Clarkson: If Audi = Cock then.....? The Global Car Stereotypes Thread

settler

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Older BMWs are driven by cocks, but if someone buys new it means he don't want to be Merc driver.

Mercedes - middle aged men (or older) who are (or think they are) businessmen. And they are always overweight. So that is why Jezza likes Mercs. ;)

VW Golf mk2 - ultra cock who want a car and can't afford even a very old BMW.

Opel Calibra - cocks who think they have sports car, but with smallest engine and LPG installation there are slower then normal Focus.

Honda (especially Jazz) - old people who now it wouldn't brake even with their driving style.

Skoda Fabia - if old person can't afford Honda Jazz or don't want to spend that much money they buy small Skoda.

SUVs - rich cocks. Everyone must have SUV or two. So that's why in Poland there is a lot of Cayenes and Boxters, Caymans and 911s are quite rare. These are bought by people who like cars and Cayenes are bought by cocks who even can't drive them.
 

Hiro11

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Here in Chicago:

1. Giant American SUVs are typically driven by Christian moms who put those stickers with "cute" representations of each member of their family on them. Their husbands are typically lawyers. These people are generally fat, friendly and have never lived (and rarely been) anywhere more than 50 miles from where they were born.

2. Euro hatches like the GTI, Mini and C30 are driven by wanna-be hipster dads who enjoy Vampire Weekend, read Pitchfork Media and own Macs. They are typically advertizing executives.

3. PT Cruisers and HHRs are uniquely driven by blithering idiots. Usually, it's a fat guy with a goatee. They are generally plastered with giant stickers from some professional sports team.

4. People who actually earn a good living drive Toyota Corollas. A doctor making half a million a year will drive a Corolla.

5. Hyundais and Kias are driven either by gay men or poor people, although this is changing.

6. Porsches are driven by middle-aged men who need Viagra. Irritating assholes, generally.

7. Luxury SUVs like the MDX, QX56, LX470 etc are driven by 40 year old mothers who were hot in high school, married stock brokers, wear giant $300 sunglasses and play tennis/ do yoga. You generally don't want to know these people.

8. Nobody around here owns a pick-up unless they need it for work. Pick-ups are not cool around here.

9. Mustangs and Challengers are driven by 50-something year olds who want it to be high school circa 1976 again. Very, very few young men drive retro-muscle.

11. Subarus are driven by people who I generally like.

12. 3 series BMWs and 4-series Audis are driven by young, cocky Indian guys. 5-series Beemers and A6s are driven by real estate agents. Established executives drive S-class Mercs and 7 series BMWs.

13. IT workers and accountants drive TSXs and G35s.

14. Everyone else drives Honda Accords or Toyota Camrys. You can't really generalize these cars...

15. Nobody drives Saabs, Volvos other than an XC90 or C30, Pontiacs, Buicks or Lincolns. These cars are rarer than hen's teeth.
 
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Heathrow

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^ great post Hiro

London motorway news: Golf GTIs with 25 year old males driving are dangerous fuckwits. :mad:
[Rant]
Every time I am on a motorway and see one joining by the on-ramp, I can guarantee that they will have broken at least three traffic laws within 30 seconds.
Favourites include:
? Undertaking
? Using the hard shoulder to undertake
? Speeding
? Tailgating
? Cutting people up​
[/Rant]

Better now, thanks.:)
 

Hemily

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In Norway...

Ford Granada, Ford Sierra and old Volvo's, you're one of those people who drive in circles around one block, loud stereo, a whole forest of Wonderbaum in the mirror, and 14 year old girls in the back seat, usually drunk.

Volvo V70, young couple starting a family, or a leased car.

BMW, kids that just got their drivers license, and could afford something better than a Volvo 240, then they drive around like cocks racing everything, then crashin into a tree and making the insurance on them even higher.

