Kill a dream

NoNeedForAChestWig

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Granted. You have the superpower to turn people on at a distance. Unfortunately it's so strong, by the time they get anywhere near you their legs (and everything else) have buckled due to exhaustion.

I wish the sun wouldn't shine right in the corner of my eye like it is doing right now.
 

ashspet

Nothing to see here, move along people!
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Granted, it is now full frontal and burning you to a crisp.

I wish that payroll hadn't fucked up so that I now owe $1800
 
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ashspet

Nothing to see here, move along people!
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Granted. Thanks :D

I wish that the pineapple I was eating was a little sweeter
 

ashspet

Nothing to see here, move along people!
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Granted. They are now on fire. And starting to burn up your legs.

I wish that tomorrow was declared a no work day
 

ashspet

Nothing to see here, move along people!
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Granted. But it was yesterday.

I wish I had some chocolate mousse.
 

ashspet

Nothing to see here, move along people!
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Granted. But it smells like puke.

I wish I had a back massage
 

PaperBiro

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Granted. But you're now a small, yellow cartoon mouse with a moustache.

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much.
 

ashspet

Nothing to see here, move along people!
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Granted. You now never start anything. Slowly, as time goes on, and you lie in your bed for the 1000th day, your skin turns bright yellow, a fungus spreads to your upper lip. Seven days later you have been totally poke-fied.

I wish that I would win the lotto tomorrow
 

PaperBiro

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Granted. Unfortunately Team Rocket hypnotises you and forces you to spend your winnings on plastic surgery, turning you into a moustached Pikachu. Again.

I wish I had super-brain power.
 

NoNeedForAChestWig

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Granted. Now small talk is boring, and in fact you find yourself on such a different intellectual plane to everyone else that normal social interaction is impossible.

I wish England would lose this football match. It would really be quite hilarious, even given the inevitable teasing I'd suffer at work on Monday.
 

PaperBiro

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Granted. You now have to deal with Katstein, who's become a nuclear-armed taekwondo-trained secret-agent communist pirate pimp babe-magnet terroristkat.

I wish I was a cat.
 
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ashspet

Nothing to see here, move along people!
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Granted. But considering the level of abuse levelled at a lot of cats in this world, I don't like your chances.

I wish I had magical powers
 
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