The best ever Clarkson,Hammond and May Quotes

GullWing

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James (from the Vietnam special):

"Every time I change down, Darcey clouts me with her breasts...
It's not a complaint; it's an observation." ;)

:lol::lol::lol:
 

Origin

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Another Vietnam quote:

Jeremy: And here we are again. It's a lovely evening in Southeast Asia, as you can see, and I'd be enjoying it... in any form of transport other than the motorbike. If somebody said to me "would you like to hop to Hanoi?" - yes, I would! *proceeds to hop along the road*


...no wonder he wanted to do a car show.

Hammond (at the Alfa Romeo Concours): We're competing?
Spyder-owning Priest: Yeah.
Hammond: As... a man... of God... you'd take it badly, I'm assuming if I were to, for instance, key it?
 
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Maarre

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Hammond: "Do you like 'Meatloaf' Jeremy?"

Jeremy: "No".

Hammond: "That's funny beacuse on this *holding up single* 'Clarkson Rocks' , that's got all of Jeremy's favorite tracks on it ...track number 2: 'Meatloaf - Bat out of hell'".

Jeremy: "That was a long time ago!"

Hammond: "Um, 2004 it says...*pointing to bottom of single* there".
 

GullWing

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Jeremy discussing the Nissan GTR in the Japan race:

"I just wish that at road speeds it would occasionally put its hand down the front of m' trousers and have a little rummage..."

:rofl:
 

MWF

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Two from James.

(About eleventy three times in the first episode of "Oz and James' Big British Adventure") "Can we go for a pint?"

Testing the GM Hiwire in 2x07 (I think) "It feels a bit unnatural, but I bet if you're from the Playstation generation you could get into this thing and drive t straightaway. On level 10. Probably."

James May - the man who made an adverb a punchline. Probably.
 

Supra MKIII

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I'm writing this by memory so they may be a bit off:

JC while revewing the MG-SV:
"Zo, ze Brrritish built a carr wiz spit und kleenex! Zey vill be crrushed."

JC while revewing the CTS-V:
"This car was planned by someone in America that came across a very rare book, an Atlas! And in that book they discovered a lot of places that weren't America, they saw that one of those places was Uoooroope, and in Uoooroope they saw Ghermany, and in Ghermany they found the N?rburgring!"

James May while driving the A-Class Diesel with the owner in the back:
JM:"May I ask why you choose the Diesel version?"
Owner:"Why not the Diesel?"
JM:"Because it's slow, noisy, rough, rumbly and it shows to everyone else that you're a bit tight."

While doing the Porsche Challenge and JC discovers a hole in his 928 fuel tank:
JC:"Well that explains the poor fuel consumption!"
RH:"And the trail of fire."

JC does a race in a Noble against Hammond in a Morgan for a lap, and bets that he can read a book before Hammond reaches the finish line (it was a children's book):
RH:"That's not a real book!"
JC:"It is a very good book, it's called A Very Hungry Caterpiler, and it comes with a caterpiler plush toy!"
-tosses it into the Morgan
JC:Watch out it doesn't eat your chassis."

JC while revewing the Rolls Royce Phantom:
"You open the door and there is a hole to put your umbrella... that's nothing special, the Skoda Superb has this... It's the only superb thing about it."

JC trying to do doughnuts in a Smart Fortwo:
"Technicaly any rwd is capable of doing this!"
- tries it, fails and gets out of the car
"I guess you need more than 1 hp."
 

kurthest

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"If you gonna buy one of these, and it's not for production yet, it's a car obviously that looks like a fish, so if you live in Cornwall dont leave it on the street, 'cause a spanish person will nick it."
6x07 - Jezza rant during the News segment.
:lol::lol::lol:
 

Interrobang

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from S6E08:

"Funny, isn?t it? When Reagachov and Gorban came here, they sorted out the cold war. We can`t even agree what makes a good, small softtop - we really are hopeless."
 
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well for me it has to be this one:

James: It's an ingenious solution to a problem that should never have existed in the first place.


pretty much sums up a lot of things happening in this world nowadays.
 

Richmondgal

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It's not from top gear, but from The F Word:

"Jeremy Clarkson is full of shit" -Clarkson

"You dissapoint me Ramsey"- James
 

JLM

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JC does a race in a Noble against Hammond in a Morgan for a lap, and bets that he can read a book before Hammond reaches the finish line (it was a children's book):
RH:"That's not a real book!"
JC:"It is a very good book, it's called A Very Hungry Caterpiler, and it comes with a caterpiler plush toy!"
-tosses it into the Morgan
JC:Watch out it doesn't eat your chassis."
What ep was that from?
 

spot101

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10x3

JC with the other end of a smoking pipe on his mouth..

RH: what are you doing man?
JC: its a 911, so the hot bit goes in the back...

seconds later...JC with burning tobbaco on his tounge...

JC: ooo, thats not gone well.....

4x2

JM: so I asked you, is I bling?

7x3

RH: I HAVE NOT GOT MY TEETH DONE!!!!
 
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