Stupid Driver Stories

SirEdward

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See I'm the opposite. I'll be damned if some random woman tells me what to do!!!! :p (my old navi had the most annoying female voice ever)
I don't know... A man's voice as a satnav is usually either boring or aggressive, and lip is quite correct on the flight attendant flavour.
 

Cowboy

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I think we can all agree that it's high time the boys get together to give us Top Gear satnav voices....Till then I will stick with the girl with the hot hollandish accent :p
 

Cowboy

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I was thinking all 3 could do a seperate voice, with some small jokes thrown in obviously but not to the point it stops beeing a usefull satnav voice.
 
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prizrak

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I don't know... A man's voice as a satnav is usually either boring or aggressive, and lip is quite correct on the flight attendant flavour.
Well in my current navi its a pleasant female voice, my old one sounded like a nagy old hag, while the dude just sounded like an announcer on the subway.

For a complete off-topic: On the newer trains here announcements are recorded and informational announcements are made in female voice while directional (like stand clear of the doors) are made by a male voice. When they did the recordings they recorded both in both voices but then decided to use the above scheme. Later they actually found out that according to science people are more receptive to informationals from females and directions from males, quite interesting. (There was an article when new trains got intro'ed)
I think we can all agree that it's high time the boys get together to give us Top Gear satnav voices....Till then I will stick with the girl with the hot hollandish accent
Seconded.
 

YF19pilot

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My step-dad uses a GPS voice that's a woman with an English Accent. Problem is, she uses English terms for everything, rather than the American words, causing confusion, so it really doesn't help his inability to navigate (i.e. exit = 'slip road'). And if I recall right, there is an American female voice, but he prefers the English woman for the accent.


Also, the other day I was driving to work, the first road I turn onto has big, blind hills. We get the occasional biker, but they tend to keep to the right enough not to be an issue. This time, however, was a guy who was as far from the lycra brigade as could be (fat, wife beater shirt, hippy hair and hippy beard), driving what looked like the Huffy WalMart Special, and was riding it in the middle of the lane. The guy's just asking to be flattened by a school bus.
 
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SirEdward

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...they actually found out that according to science people are more receptive to informationals from females and directions from males, quite interesting. (There was an article when new trains got intro'ed)

Seconded.
That's quite nice, and would explain why I prefer female voices over the satnav: It's feels more like being given information instead of being given orders.
 

That American Girl

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Today, I have to nominate...myself.



I was out with the kiddo in the car, and were talking about what kind of car he wants to get. The "I want this" vs "what he'll get in the real world".

Started talking about automatic vs a manual, and I was telling him that I really would prefer him to get a cheap manual to start with. He wont be able to talk or text and drive, plus the insurance is so much cheaper. Cause most people here cant drive them, so its one of the best theft deterrent options available:p.

Talking more about how I'd teach him how to drive one, and not to worry...yadda yadda yadda... Yeah, its not too hard, yunno..clutch, shift, so forth and so forth.


Now bear in mind I drive my POS automatic Taurus..

Was about to turn onto my street with thoughts of a manual in my head, and as I started to turn...


I put my foot down on the invisible and non-existent clutch, and moved the gear lever into the proper gear.

Um, on an automatic.

Yunno...its the weirdest thing but... They don't seem to like that. And make bad bad noises. :blush::blush::blush:


So, I didn't do any damage to it, but I almost died of embarrassment.
 

SirEdward

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I really would prefer him to get a cheap manual to start with. He wont be able to talk or text and drive, plus the insurance is so much cheaper. Cause most people here cant drive them, so its one of the best theft deterrent options available:p.
Ok, for the insurance, but as for the text and drive... unfortunately, yes you can do that with a manual transmission too.

But I hope you manage to give him a manual, it's soooo much better to know how to drive it.
 
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Blind_Io

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Today, I have to nominate...myself.



I was out with the kiddo in the car, and were talking about what kind of car he wants to get. The "I want this" vs "what he'll get in the real world".