Mercedes, the most annoying people you ever meet on the road, the ones that think they own the road, just cause there's a star on their hood, usually cutting you off in traffic.

old USDM cars, usually what the swedes call a "Raggare" it's the swedish version of the Volvo 240 drivers :p

i'm trying to break the Buick stereotype, by making my wagon a bit quicker :p
 

Shawnw

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Audi, BMW and Mercedes- Not many new ones around, nobody wants to drive 100's of kms to the nearest dealer for a service. Those driving them actually seem to be decent enough even if too attached to there cell phones.

Pickups- Can be broken down into subcategories:

Jacked up new Fords, Chevys, Dodges- The I went and worked in the oil sands for a year or two and spent all my money on this truck so I can blind any non lifted vehicle and look cool despite being useless in the mud with my street tires.

Old lifted trucks- redneck, or wannabe redneck. Found either in the mobile home park or falling down houses in the country.

White ford crewcabs wth steel boxes- Big company loggers

White, terribly rusty old Ford crewcabs- Independant or small company loggers.

Suvs- Well to do Soccer/Hockey mom that won't think twice about cutting you off, flipping you off and then turning down the next road just so her kids make it to practice on time.

Subarus- Either the usual stereotype, lesbian couple in a Forester. Or the brand new outback model owned by people wating to look outdoorsy and active. Or the older, beat to hell, covered in bike and ski racks wagons which actually get used to its potencial.

Ladas- yes we have Ladas here, in fact we still have a former dealership that specializes in Ladas. Usually owned by 40ish men who have been working in the woods since they (possibly) finished high scool.

Hondas and Toyotas- typically owned by people who see there cars as appliances and driving as a chore.

Air cooled VW's- most in very nice shape are owned by older people that have a second car to drive in the winter, nice people in general.

Beaters- Seem to be very normal, owned by everyone from poor students to people that realize they don't need to spend $30,000+ to drive 20mins to work during the week. Usually the fenders, rockers and trunk/hatch are rusting away really well and at least half have dented up hoods and bumpers from the constant deers hits on the highway.
 

fwa2500

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Here in Chicago:

1. Giant American SUVs are typically driven by Christian moms who put those stickers with "cute" representations of each member of their family on them. Their husbands are typically lawyers. These people are generally fat, friendly and have never lived (and rarely been) anywhere more than 50 miles from where they were born.

2. Euro hatches like the GTI, Mini and C30 are driven by wanna-be hipster dads who enjoy Vampire Weekend, read Pitchfork Media and own Macs. They are typically advertizing executives.

3. PT Cruisers and HHRs are uniquely driven by blithering idiots. Usually, it's a fat guy with a goatee. They are generally plastered with giant stickers from some professional sports team.

4. People who actually earn a good living drive Toyota Corollas. A doctor making half a million a year will drive a Corolla.

5. Hyundais and Kias are driven either by gay men or poor people, although this is changing.

6. Porsches are driven by middle-aged men who need Viagra. Irritating assholes, generally.

7. Luxury SUVs like the MDX, QX56, LX470 etc are driven by 40 year old mothers who were hot in high school, married stock brokers, wear giant $300 sunglasses and play tennis/ do yoga. You generally don't want to know these people.

8. Nobody around here owns a pick-up unless they need it for work. Pick-ups are not cool around here.

9. Mustangs and Challengers are driven by 50-something year olds who want it to be high school circa 1976 again. Very, very few young men drive retro-muscle.

11. Subarus are driven by people who I generally like.

12. 3 series BMWs and 4-series Audis are driven by young, cocky Indian guys. 5-series Beemers and A6s are driven by real estate agents. Established executives drive S-class Mercs and 7 series BMWs.

13. IT workers and accountants drive TSXs and G35s.

14. Everyone else drives Honda Accords or Toyota Camrys. You can't really generalize these cars...

15. Nobody drives Saabs, Volvos other than an XC90 or C30, Pontiacs, Buicks or Lincolns. These cars are rarer than hen's teeth.
That applies down here around Cincinnati too, though there are Saabs....

