames. Eventually, too many dumb celebrities showed up so a second party was opened for their amusement. It consisted of a boom box in a shed somewhere in New Jersey.
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^Maybe we can temporarily put our differences beside us for the common good...

*Veloces' little shed held the worst of Hollywood, keeping them entertained via a simple boombox plugged into the wall, and a few bottles of cheap wine. Despite this, the cast of Jersey Shore continued to fist pump like champs. Everyone else began to wonder what was going on. Suddenly, the roof was violently ripped off of the shed, bathing the occupants in sudden sunlight. And two very large, ominous shadows.*

Jessie: *Suited up, and peeking into the shed with a devilish grin* Hello...

*Standing opposite of hir is an also armored Clay, arms crossed, and an evil smirk

No one gave a shit about the carnage.

Well, no one important...*

Now back to being enemies!
 
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LeMans GTR said:
*snip*
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I'm presuming you're calling Perez Hilton "him" deliberately :lmao:

Anyways, MMM would like to propose a peace agreement with Team Failtima, as Karoug's pants are no longer needed.

In other news, updates to the Exelero now mean it goes very fast. We're not exactly sure how fast, as the only two biological employees left in the team aren't really picky.
 
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PaperBiro said:
I'm presuming you're calling Perez Hilton "him" deliberately :lmao:
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eh? I was referring to this colossal douche bag.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perez_Hilton

..or the joke has gone wayy over my head

Anyway @American TG Man back to being enemies, first step, Destroy your building!

[video=youtube;KN-SPK4PB3k]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN-SPK4PB3k&feature=related[/video]
 
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Preparations continue on the Elantra as the race starts tonight. We hope have everything finished on the car by 4 PM. After realizing the car can't handle with all 3 turbos going, we decided to put in a control for the turbos, which should solve the understeer issue. Also, the Stig seems to have grown fond of old country music. Oh dear. A warning to any other team: don't be surprised if your car gets burnt to a crisp by an angry Subaru owner.
 
LeMans GTR said:
eh? I was referring to this colossal douche bag.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perez_Hilton

..or the joke has gone wayy over my head
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All this time, I thought that Perez Hilton and Paris Hilton were the same person.

https://pic.armedcats.net/n/na/narf/2010/06/14/facepalm.jpg
(If you're reading this narf, your picture is second result for "facepalm" on Google Images!)
 
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Finally, my engine's back from Roush.
*open crate*
Hmm...This supercharger may prevent the hood from closing...
Screw it, we'll run without one.
 
The final test has been concluded, everything is working perfectly especially the bounce function who shall crush all opponents. The Bvwall has also been fitted with some of the old weaponry from the tricycle. It shall also come a long as a backup..
 
Oh bugger, we missed the veloceRACING HQ opening party. From past experience with poisonings that's probably not such a bad thing. The car is all prepped for the race tomorrow, CarelessAir are sending a chopper over to pick it up first thing in the morning and fly it to the start line. The Walem will be catching the bus, he has his favourite booze with him and nobody ever asks him to buy a ticket. See you all at the start line.

Oh and one last thing, ShotHouse Racing would like to wish a merry Christmas/happy holidays to all participants. Look, we've even got you all a card:
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We at APRacing are finally ready to announce our driver line up. We have retained everyone's favorite ice cool Finn Kimi and welcome another world class driver to our team and family, the Scottish terrier himself, Allan McNish. He and Kimi have been shaking down the car for the past week at a secret test track just off of Rte 495, north of Wareham.
 
Careless air have just dropped off the car, now all that has to be done is fuel up the car, and the Walem.
 
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