Telegraph.co.uk's top 10 most annoying Americanisms - we can do better.

klankymen

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I met some tasmanians in austria the other week. I asked them if they were geographically confused - I said this was austria not australia. they told me to bugger off.
 

Hidden_Hunter

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I met some tasmanians in austria the other week. I asked them if they were geographically confused - I said this was austria not australia. they told me to bugger off.
wait, tasmanian's have escaped from tasmania? shit...

we better alert the authorities we have a breach in containment.
 

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This thread has me wondering, do you UK guys say "torques" like clarkson does? Like "The new GTR has 434 torques" or is it just Clarkson doing things wrong?
Clarkson doing things wrong for humorous effect.

Also as nobody*, ever, actually knows what torque is or does, "torques" makes it sound a lot less sciencey and harsh.

*may be a blatant lie

Honestly, how often to the English go shopping from the back of peoples' cars? It this such a common occurrence that the phrase "car boot sale" was created? I the US we don't have a special name for it. "I just bought this outta that guy's truck."
Car boot sale is the UK equivelant of a yard sale or garage sale. Normally we don't amass a houseful of junk so just fit it in the car's back end instead. Or the front end if we have a 911, but then there won't be any junk at all to sell.

How much is a "spot" of tea? A cup? does "spot" refer to such a small amount that, if spilled, would only leave a "spot"?
A spot of tea is (for me) about half a cup, but the volume can be increased with judicious amounts of sugar and/or milk.
 

Blind_Io

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Clarkson doing things wrong for humorous effect.

Also as nobody*, ever, actually knows what torque is or does, "torques" makes it sound a lot less sciencey and harsh.

*may be a blatant lie
Do you want that in foot-pounds, joules, or newton-meters?

 

Seasonone

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Clarkson doing things wrong for humorous effect.

Also as nobody*, ever, actually knows what torque is or does, "torques" makes it sound a lot less sciencey and harsh.

*may be a blatant lie
I don't think Clarkson says it to be funny, he does it way too often and in times where he is in "fact mode". I would bet money he just either has no idea what he's talking about or is just saying it wrong without knowing he is. I didn't know if it was just Clarkson being alone and wrong, or if it was a common UK thing that was wrong.

Like blind said it's pound feet (or another measurement) OF torque. Torque isn't a set measurement like an inch, you can't have more than one. You wouldn't say "inflate your tires to 30 pressures".
 

Dogbert

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I don't think Clarkson says it to be funny, he does it way too often and in times where he is in "fact mode".
Does he actually have a serious-business-facts-now mode? I find it extremely hard to believe that someone who's been in the automotive business for over twenty years doesn't know what torque is.
 

Seasonone

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Does he actually have a serious-business-facts-now mode? I find it extremely hard to believe that someone who's been in the automotive business for over twenty years doesn't know what torque is.
Why has he never once said it right? He is trying to be funny every time? And not knowing what it is isn't that shocking, I doubt he knows what horsepower is either. I bet he has a decent idea, but I doubt he can actually tell you what it is down to the work/time/force/distance stuff.
 

klankymen

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8. "Oh my gosh!"
Translation: "I fear you may feel that taking the Lord's name in vain is blasphemous."
That's another one the yanks aren't alone with.

Possibly the second most annoying thing about fifth gear is the overwhelming amount of times VBH (and sometimes Tom Ford) says "Oh my..." makes a little pause, and then finishes the sentence with "...word!"

Just fucking say "Oh my god", or don't say it at all, "oh my word" sounds even more retarted than "Oh my gosh"
 

IceBone

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*clears throat*

Shit, piss, fuck, ****, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

*bows*
 
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