16. Saabs are mostly driven by college or high school faculty that are usually in the architecture, history or fine-arts department, or the children of those faculty.
 
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_HighVoltage_

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I can do 2 - one for Bulgaria and one for West Virginia. I'll start with Bulgaria:

1. VW Golf Mk2/Mk3 - the ultimate tuning machine. Almost every kid buys one of these and does something hideous to it to make it look like a racing car.
2. BMW E34/E36 - the uber-ultimate tuning machines. For kids with a little more money. Very popular among ghetto "drift teams".
3. Audi A8 - exclusively driven by the local mafia.
4. Small Peugeots and Citroens - driven mainly by young people with a certain sense of style. Nice people.
5. Alfa Romeos - not very popular. Have become slightly popular in recent years because Top Gear said they are very cool.
6. BMW X6 - the new fashion accessory. They are everywhere. (it seems like that all the Q7s have disappeared though, I guess they traded them in)
7. There are not a lot of japanese cars because of the import taxes in the past. Most common japanese car is the Civic and it's always tuned.
8. Dacia Logan/Sandero - driven by stupid people, who only wanted a brand new car, no matter how bad it is. (Having driven one I can say it - it's really bad!)
 

Chemfreak

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From "Altrincham ... a footballer's wife suburb of Cheshire"



IF Audi = Cock

Hummer = sorry love, I'm sure I had genitals at some point in my life... usually seen in petrol stations
Rangerover sport, Cayenne, XC90 = blending in on the school run
BMW X5 = idiot
BMW X3, toyota Rav4 = certifiable idiot
Nissan Murano, Lexus RX = drug dealers.
BMW-(all except 1 series), Merc (all except A class) = 3 1/2 inches from my bumper in the outside lane of the motorway and still signalling right whilst flashing their lights. Just because you are doing "errm... outside lane of motorway speeds" They share a lot of the hallmarks of cocks, but seem to calm down in town driving. Unlike Mr. Audi driver.
BMW 1 series = see Audi
Mazdas = nice people, good drivers
Jazz, panda, corsa, fiesta ....most superminis = either old driver or first car
Aygo = girls aged 17-19 only
Hot hatches = chavs/boyracers/mummy's boys with daddy's wallet
Mini = estate agent
Smart (all) = hairdressers
Toyota prius = amusingly known amongst hot hat owners as a free source of petrol. "well they have a battery to get to the petrol station don't they?"
Volvo= good drivers or classical musicians (but never both)

I'll update if I think of any more
CF
 
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Heathrow

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In Holland:

Opel: farmer
Merc: farmer
BMW: farmer
VW (especially the Golf 3 & 4): farmer
Peugeot: farmer

Oh wait, that's only in the village were I lived. :D
Made me laugh out loud.:lol:

.. and what about IRL?
 

devil500

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I'm from Poland but for a few years now i've lived in states, so i can give u an insight in to both countries...

Poland

Black Bmws, especially the previous generation and jeeps grand cherokees also strictly in black are almost always driven by gangsters/mobsters/thieves
So true. :p
 

AussieDaz

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In the area where I live, SLKs and Boxsters usually have a middle aged platinum blonde leather faced pucker mouthed Brighton Mum in the driver's seat. Young Asian people drive Subarus or Mitsubishis with simply enormous spoilers, or if their parents are really rich like most of my friends, BMWs and Minis (sadly, I do not fit the stereotype of Asian with fabulously rich parents). Asian parents drive Lexi, BMWs and Mercs but nothing too sporty or flashy - although that being said my mum drives a Honda Odyssey. Engineers drive Falcons or Commodores (aka Falcodores). Every single one of my girlfriends who has a car owns a small Japanese hatchback. Original Beetles are driven by vegan females who don't shave their armpits. And I've never met a motorcycle rider who hasn't lost his licence.

