The best ever Clarkson,Hammond and May Quotes

kingcobra

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Was it the Audi TT Jeremy was talking about when he said something like, "People wrote in to complain about how dead they were..."? :lol:
It's actually from S06E07 the test on TVR Sagaris. Refering to the handling of the old TVRs, "In the olden days, I always got the impression that TVR build a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handle. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was."

/runs out and try to find a life:D
 

GullWing

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It's actually from S06E07 the test on TVR Sagaris. Refering to the handling of the old TVRs, "In the olden days, I always got the impression that TVR build a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handle. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was."

/runs out and try to find a life:D

Yep, that was it! :lol:
 

Momo63

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s12e1


BBC Health & Safety Guy: You done something to your leg as well?
JC: Yeah, the gear lever's gone up my ass!

haha the funniest episode in a long time.
ARSE - the word is ARSE - Jeremy is British, to him an ass is a donkey. ;)
 

GullWing

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"Clarkson, you infantile pillock! You're tidying that up now..." --James in the Winebago :lol:

S12E2

:james::tumbleweed:
 
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JC: "What is that girl the hmm... Sex and The City... Sarah... Sarah Jessica... she is another one, you know she must be pretty, you know... she looks like a boiled horse!!!"
YES! my favorite quote as well. I've always hated that show and Sarah Jessica Parker so to finally have a 100% accurate description of her makes me so happy. :lol:
 

Flick Montana

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One-Armed Man: "Jeremy."
Jeremy: "Yes?"
One-Armed Man: "My arm's come off!"
Jeremy: "...what?!"

I loved that episode and all of Jeremy's German teasing. I loved the comment about the German GPS that only goes to Poland. Sorry, Poland.
 

ElBarto

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One-Armed Man: "Jeremy."
Jeremy: "Yes?"
One-Armed Man: "My arm's come off!"
Jeremy: "...what?!"

I loved that episode and all of Jeremy's German teasing. I loved the comment about the German GPS that only goes to Poland. Sorry, Poland.

No hard feelings.At least Jeremy knows that there is such country as Poland.Not like some US-fellows.Sorry US citizens;)
 

DaShowstoppa

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Last week: (V8 Blender)

Hammond: Has that beef still got bone on it?
Clarkson: yeeees (without a care in the world) It was the way he said it - typical Jezza!


Hammond: Oh God, tell me that's not an accellerator pedal! :p
 

GullWing

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Last week: (V8 Blender)

Hammond: Has that beef still got bone on it?
Clarkson: yeeees (without a care in the world) It was the way he said it - typical Jezza!


Hammond: Oh God, tell me that's not an accellerator pedal! :p
Definitely - and the way Jezza says, "Relaaaaax..." :D
I liked Hammond's, "Desperate shag in a skip" as well. :lol:
 

capra

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From The Big Read, wherein the boys attempt to read a passage from The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy:

Take 1:

RH: "All right..."
JM: ...said Loonqual...
RH: "Can you please just tell us the question?"
JC: "The USS Nimitz was blazing out of control in the middle of the North Atlantic..."
RH: No, mate, you're on the wrong page.
JC: Oh, sorry. Wrong book, actually.

Take 2:

RH: "All right..."
JM: ...said Loonqual...
RH: "Can you please just tell us the question?"
JC: "The F15 came out of the clouds on combat power, unleashing a trail of death and lead in its wake."
RH:*laughing* I prefer his to this. This is alright but his is better.

Take 3:

RH: "All right..."
JM: "...Constable," she said, "But be gentle."
*all three crack up*
 

Blindi

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From S06E03: Wiesmann MF3 vs. TVR TUSCAN 2 (One of my favourite car tests)

At the end of Stig's lap in the Wiesmann Jezza says: "Can Germany beat Russia, to become the fastest Britain?" :mrgreen:
 

pepitko

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Last week: (V8 Blender)

Hammond: Has that beef still got bone on it?
Clarkson: yeeees (without a care in the world) It was the way he said it - typical Jezza!


Hammond: Oh God, tell me that's not an accellerator pedal! :p
And after James tasting, "I've got a name for it: The Bloody Awful!" :D
 

kurthest

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JC (2x08) driving the Nissan 350z:
"Part of the reason why Nissan's z-cars became so fat and so heavy over the years is that they were designed principally for the american market. And the ideal american car, as I'm sure you know, is an enormous sofa!"
"Think of it as being a raw hamburger curry, served in a disinterested way on a bed of garlicy juice"

JC (2x08) talking to Jodie Kidd (SIARPC):
JC: I have three donkies at home.
JK: Do you?
JC: Jeffrey, Eddie and Kristin Scott Donkey. I do, I adore my donkies, they are my life, they are everything. I just think they are fantastic.
JK: They're noisy.
JC: Depends what you do to them!

:clap::clap:
 
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Interrobang

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from S4E3 - 100 Pound Car Challange

JC: 170 BHP.
RH & JM: Yeah, but 170 tons of Volvo.

Not the best quote, but it?s just excellent how in sync Hammond and May say that. Always get?s me laughing ...
 

DaShowstoppa

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On the cool wall about the Ford GT40:

"If you turned up at someone's house in a big red American car with white stripes on it, they'd pretend to be out! "

(Unlike a navy blue one - but then Jezza's never really went anywhere did it?)


James on the Amphibious car challenge 1 : You utter pirate! (after Jezza revs his F1 Powerboat and drenches him)
 

zen21

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James May is dying...

James May is dying...

S10E01
When they tried to find the best driving road..
James May's rant about his Aston Martin N24 race car..

"Hot"
"Uncomfortable"
"Numb buttocks"
"Crushed testicles"
"Sweaty shirt"
"Sweaty pits"
"I'm now beginning to go slightly faint as a result of my dehydration"
"My ear drums are bleeding and my pelvis has been turned to dust"
"It's going to kill me"
 

shellygrrl

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"I've been killed. I've definitely been killed." ~ Jezza (followed by a RIP graphic), S6E10

Plus the ones in my signature.
 

veyya

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Learning in... My dad's Holden Vectra. Um...
One bit that cracked me up was from the Cool Wall, sometime. Actually, that's always a good laugh.

JC: "Audience, what do you think we should be changing here?"
Random dude: "The Porsche"
JC: "Uh... Which Porsche?"
Random dude: "The yellow one"
RH: "The yellow one! Things that you shouldn't say on this show..."
Don't know where that one's from. I think it was a 911, though.

And...
"My microphone!" (Jeremy gets sick of Richard's arguing and pulls it off)
"Yes, that is your microphone. And now you can't argue. (About that BMW X5 that looks like its been squished or something) Now, this is a simply atrocious car..." (Hammond gestures in the background hopelessly)
11x02, I think that was.
 
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