Clarkson: If Audi = Cock then.....? The Global Car Stereotypes Thread

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Inspired by Clarkson's assertion that new Audis are now almost exclusively driven by cocks, at least here in the UK, and go4gr8's concern that he might be perceived a Dork if he buys an IS-F in the States, what other stereotypical car/driver matches exist around the world?

Given the cosmopolitan nature of Final Gear I reckon it would be interesting to see how drivers of similar cars are viewed differently from country to country, or even state to state in the US.

(Real) Estate Agents for instance here in the UK tended towards Smart FourTwo's, then the new Mini, and sadly have already got their slimy mitts on the new Fiat 500, and big black pickups with fat wheels and lots of chrome are the ride of choice for shaven headed, nightclub bouncer types with no necks and dogs that are all heads and teeth.
 
Volvo drivers are generally the most boring people on earth.
 
Let's see...here in the states/North America because I'm also from Canada..

Minivans and large SUV's are driven by soccer moms;
BMW's are still for ultra-aggressive cocks;
Honda Civic drivers are driven by the poor (especially in Canada);
Most Hong-Kong drivers (drive slow and all over the place without signaling) have Mercedes and Infinitis;
Modified compacts (usually Japanese) are driven by "Ricers".
 
Let's see...here in the states/North America because I'm also from Canada..

Minivans and large SUV's are driven by soccer moms;
BMW's are still for ultra-aggressive cocks;
Honda Civic drivers are driven by the poor (especially in Canada);
Most Hong-Kong drivers (drive slow and all over the place without signaling) have Mercedes and Infinitis;
Modified compacts (usually Japanese) are driven by "Ricers".

Pick-up trucks are driven by 'farmers'.
VW beetles are driven by 'hippies'.
Station wagons (estates) are driven by 'un-cool, dorky, embarassing dads'.
 
Anyway, another good example is that anyone who owns a people carrier in the UK is a piddington.

Exsqueeze me? Note the vehicles, check the sig and then decide if you want to call me a Piddington.

I have a people carrier for one reason and one reason only......

Mine Works Fine! ;)
 
Dodge SRT-4s are driven by total assholes.
 
Here, the cock brands of choice are BMWs, Audis and Benzes. They drive like there are no traffic rules and the worst is that despite the fact that they can barely afford the car, they act like they're some kind of road gods. Most of them don't actually care what the car's performance is or any kind of technical aspects, it's just the badge that matters. Some examples of auto cockery(not my pics):

A Gallardo in the countryside


A broken down Ferrari helped by a Daewoo Matiz


And the only 3-seater F430
 
Hm, in my country it's like that:

third series BMW are driven by aggressive cocks and "drifters", who usually drive drunk and finally everything ends up in a ditch :D Btw those cocks are usually Russians who live in my country :)

VW Golf MK2 and MK3 are driven by the same cocks, just a little bit more poor :)

Oh, and big cars ,especially Porsche 4x4 and things like that drivers, don't care about any rules, they drive like they are most important drivers on road, they park them anywhere, and police never gives a fu*k about them :)
 
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At lease in Louisiana: Porsche 911's, Merc SL's and sports cars like that are either driven by assholes that look too young to own them or old men that are too decrepit and feeble to drive them properly.

Jacked-up pick-ups with huge chrome wheels and dual exhaust are extremely popular, and they are almost always driven by what we Yanks call "wiggers" who act like they are driving a Lamborghini. One time I saw one do a burnout from a stoplight in broad daylight for no reason.

Lexus' are usually driven by boring old businessmen who want no excitement from a car.

Enormous Buick's and old Cadillac's are driven by tiny old people that can't see above the steering wheel and drive at 7.6 mph everywhere they go, even on the interstate.
 
Trucks with testicles hanging off the rear hitch are driven exclusively by closet homosexuals.

If you don't know what I'm talking about or haven't seen them in person, then I pity you. It's hilarious.
 
PT Cruisers are primarily driven by people who were retarded enough to buy one thinking it was cool, only to much later find out they're actually the opposite. They attempt to overcompensate this by driving like complete dicks.

Also when gas was really high last year, almost everyone who owned a large SUV would travel no less than 90mph as if to say "Oh, I knew it got bad mpg's! I don't care about that! Why else would I be driving this fast if I did!!"
Meanwhile on the inside, they're crying.
 
Trucks with testicles hanging off the rear hitch are driven exclusively by closet homosexuals.

If you don't know what I'm talking about or haven't seen them in person, then I pity you. It's hilarious.
*looks at his (estranged) dad's truck*
Yea, that makes sense... o_O

Here, any Amurican car is driven by rednecks who nearly always have a stupid little ribbon on the back saying "Support our Troops" or a Bush/McCain sticker.

Tiny Kias and Hyundai's are driven by either college kids with no credit or old people with no sense of... quality.

Hondas are driven by people who think they are above everyone else, even if they are driving a Honda

The Prius is driven by Eco-Hippies who yell dirty things at me from their window about "Saving the environment" or some such nonsense.

SUVs are driven by soccer moms who think that, since they drive such a large vehicle, they can speed everywhere then stop on a dime and still have change. Yea, no. It weighs 11 million tons, it's not going to stop from 60 in 60 feet, unless you hit a tree that is 59 feet away from where you first touched the brakes. >.<
 
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Volvo drivers are generally the most boring people on earth.

Which is strange. People that buy Volvos new have obviously put much thought into buying their car. They have to, because buying a new Volvo isn't a passion thing, it's not an impulse thing, and it's not a sheeple thing, or you'd see many more of them.

So these people have done research and gone for test drives and chosen the perfect car for their needs... and people that do that are usually interesting, intelligent people.

This makes the New Volvo buyer engimatic and unique in the motoring world, but strangely boring and probably emotionally flaccid.
 
Which is strange. People that buy Volvos new have obviously put much thought into buying their car. They have to, because buying a new Volvo isn't a passion thing, it's not an impulse thing, and it's not a sheeple thing, or you'd see many more of them.

So these people have done research and gone for test drives and chosen the perfect car for their needs... and people that do that are usually interesting, intelligent people.

This makes the New Volvo buyer engimatic and unique in the motoring world, but strangely boring and probably emotionally flaccid.

My sister has a Volvo S40. Your post explains everything. :D She's a Production Accountant turned Producer.
 
In Israel, the ultimate chav brand is BMW. If a chav has a BMW, then he is uber-chav. Other cock brands include everything which is expensive (mostly Mercs, Lexus, and I might even say Porsches). On the other hand, Audi is actually considered quite cool here, although old A3s are already into the chav business.
Some other chav brands include old Hondas and some VWs. Religious blokes are usually seen driving a Subaru. Korean cars/Daewoolets still have a bit of a cheap car stigma, so they are supposed to be owned by people who prefer quantity over quality. Proper American cars are barely seen anymore (by me anyway), and it seems that the Malibu is the most common new American car sold these days, bought by people who'd like being seen with all that chrome on the car. People who think that they half the world drive Hummers. Rally replicas (STIs, Evos) are bought by the ultimate car anoraks. French car drivers are unusual, German car drivers are conservative, and Japanese car drivers are usually the Joe Common.

As for everybody else - They all drive Mazdas. -.-
 
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