Finally gave in and got myself a pair of Airpods:
I still consider them overpriced, but didn't see a real alternative for myself. I wanted small wireless earbuds to be used primarily in the gym and for running, since cables annoy me a lot there. I can't wear "proper" in-ear headphones without ear pain (tried many models with various "cup" sizes, all with the same result), and the normal Earpods seems fairly perfectly shaped for my ears.
Have been using them for a week now, and honestly I should've got them ages ago
Sound quality is very decent, they stay solidly in my ears without any danger of falling out, they hold ~4-5 hours on a charge (music only, ~2-3 hours when used as a headset for calls) and recharge very quickly from the case, that holds ~5 total charges. And the user experience is really well thought out: no need to switch anything on or off, just remove from case and plug into the ears, they connect automatically. Hold the case open near the phone, phone shows a popup with battery status (separate for the case and both earbuds). Start playback, Spotify shows the device name as playback target so you're sure it won't accidentally start blaring via phone speakers. Take one out during playback, music pauses; put it back in, playback resumes. And there's extra controls that can be mapped on earbud double-tap; defaults to Siri, I set mine to previous track (left) / next track (right). And finally, they can be paired to non-Apple devices like any other Bluetooth headset - that was the straw that made me finally give them a try.