Started talking about automatic vs a manual, and I was telling him that I really would prefer him to get a cheap manual to start with. He wont be able to talk or text and drive, plus the insurance is so much cheaper. Cause most people here cant drive them, so its one of the best theft deterrent options available:p.

Talking more about how I'd teach him how to drive one, and not to worry...yadda yadda yadda... Yeah, its not too hard, yunno..clutch, shift, so forth and so forth.


Now bear in mind I drive my POS automatic Taurus..

Was about to turn onto my street with thoughts of a manual in my head, and as I started to turn...


I put my foot down on the invisible and non-existent clutch, and moved the gear lever into the proper gear.

Um, on an automatic.

Yunno...its the weirdest thing but... They don't seem to like that. And make bad bad noises. :blush::blush::blush:


So, I didn't do any damage to it, but I almost died of embarrassment.
I've tried to push the clutch in on an automatic and caught the edge of the brake with my sasquatch-sized foot, causing the car to do what cars do when you step hard on the brakes.

Also, when driving the automatic Civic rental I kept trying to set the foot-brake.
 

FDaihatsu

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Out of pure longing for a manual, I sometimes move the gear knob in my car to M, and simulate actually changing gears with an imaginary clutch. It's nice until the gearbox downshifts by itself when coming to a stop at the same time I try to downshift, which causes it to go from third directly to first. Which could be quite embarrassing if someone watched you do it. D:
 

prizrak

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Out of pure longing for a manual, I sometimes move the gear knob in my car to M, and simulate actually changing gears with an imaginary clutch. It's nice until the gearbox downshifts by itself when coming to a stop at the same time I try to downshift, which causes it to go from third directly to first. Which could be quite embarrassing if someone watched you do it. D:
LOL I do that.
 

LP

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Today, I have to nominate...myself.



I was out with the kiddo in the car, and were talking about what kind of car he wants to get. The "I want this" vs "what he'll get in the real world".

Started talking about automatic vs a manual, and I was telling him that I really would prefer him to get a cheap manual to start with. He wont be able to talk or text and drive, plus the insurance is so much cheaper. Cause most people here cant drive them, so its one of the best theft deterrent options available:p.

Talking more about how I'd teach him how to drive one, and not to worry...yadda yadda yadda... Yeah, its not too hard, yunno..clutch, shift, so forth and so forth.


Now bear in mind I drive my POS automatic Taurus..

Was about to turn onto my street with thoughts of a manual in my head, and as I started to turn...


I put my foot down on the invisible and non-existent clutch, and moved the gear lever into the proper gear.

Um, on an automatic.

Yunno...its the weirdest thing but... They don't seem to like that. And make bad bad noises. :blush::blush::blush:


So, I didn't do any damage to it, but I almost died of embarrassment.
That's not stupid, that's actually quite imaginative and hilarious. Longing for a manual eh? You'll get it soon when you get your tyke one.






I got one for you guys. I swear, driving to the gym has become the biggest headache in the world. Today was no different. 2 people in a small beige ugly toyota echo (the one with it's ass in the air all the time):


They had a GPS open AND a map out, and I guess they can't fucking pay attention to what they're doing but he was sudden braking when the car in front is 5 car lengths ahead. And it wasn't that he was going to make a turn or something because I saw him come all the way to the end of the road (about 3 miles). And we were all going 35 mph. He kept slowing down to 10-15 mph.

EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

Get the fuck off the road and take the bus if you're that fucking panicky. It just tells me you're highly insecure about your driving ability.

I was patient for a while and then when I realized how hard he was sudden braking I couldn't take it, and switched lanes. As I passed by I flipped him off but of course he didn't see me because he was too busy sudden braking and paying attention to his whiny bitching fucking girlfriend/wife/fiancee/backseat driver in the passenger's seat and to the GPS bitch TO PAY ANY FUCKING ATTENTION TO ANYTHING ON THE ROAD.

