Random Thoughts....

Jay said:
No, actually... :think:

I know of the two hit wonder band, and of the theatre in Chicago.
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Now you know three, including the Herman Hesse book. It's about a disillusioned person of talent who finds himself divided between his inner normal human and the untamed creative spirit within, the "Steppenwolf" of the title. Bit of a navel-gazer, but if you're into that kind of book, the full text is available here.
 
:lol:

He said "bunghole."
 
ninjacoco said:
:lol:

He said "bunghole."
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TP for your bunghole?


Jay said:
I have a normal person work schedule now, 8 am to 5 pm.

It's neat to be like the rest of you and I mean that all seriousness; I naturally walk to a different beat than the rest of society, so being able to fit makes me feel a bit better about myself.
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I sometimes would want that, it's alot easier to plan stuff but, I don't like being stuck in a cube all day everyday. Plus, I get to let my inner pyro out. I get to play with fire, the flames no joke can be as long or longer then my truck! Diameter's about 6" or more depending on burners.
 
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Are you threatening me?
 
Jay said:
I have a normal person work schedule now, 8 am to 5 pm.

It's neat to be like the rest of you and I mean that all seriousness; I naturally walk to a different beat than the rest of society, so being able to fit makes me feel a bit better about myself.
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Most eveyone I know wants to stand apart from the crowd, why are you trying to fit in? Uniqueness doesn't mean you don't belong, it just means that you are slightly different. Nothing wrong with that.
 
GRtak said:
Most everyone I know wants to stand apart from the crowd, why are you trying to fit in? Uniqueness doesn't mean you don't belong, it just means that you are slightly different. Nothing wrong with that.
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Why? Because I am tired of being me. I don't want to be unique, or hold some false belief (fallacy, really) that I am some sort of special snowflake.

Because I am who I am, my wife left me. Because I am who I am, I am not on the US Ski team, because I didn't want to take the opportunity given to me by USSA. Because I am who I am, I decided not to go to Minneapolis and be a session guitarist at a studio when it was proposed to me. Because I am who I am, I am too scared to take my photography to the next level. Because I am who I am, I didn't go to normal college because I learn differently than other people.

I don't want to be me anymore. I want the happy suburban life with my 2.5 children, the wife who likes things that I do and vice versa like all the people I am friends with on Facebook and their perfect well adjusted lives while I drown in my own self pity, sorrow and depression. I don't want to be interesting or stand apart from the crowd anymore. Would you like to know how stressful it is to go against the grain of the norm?

Is that a good enough answer for you? Or would like me to scream it at you, venting the daily frustration that are on my shoulders?


*EDIT* Sorry for going off the deep end, I have no one outside the internet to express myself.
 
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Jay said:
Because I am tired of being me.
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I hear you, and understand. Nothing more I can say, but trust me - I do understand. :comfort:
 
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Jay, you are more like most people than you realize.
 
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Di you used to travel?
 
Jay said:
I don't want to be me anymore. I want the happy suburban life with my 2.5 children, the wife who likes things that I do and vice versa like all the people I am friends with on Facebook and their perfect well adjusted lives while I drown in my own self pity, sorrow and depression. I don't want to be interesting or stand apart from the crowd anymore. Would you like to know how stressful it is to go against the grain of the norm?
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Those people do not exist. It is an act. You would be amazed at the shit people don't let out from their households. I am relatively certain for example, no one other than my mother and uncle (and their children, possibly not all my uncle's children) know my aunt is in the middle of a divorce that is messy enough to damage US emotionally just because we used to be close and see them regularly. No one in my family outside my aunt and her children know the extent of how sick I am, actually I think it may just be my aunt and only because mom is always on the phone trying to help her.
This is within a close family setting, what do you think doesn't make it onto facebook for the average person? People censor themselves on tough subjects, you are seeing a polished lie of what people want their lives to be. The divorce rate is what, 50/50 now? You are totally within the norm.
 
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Jay, I can appreciate everything you said except as Kat pointed out, the Facebook Fallacy.

But I as well as likely many others here have certain "differences" from normal people that makes the Internet a perfect escape. Particularly, I have trouble with emotions and empathy.

But it is who I am, and for now, I can accept it. Who knows, maybe I will feel exactly the same way in 15 years.... I don't have your experience and won't try to give you unfounded advice.
 
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Speaking of Facebook; it is a twisted maze of passages, all alike. TBH, I'm kind of annoyed at the both ends of the spectrum; the showcasing well-doers and the always-complainers; people who seem to get up in the morning and declare to the world that they again have a touch of flu. What I like seeing are little snippets of life, perhaps positive or perhaps not, but not something that is endlessly repetitive. Just that it would surprise me once in a while would be nice, instead of "not this shit again".
 
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Jay said:
I don't want to be me anymore. I want the happy suburban life with my 2.5 children, the wife who likes things that I do and vice versa like all the people I am friends with on Facebook and their perfect well adjusted lives while I drown in my own self pity, sorrow and depression. I don't want to be interesting or stand apart from the crowd anymore. Would you like to know how stressful it is to go against the grain of the norm?

*EDIT* Sorry for going off the deep end, I have no one outside the internet to express myself.
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katwalk said:
This is within a close family setting, what do you think doesn't make it onto facebook for the average person? People censor themselves on tough subjects, you are seeing a polished lie of what people want their lives to be. The divorce rate is what, 50/50 now? You are totally within the norm.
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thevictor390 said:
Jay, I can appreciate everything you said except as Kat pointed out, the Facebook Fallacy.

But I as well as likely many others here have certain "differences" from normal people that makes the Internet a perfect escape. Particularly, I have trouble with emotions and empathy.

But it is who I am, and for now, I can accept it. Who knows, maybe I will feel exactly the same way in 15 years.... I don't have your experience and won't try to give you unfounded advice.
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Jay, i'm not going to comment on you. i respect you way too much to do so and any advice from me would just simply be worthless since you are probably far more smarter than me.

Kat is absolutely right on the money when she talks about Facebook. There's a lot that doesn't get put out onto my profile. There's a lot of things i'm not comfortable with putting out there on display and there are something's i don't post because i don't like to make attention to myself. so i edit down *a lot* that goes on. After the mess i got into a few months back with someone who took issue with a lot of what i was posting. to the point where his comments were mostly filled with venom and he started gunning for other people on my friends list who's views differed from his own. After all that happened i got incredibly nervous of what i was posting and how i was presenting myself to other people. eventually i just said to hell with it, be who i wanted to be. Don't worry about the little things Jay. just concentrate on being awesome and that is what you are best at.

public said:
Speaking of Facebook; it is a twisted maze of passages, all alike. TBH, I'm kind of annoyed at the both ends of the spectrum; the showcasing well-doers and the always-complainers; people who seem to get up in the morning and declare to the world that they again have a touch of flu. What I like seeing are little snippets of life, perhaps positive or perhaps not, but not something that is endlessly repetitive. Just that it would surprise me once in a while would be nice, instead of "not this shit again".
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i have no idea how these people manage to get up and just be so miserable all the time. i've frequently found that blocking them has helped end their tirade of misery and leave my news feed open to those who have a better opinion on life.
 
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