Clarkson: If Audi = Cock then.....? The Global Car Stereotypes Thread

MattD1zzl3

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The Camaro in the US is the E30/Golf MK II of america, for better and for worse.
 

Polly

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So to sum this so far very informative threads up:

People drive cars. Cocks drive expensive cars.
 

MattD1zzl3

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I dont think porsches are driven by cocks, and i dont think owning a boxter marks you as a failure.

How is a better built more expensive MR2 a bad car in any way?

I Think BMW's are generic cars, they may corner like they are on rails and be the closest thing to driving perfection, but they all look either hideous, or like my 90's toyota. BORRRRING!


Audi? Four wheel drive performance cars dont do a thing for me, right up from a bare bones WRX to a Bugatti Veyron. They also have a bit of the toyota look about them, with a weird grill and a curved roof.
 

Vislami

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I think that all hot-hatch drivers atleast in Finland think they are really cool but I think they really aren't
And teen boys driving BMW's think they're though and good drivers, and of course, COCKS.
Still the older German saloon drivers aren't so cocky as people think.
 

Chupacabras

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Out here BMW can be a cocks car, but more often than not it is the manager of a estate agency or someone like that; the biggest cocks around here seem to drive Dodge trucks...

(I am not anti pickup - it's just I seem to be nearly killed by a Dodge driver every couple weeks.. ITS NOT A SPORTS CAR, STOP DRIVING IT LIKE IT IS)
 

tupolevrocker

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The situation in Singapore
First I would like to write that German automobiles are extremely popular here. Mercedes and BMW can be seen every where. If you are rich you buy a Mercedes S Class W221 and W220. Prices start from SGD $288 000 or roughly Euro 144 000 for an entry level S 300. S Classes are driven by respectable Chinese businessmen, the sort who has a family and stable business, usually merchants. Same thing for the BMW 7 Series. Recently there was a craze for the S Class, just before the financial turmoil and as a result, they are practically everywhere. The really rich ones usually get the S 500. S 600 are really rare.

Those who are able to afford the S 600 or 7 Series equivalent buy a Bentley.

If you are from the middle income bracket, you buy an E Class. E Class drivers are regarded as haughty but still polite on the roads because they are seen as being unable to afford an S Class. 5 Series drivers are mostly cocks.

If you are not that rich you get a Mercedes C Class. only people who rev really hard and do not give way drive a 335 convertible.

Audi drivers are considered mild here, rarely seen but never aggressive.

Subaru Imprezza STI and Mitsubishi EVO drivers are big cocks who are simply unable to afford a Ferrari. They drive recklessly, fast and risky, often endangering the lives of many.

Ferrari and Lamborghinis used to be a frequent sight before the collapse of the economy. Slowly disappearing. Drivers of such vehicles are usually humble, seldom revving high although the occasional young man do tend to rev really high. Mainly driven by rich Chinese businessmen and their sons.

Toyota, Nissan and Honda are driven by practical people who just want to get around.
 

dragonboy3000

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An Australian motoring stereotype is that all HSVs, FPVs and any Holden or Ford with a massive V8 engine are driven by hoons, which really is just another word for a cock.
Therefore the Vauxhall VXR8 orginially the HSV Clubsport is possibly a cock's car.
 

Model 944

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I think most 'cock' cars are called so pretty unfairly. Before Clarkson calling the Audi the 'Cock Car of 2008' it was always Porsche this, Porsche that.

I think the real cars that most assholes buy are Lambos and Ferraris. They're loud both visually (often red or yellow to add some) and soundwise, they're very expensive, they're uncomfortable -- they're really pure status symbols. The biggest cocks are the ones driving these through a city centre and revving their engine whenever they can. You can barely get over any 'sleeping policemen' with them, much less get out of them for fear of having the shit keyed out of your doors.

Porsches and Audis on the other hand, while are also fast and recognizable and expensive, are actually comfortable vehicles that are useful in day to day lives. You can drive them on almost any road, you can buy things and have somewhere to put them, and you can leave them somewhere and return and still have a recognizable car.

They're for reasonable people, really.

But the biggest cocks, are the Prius drivers. As Jay Leno put it, something like 'In America we love to show everyone the good we're doing anonymously'.
 