So true! But you forgot to mention that older Commodoor's are driven by total wankers with southern cross stickers plastered across the back window!

Unfortunately I cop a bit of shit for driving an MX-5, apparently it makes me a bit of a hair dresser....

...The guy in the Audio RS5 didn't think so however, when he finally caught up to me at a red light after a run through the Dandenongs :)
 

Sossy

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Never be ashamed of driving an MX5.. fantastic cars. Every round-a-bout is a bundle of fun. Would totally have one if I wasn't 6'4.
 

Mark355

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A lot of stereotypes, some of which are either exaggerated or just nonsense. For example, I live in the northeast U.S. and BMWs are everywhere. 99% of them are boring ass 3-series piloted by women and never in my life have I seen one driven recklessly or "cock-like." The BMW myth is bullshit here, probably because BMWs aren't a big deal so owners don't feel the need to draw attention to themselves.

Prius/Insight/Hybird-whatever - Loser.
Buick/Lincoln - Old, slow, bewildered beyond speeds of most four-legged animals.
Pick-up truck with Nascar sticker - Yokel, not particularly bright.
SRT-4 - Scum.
Late 90s Acura/Lexus sedan with 150k on clock and tint - Drug dealer.
Mistubishi Eclipse - Retard.
Jeep Cherokee - young girl, works at Old Navy/Gap/American Eagle.
350Z - Young professional, ego, thinks it's a Veyron
Pontiac Solstice - MILF mobile.
Range Rover - Jersey guido trash.

These are the only trends I consistently see. Everything else is up in the air.
 

Sir Roger Moore

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When I lived in Loughborough, Leics I once saw a smart car with quad (what I call) rice-rocket coffee can exhaust. Wish I had a pic but the back end of the car looked as though the car was nothing but exhaust. I think they only have 3 cyl anyway, so that is more than one exhaust tube per cylinder...what kind of performance increase are you really going to get from that?

I also did not see anyone mention people who drive the 'Type-R' cars with the Boeing wing on the boot lid and insist on drag racing everything from light to light. Worse are the wanna-be Type-R peeps that just put the badge on their car when they do not actually have a Type-R...this also applies to the BMW drivers who do the same with the M badges.

My fav of all time are the Indian ladies (from India the country) that drive the 4-cyl Toyota Camrys and insist on driving 50mph in the fast lane down the interstate.
 

Meio

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When I lived in Loughborough, Leics I once saw a smart car with quad (what I call) rice-rocket coffee can exhaust. Wish I had a pic but the back end of the car looked as though the car was nothing but exhaust. I think they only have 3 cyl anyway, so that is more than one exhaust tube per cylinder...what kind of performance increase are you really going to get from that?
What were you doing there, studying "Sports Science"?

Seriously though, I didn't think this was about cars that annoy you, just what are the ownership stereotypes.

When I read your Smart story, I instantly thought Smartuki (which are great), but then they generally have a modified version of the original bike exhaust (both the Z-cars version and the Smart Diablo). You never know though, so why not give them the benefit of the doubt until proven wrong.

Who would own a modified Smart Fortwo?
 

pAuLw85

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i find people who have lancers are cocks.

just about all of them have some evo-wanna be accessory, wether its the car down the road, with its front apron, massive spoiler, and 45634" exhaust, or the red one with a fake bonnet vent, spoiler, front & rear bars.

they give a bad name to ralliart. the latter one allways revs his engine when i drive past, what a tool
 

freeferrarisdonotexist

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Unfortunately I cop a bit of shit for driving an MX-5, apparently it makes me a bit of a hair dresser....

...The guy in the Audio RS5 didn't think so however, when he finally caught up to me at a red light after a run through the Dandenongs :)
I empathize. Idiots in BMWs smirk at me every day in the city...:mad:
Until I get to a back road.
Then they get very angry and start beating on their steering wheels and slamming the accelerator.:lol:
 
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