Yes, that felt good doing that, working out my road rage on the treadmill and swearing to you all just now. Thank you for your time and your virgin earbuds/eyeballs.
 

Blind_Io

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Had an older Maxima behind me in the X tonight with either one high beam on or the worst adjusted headlight in the whole of human history. I was on the freeway in the center lane doing about 67mph or so and this cheese-dick sits behind me with his fucking bring light. Even up in the X and though tinted windows I had to flip my mirror, and I never have to do that.

I slowed down a bit in the hopes he would pass in the totally empty passing lane, but he decided to get within two feet of my rear bumper instead.

I dropped three gears and popped the clutch, I didn't realize the X could squeak the rear decelerating. Unfortunately he didn't hit me so no new armored bumper.
 

Red_Bull

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Idiot NSW drivers in general. Their etiquette regarding passing lanes astounds me. You could sit behind the flippen Corolla for miles doing 10kph below the already pedestrian 100kph limit on most highways, but as soon as a passing lane appears they're off like a scalded cat doing 110kph.

And if that's not bad enough, the other situation I've found myself in is when I'm in the left lane doing the speed limit of 100kph and some jerk in a Territory is attempting an overtake but they're only going 101kph, and the end of the passing lane is approaching. And they're still not ahead by the time the left lane ends, but damned if they're gonna abort the maneuver! Damned if I'm gonna concede when I'm still a car length ahead if it comes to that! :p

They don't do this in SA!
 

Hbriz

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Idiot NSW drivers in general. Their etiquette regarding passing lanes astounds me. You could sit behind the flippen Corolla for miles doing 10kph below the already pedestrian 100kph limit on most highways, but as soon as a passing lane appears they're off like a scalded cat doing 110kph.

And if that's not bad enough, the other situation I've found myself in is when I'm in the left lane doing the speed limit of 100kph and some jerk in a Territory is attempting an overtake but they're only going 101kph, and the end of the passing lane is approaching. And they're still not ahead by the time the left lane ends, but damned if they're gonna abort the maneuver! Damned if I'm gonna concede when I'm still a car length ahead if it comes to that! :p

They don't do this in SA!
People really don't consider anything when they are overtaking. If you are in the left lane, and someone is overtaking you on the right as the left lane is ending, they WILL not move. And the car behind will move in really close too. And the one behind that. So you are basically snookered into the left hand lane, and end up having to slow down to a stupidly low speed.

Once this happened and I was prepared for the inevitable brake, wait, join-at-the-end-of-the-queue-because-nobodys-going-to-let-you-in maneuvre. Then something I've never seen happened. The car that was overtaking at a speed not much faster than I was going actuall slowed down and let me in!

Why? Well, they had Northern Territory numberplates.
 

prizrak

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People really don't consider anything when they are overtaking. If you are in the left lane, and someone is overtaking you on the right as the left lane is ending, they WILL not move. And the car behind will move in really close too. And the one behind that. So you are basically snookered into the left hand lane, and end up having to slow down to a stupidly low speed.

Once this happened and I was prepared for the inevitable brake, wait, join-at-the-end-of-the-queue-because-nobodys-going-to-let-you-in maneuvre. Then something I've never seen happened. The car that was overtaking at a speed not much faster than I was going actuall slowed down and let me in!

Why? Well, they had Northern Territory numberplates.
Took me a while to reconcile that you drive on the wrong side of the road :p In a situation like this you just move in, they will move out of your way (most of the time). People are generally douchebags about that, when I'm in a position when two lanes converge if you have a blinker on I will let you in, on the other hand if you don't I will be 5mm from the car in front of me.
 

IceBone

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Fucking hell, almost ran over a kid earlier today...

He was dribbling a basketball while walking along the sidewalk, hit his foot, ball bounced on the road and his first reaction was to follow it. Right in front of me. It's a good thing I was keeping an eye out for him and expected just such an outcome...

>_<
 
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