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katwalk

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Volkswagen Beetle drivers tend to be annoying women who get mouthy on a night out. 'I'm mad me, I'll do anything, me'. They always name the car as well; usually 'Otto'.
Volkswagen Beetle drivers all have mental dysfunctions. This is going by the fact the entire NewBeetle.org site consists of them. All bug drivers also have messed up senses of humor, if they didn't why the fuck would they buy one anyway :lol: Also we are all part of a secret club and we are all friends with each other.
 

public

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I think that all hot-hatch drivers atleast in Finland think they are really cool but I think they really aren't
And teen boys driving BMW's think they're though and good drivers, and of course, COCKS.
Still the older German saloon drivers aren't so cocky as people think.
Plenty of cocky Volvo drivers on our roads..
 

DODGEARIESGUY

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If your like me and want to be K-Kool and not shout about it buy a K-Car. Around here the cockyest drivers drive Ford F-150's and Chevy 1500's almost die in a K-Car, pickup accident every day going to school LOL!
 

rx7_ted

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i noticed no one has said anything about nissan so far, maybe a few cars which happen to be nissan, but never nissans in general..

so what's the verdict guys?
 

il est myron

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Lexi. It's plural.
Do people seriously say Lexi or Lexii? It makes you sound like, well, a bit of a cock.

rx7_ted said:
i noticed no one has said anything about nissan so far, maybe a few cars which happen to be nissan, but never nissans in general..

so what's the verdict guys?
Old people, boring people, hoons, college girls... Also, RX-7s are driven by those who enjoy spending more time fixing the damn thing than driving it.

Anyway, here in Australia, people driving cars with Southern Cross stickers on the back window are almost certainly racist, bigoted assholes. I doubt they could even find the Southern Cross in the sky.
 

DarthBane22

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unfortuneately for me, i live in the South of the US so we have overcompensating douchebags with pickup trucks with way too much chrome, 8 inch suspension lift. 35 inch mud tires and loud as shit exhaust. and every single one of them is driven by a complete f**king tool. we also have mexicans with 17 year old hondas with coffee can exhausts and a giant wing on the back. And to top it all off, we have all the country blacks with 20 year old chevy caprices with giant 33'' rims and and stupid decals all over the car. god its awful.
 

AarheadC

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unfortuneately for me, i live in the South of the US so we have overcompensating douchebags with pickup trucks with way too much chrome, 8 inch suspension lift. 35 inch mud tires and loud as shit exhaust. and every single one of them is driven by a complete f**king tool. we also have mexicans with 17 year old hondas with coffee can exhausts and a giant wing on the back. And to top it all off, we have all the country blacks with 20 year old chevy caprices with giant 33'' rims and and stupid decals all over the car. god its awful.
That's about right from my experience from the south (norhern Florida)
 

MarxOutThere

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"Cock" cars are usually the one just off your bumper.
Saying they're Audi or BMW, just menas that the sort of person who looks out onto the world as just being in-their-way, usually shop forthe German sporty but austier models.

Drivers who consistantly use their paddle-shifts in city/built up traffic instead of ful auto mode are cocks. I mean if you want to manually change gear all the time, get the real thing.
Quivvering at 'lauch control' might be a dead givaway too.
Upset at the hassel of taking the car back to the dealer for a blown tail light might be another givaway.



Oh: Porsches, definately. Everytime. Even the old ones.
 

Sossy

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In Australia, all Hummer H3's are driven by Jockular Waterfront Property Developers


(Warning: May have been a gross exaggeration and unfair generalisation)
 

melbournian

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In the area where I live, SLKs and Boxsters usually have a middle aged platinum blonde leather faced pucker mouthed Brighton Mum in the driver's seat. Young Asian people drive Subarus or Mitsubishis with simply enormous spoilers, or if their parents are really rich like most of my friends, BMWs and Minis (sadly, I do not fit the stereotype of Asian with fabulously rich parents). Asian parents drive Lexi, BMWs and Mercs but nothing too sporty or flashy - although that being said my mum drives a Honda Odyssey. Engineers drive Falcons or Commodores (aka Falcodores). Every single one of my girlfriends who has a car owns a small Japanese hatchback. Original Beetles are driven by vegan females who don't shave their armpits. And I've never met a motorcycle rider who hasn't lost his licence.
 
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