Kill a dream

Granted. Unfortunately pleasant does not include rain. You are now in drought. No more endless showers for you.

I wish that the backyard had been cleaned up.
 
Granted. Everything got tossed into the neighbor's yard, and now they're going to shoot you.

I wish to have a comfortable pair of glasses that won't slip off my nose constantly.
 
Granted. They are now stapled to your head and never come off.

I wish I had my own place that I never had to move from, was self cleaning, and excellent internets.
 
Granted, you are now in death row awaiting execution, abuse that internets while it lasts.

I wish I had the courage to ask out this really sexy girl who is sitting opposite me in the College library.
 
Granted they nuke themselves and your country as well.

I wish I had more money.
 
Granted. A million billion monopoly dollars for you

I wish that my car hadn't gotten all dirty so soon after I cleaned it
 
Granted, instead a piano was dropped on it.

I wish I was somewhere else.
 
Granted. To the surface of the sun in 3....2....1.....bye!

I wish that my knee and hip were not aching
 
Granted instead they are broken, you now feel old.

I wish I had access to a shower right now.
 
Granted. Acid shower

I wish that there was something interesting on TV
 
Granted. A gorilla juggling chainsaws crushed your TV, and is now pissed at you.

I wish I didn't have to interview people tomorrow.
 
Granted. You now have to do it all night and all day tomorrow.

I wish that I had more holidays.
 
Granted. Permanent holiday. Without pay. Also called jobless.

I wish half my day hadn't been wasted.
 
Granted. Now your whole day and half the night.

I wish that I had lots and lots and lots of really interesting things to do.
 
Granted, but they all are very dangerous and put you at risk odf death.

I wish I had some cheesecake.
 
Granted. But I steal it all. Except for the coffee flavoured stuff. That gets smooshed over your head.

I wish I had more strength of character.
 
Granted, but you now have no strength of body.

I wish I had a girlfriend.
 
Granted. The highest maintenance girlfriend in all the land.

I wish I had a better imagination
 
Granted. You're now insane.

I wish there was more edible food in my refrigerator.
 
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