The best ever Clarkson,Hammond and May Quotes

RH : *on the Porsche GT3 RS* "That is the ULTIMATE 911"
JC : "In the same way that Ebola is the ULTIMATE tropical disease, and what's all that scaffolding. I'm sorry if I see scaffolding in a building I think "oh they haven't finished that yet." "

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On the renault espace... Not from TG.
Jeremy : "If you drive 'round in one of these with your nuclear children fastened to their individual seats, what're you saying about yerself?... : "I'm not interested in style or performance or looks or excitement... I've done my breeding (or breathing)... I've served my biological purpose. And now, I'm waiting to Die."
 
i love james' songs in the middle east special

"we three blokes from bbc2
one colour gold car one colour poo
oh, brought the wrong car, brought the right
working heater, working lights
westward going, gasket may be blowing
what a piece of sh-"

and "we three kings of orient are, one in a vauxhaull two in sports cars" :lol:
 
Ford Bloke said:
Jeremy Clarkson: Which means you can sit back and indulge yourself in what this show's all about, the absolute joy of driving a great car on a great road.
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Any hint at which episode?
Not sure if it was 11x02 with the CLK Black.
 
georgeisoff said:
Any hint at which episode?
Not sure if it was 11x02 with the CLK Black.
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That is indeed 11x02 ... Last moments of that fantastic all-time best review they've ever made ^^ ...
Just after that sentence started Giorni Dispari by Ludovico Einaudi... Really great scene that was.
 
Ayman said:
That is indeed 11x02 ... Last moments of that fantastic all-time best review they've ever made ^^ ...
Just after that sentence started Giorni Dispari by Ludovico Einaudi... Really great scene that was.
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It certainly was. Dark, yet passionate and calm. When I first listened those words from Clarkson, it was pretty obvious to me. I though it wasn't necessary since once you take a look a all of his work, you realise Driving Pleasure has been the whole point of it through his whole career. Even though after 11 seasons some complaining people had to be reminded. And because of that film I am glad he did.
 
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(Talking about the Lamborghini Reventon)
JC: But with this car you would get alot of bage..
RH: Badge....... OH NO!
JC: I think i got away with that..

(Sensible Fiesta Review)
Is it green??
..... yes.... very....

(Sensible Renault Twingo Review)
Is it green??
...... no...... its red...


So many amazing quotes! :D
 
James May('s standerd quote): "As you would imagine, i have done this properly."
 
british leyland challenge after the euro egg-cap test :

James: ive got more on the front, whys that?
Richard: because mine was.. they could only mount it on.. because i have to sit further forwards than you because im short..
James: thats what it is :lol:
 
In the classic rally of Mallorca:



james - ''Jeremy, meanwhile, was getting into the spirit of amateur rallying...''

jeremy - ''Loooser, looooser!''
 
Jeremy: Yes, he's dead, so that's ten points away there! And if you want a job on Top Gear, please write to Top Gear...
Richard: No, no wait, look! He's coming 'round!
Jeremy: He's alive!
Richard: He lives!... That's not ten points off, though. Blast.
 
93Flareside said:
Jeremy: Yes, he's dead, so that's ten points away there! And if you want a job on Top Gear, please write to Top Gear...
Richard: No, no wait, look! He's coming 'round!
Jeremy: He's alive!
Richard: He lives!... That's not ten points off, though. Blast.
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In the same spirit :

Jeremy "after an alleged May death" : So if you fancy a job on TopGear, write to us at -I'm an unbelievably dreary pedant...- ".


Also, I love the "Are you wearing that for a bet?" sequences. Especially the one where Richard actually says "No."
 
Hammond on the MX-5: "For this race im goin to be using BEATI DOGU, japanese for the ancient art of driving a sports car round a greyhound track faster than a dog."
 
Clarkson from the very first American special they did.

"If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like. You've got your Comfort Inn, you've got your Best Western and you've got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, everbody's very stupid, and everybody's very rude. It's not a holiday programme, it's the truth."

That always makes me laugh. Will probably get some negative rep for mentioning it though!
 
It`s a good one. ;D

I also like the one from my sig.
 
s13 e2 - one of my fav episodes
RH: This is genuine, genuine consumer advice...sort of...at first!

s12 e1
JC: Lorry driving is a hard job, change gear, change gear, change gear, change gear, check your mirrors, change gear, change gear, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, change gear, murder, that's a lot of effort in a day

s17 e 5
RH: I want to be a karate expert!
JC: I want an interceptor!
JM: I want a mustache...

makes me laugh every time
 
14x01 News


Hamster - It's called the Boxster Spyder, it's kindofa super lightweight version so it only weighs 1250kg top speed 166mph, 0-60 4.8 seconds. And it's that fast because it's got a very clever gearbox called a... well its...

Clarkson - Is it German?

Hamster - It's a German name so it's really complicated so can I just lemme just spell this out. It's uh D o p p e l. K, u, pp, l, u, n g, s... g... e... t. R. I e. B. E.

(I read 53 pages of this bloody thread just to discover this wasn't in it! HAH!)
 
Some quotes from the motorhome racing they did - one of my all time favourite Top Gear films.

"Great day for a race this - Friday the 13th."

"The rules were simple, 15 laps and no body contact. Mind you, we had invited touring car drivers."

"I've just seen the door from a kitchen unit on the track, and that doesn't happen at Silverstone."

"Well, I think the no contact rule needs a bit of a tweak..."
 
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:jc: "And it's not a nice noise either ... I'd rather listen to my own firing squad.".
 
9x05 Hammond:

Blimey, 14th is a bit of a sharp gear, it really goes!
 
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