Man accused of having sex with his bicycle. Wait, what?!

Blind_Io

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http://www.sundaymail.co.uk/news/tm_headline=accused---of-having-sex-with-his-bike--&method=full&objectid=19347288&siteid=64736-name_page.html

A MAN has been charged with having sex with his bike.

Robert Stewart was allegedly caught in the act by two terrified cleaners who walked into his bedroom in a hostel.

Stewart has denied the accusation, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The 51-year-old bachelor was charged with the bizarre sexual offence after he was disturbed by the cleaner and her colleague in a private hostel in Ayr.

The charge alleges he conducted himself in a disorderly manner, simulated sex with a bicycle and continued to do so while naked from the waist down in the presence of two female employees.

Stewart had been living in the Aberley House hostel from October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan, Ayrshire.

He moved after a separate sex complaint to which he has pleaded not guilty at Ayr Sheriff Court.

Unemployed Stewart has now left Aberley House and is living in a flat in the centre of Ayr.

Asked about the claim he was simulating sex with the bike, he said: "You'll need to ask the cleaners why they would say that.

"It's a lot of rubbish, a lot of rubbish."

His solicitor Gerry Tierney said last night: "My client denies the allegations and intends to defend the charge vigorously."

A spokeswoman for the Aberley House hostel for the homeless said: "We cannot comment because of client confidentiality."
 

Blind_Io

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I just want to know how. I mean seriously, I think you would risk a rather painful and embarrassing injury trying something like this.

Now if he was having sex with an Aston Martin DB9, I think we would all be much more understanding.
 

ryosuke

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he should sue the bike for sexual harassment.:rolleyes:
 

bartboy9891

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You can get charged for this kind of stuff? Is anything he did, though weird, against the law?
 

zaybxcwd12

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"Mr. Stewart can you explain just what exactly you where doing with your bicycle"
"I was riding it your honor"
 

Momentum57

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simulating sex with a bike! Call me naive but what exactly is involved in that and where exactly are you placing your leg.
 

Ottobon

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Im going to quess that it doesn't involve the chains or the gears, because that would end up bloody rather fast, maybe the seat was made of something smooth and he rubbed himself against it or something



How is this political though? What do conservative stand up for bikes rights were liberals find that one should be able to abuse their own property in any manner they see fit?
 

Blind_Io

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Bicycle froterism != Sex
 

The_Finn

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I would immagine it's not so much the simulating sex with the bike as simulating sex with the bike infront of 2 female cleaning ladies (and not stoping when he was discovered)
 

Blind_Io

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^ That's awesome! I know I'm going to hell for some of the stuff I've said, want me to save you a seat?
 
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