The Onion (America's Finest News Source) Thread

freeferrarisdonotexist

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My thread is alive! Yes! :cool:



*laughs* What was the article?

I'll often times leave articles open on the browser when I let my girlfriend use it, and more often than she should, she'll read the article and go "...wait, what?"
I know that some crazy religious group used this http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28970 as "evidence" in an anti-gay marriage commercial. :lol:
 

AiR

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I hear this is the new Onion thread?

[YOUTUBE]EDWo6m5hbG4[/YOUTUBE]
 

Ironlord

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Lifted almost verbatim from what I wrote in livejournal in May...

If it's not on TV Tropes, then it damn well should be. But just in case it isn't, I am going to define "The Onion Effect" as the increasing tendency for political and religious basket cases to spout views so ludicrously extreme that a satirical article written about said basket cases becomes indistinguishable from their real views if the satirical publisher's name is removed.

I give you, as the original Trope Namer: "Christian Right Lobbies To Overturn Second Law Of Thermodynamics". I've highlighted it before in another post many moons ago, speculating that someone, somewhere out there genuinely believes what The Onion is satirising - likely as not, in the least educated and most fervently religious parts of the Confederate States.

A further example should be the truly ridiculous "sea kittens"* malarkey that I've also highlighted before - that was first published on the PETA website, but my initial reaction was "did this come from The Onion?"


* I'm not linking to this. Find it yourselves, those of you who haven't already seen it, and react with a mixture of revulsion and uncontrollable mirth.
 

ninjacoco

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NecroJoe

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One of my favorite things never make it to the website and are mostly only in the complete year anthologies as far as the books go...in the newspaper version, they always have these little picture previews of articles along the top of the page and they reference page numbers that don't exist.

The articles always were ones that made you look for them, too. :p

One of them had a picture of a dirty, disheveled Al Gore, with the title "Al Gore found alive: see page 17G" Of course, you'd want to find the story, but there wasn't a page 17G.

"Man in suit breaks into brief feminine run."
"Kitten thinks about nothing but murder all day."
"Owls are assholes."
"Chinese guy still insisting it was him in front of that tank."
"TV muted while neighbors fight."
"Mall music store files all black artists under 'Urban.'"
"Schoolchildren watch urinating horse with mounting fear and awe: see Local 2E"
"Gay comptroller tired of being referred to as 'that gay comptroller.'"
"Winner didn't even know it was a pie-eating contet: see LOCAL page 3C"
 

NecroJoe

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"Dwarf falls equivalent of 10 stories"

"Attorney, Client Privileged"

"Sex Had: see LOCAL page 11D"

"Office Casual-Day Policy Hastily Rewritten To Exclude Unitards."

Credit is due, though, for being one of the first national comedy franchises to really go full-force after 9/11.
Their first issue after the attacks on DC and NY and the crash in PENN:
"American Life turns Into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie"
"Hugging up 76,000 Percent"
"Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell."
"Rest of Country Temporarily Feels Deep Affection for New York"
"U.S. Vows To Defeat Whoever It Is We're At War With"
"Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake."
"God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule"
"Arab-American Third-Grader Returns From Recess Crying, Saying He Didn't Kill Anyone"
"President Urges Calm, Restraint Among Nation's Ballad Singers"
Point-Counterpoint: "We must retaliate with blind rage." vs "We must retaliate with measured, focused rage.
"Security beefed up at Cedar Rapids Public Library"
"Aftermath: A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Bullshit Again"
"US Urges Bin Laden To Form Nation It Can Attack."
 

AiR

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By my subscription to ONN I'm obliged to provide you with this piece of true news
[YOUTUBE]xds013bUUK8[/YOUTUBE]
 

awdrifter

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Oh noes!
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRgRz3nSG7o[/YOUTUBE]
 

Topgearfanatic

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[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMChO0qNbkY[/YOUTUBE]

Haha!
 

awdrifter

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[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hGjl3zcJMk[/YOUTUBE]

But they obviously haven't heard of this. :p
 

NecroJoe

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Only because they use umlauts. Also, Nikki, if you know any of the stories, is way more "metal" than the rest of the band...who were way more metal that half the "metal" out today.

Honestly, I was never a HUGE Motley Crue fan, and I don't read much, but damnit if the last-couple-years-recent book wasn't hilarious as hell.
 
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