Kill a dream

I'm sure you look good in anything.

I wish I were taller. I can't reach any of the top shelves in my kitchen.
 
Granted. You ate Alice's cookie. You now have to bend down and kneel to get through doorways!

I wish that people would sing in the FG Board Conversation thread!
 
Granted. Everyone hates Bowie, apparently.

I wish work didn't suck.
 
Granted. It now blows!

I wish that my bed was more comfortable.
 
Granted. Now every other bed will forever be ruined (including mine :p)

I wish I had a moderately better than average memory.
 
Granted. But it is for useless trivia. Nothing good comes from it.

I wish that it was snowing, not sleeting.
 
Nothing good? I could be a God on trivia night at the pub.

And 10 ft of snow for you.

I wish I could fly.
 
Granted. Only beyond the speed of light and your body is not able to cope with the physical forces, so you are reduced to a scattering of mince on your first flight.

I wish I could spend more time doing interesting things today.
 
Granted. You only spend time doing interesting things, and everything else around you falls to shit from neglect.

I wish I had a tv.
 
Granted, a 3inch black and white with no sound is now yours.

I wish that this meeting wasn't about to happen
 
Granted. It already did.

I wish there was no meeting tomorrow.
 
Granted. It's right now. You are late. And have to walk in past the CEO and management team that are now frowning at you. You look down and realise you forgot to put on pants. And underwear.

I wish that the bank would lend me more than $300k and not charge me interest. Or even expect the money to be repaid.
 
Granted. You're now in jail for robbing the bank.

I wish I had a bacon cheeseburger with mushrooms and cheddar cheese right now.
 
Granted. But it was made by trolls, who have gobbed all over it.

I wish that I had a piece of caramel cheesecake right now.
 
Granted. I stole it and ate it.

I wish I had my own private jet.
 
Granted. Unfortunately the range is 200miles. And it cannot deal with windy, wet or cold conditions.

I wish that there was a successful completion to my current activity.
 
Granted. You shall never be successful at it ever again.

I wish I had a teleportation device.
 
Granted. From San Francisco to Mars. You step out and *gasp*

I wish that the $99 offer to Bali (flights and three nights accommodation) wasn't so damn limited.
 
Granted. It's now sold out.

I wish I had a dog.
 
Granted. Welcome to Thor, your new Wolfhound. He has unstoppable flatulance, chews your furniture, and takes over your bed, not allowing you even an inch.

I wish that I had managed to deal with all the issues of the day.
 
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