Clarkson: The Weekly Times Comment Column by Jeremy Thread

dw1 said:
For those of us who don't subscribe to the Times, can someone continue to post the columns here?
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The reason no columns have been posted is because no columns have been published. Jeremy hasn't written anything for public consumption since his March 30 car column. Since then, each issue of the Sunday Times says "Jeremy Clarkson is away."
 
[h=2]I?m having another baby. But I can?t tell you what it will look like[/h]

As you may have heard, the BBC has taken my gun and my badge, and I must admit it?s all been a bit of a shock. For more than 12 years Top Gear has been my life, completely. It was an all-consuming entity, a many-tentacled global monster that was dysfunctional and awkward and mad but I loved it with a passion. I loved it like my own child. Which in many ways it was. But then, one day, I read in Her Majesty?s Daily Telegraph that my contract wasn?t going to be renewed and that they were going to give my baby to someone else.

I felt sick because after I?d lost my home and my mother, I?d thrown myself even more vigorously into my job and now, idiotically, I?d managed to lose that too. The sense of loss was enormous. I used to think about Top Gear all the time. It was a black hole at the centre of my heart. I woke every morning worrying about every single line. And I went to bed at night worrying that the changes I?d made during the day were wrong. Friends would talk to me when we were out and, though I could see their lips moving, I couldn?t hear what they were saying. My mind was always elsewhere. I was comfortably numb.
Two days before the ?fracas?, I?d been told, sternly, by my doctor that the lump on my tongue was probably cancer and that I must get it checked out immediately. But I couldn?t do that. We were in the middle of a Top Gear series. And Top Gear always came first.


The hole it?s left behind seems to stretch for eternity. And eternity is a big place. Imagine a ball of steel the size of the Earth. Now imagine a fly landing on that ball once a day, and then taking off again. When it eventually has worn the ball of steel away to nothing, that is just the start of eternity. And I?ve somehow got to fill it.
Playing patience on my laptop is not the answer. Because when you get bored, and you will, it?s still only eight in the morning and you can?t even think about going to the pub for four more hours. And then you have to decide not to go to the pub because that?s the road to ruin and despair.


So you watch the lunchtime news and it?s full of Ed Miliband doing his new Dirty Harry act and David Cameron in a hospital with his tie tucked into his shirt and his sleeves rolled up, and it?s still five hours until the start of Pointless. So you go to the shops, and for the first time you are aware that every penny you spend is coming from a pot that?s no longer being topped up. So you decide not to spend anything at all.
The only good thing is that my son is currently living with me in London, doing A-level retakes. Which means I can spend, ooh, about 16 hours a day reading about the Cold War and helping him with his creative writing coursework. But soon he will be gone, and then the yawning chasm will open up once more.


We read often about people who live on benefits, and it fills us with rage that they are sitting about with a plasma television we bought, eating chocolate biscuits that aren?t bloody well theirs. Yet after a couple of weeks in the same boat (well, all right, mine?s more of a liner), I?m beginning to develop a bit of sympathy. Because what the hell do they do all day to stay sane?
I suppose it helps when all your friends are on the dole as well. You can all hang out in the bus shelter together. But selfishly, most of my friends have jobs, which means that until eight at night I have almost no one to play with.


This means I have to make everything last for hours. I have set aside this afternoon to fill in the membership form for a local tennis club. And then I shall use all tomorrow morning to take it round. The afternoon? Not sure yet. I may organise my jumpers.


And so we get to the nub of the issue. When you are thrust into the world of early retirement, it?s no good living from day to day because then you?re just a twig in a stream. You just get stuck in an eddy till you rot. You need to have a long-term strategy. You need something that will fill the void.
But what? Squash? Really? I?m 55 years old, which means that long before I become good my knees will explode and my ears will fill up with hair. Fishing? Hmm. I?m not certain, when you?ve spent a life being chased across the border by angry mobs and shot at in helicopter gunships, that you can fill the hole by sitting on the bank of a canal, in the drizzle. It?s the same story with gardening. When your Maserati?s done 185mph you?re not going to get much of a thrill from a rhubarb growth spurt.


One of my friends, who shall remain nameless, save to say that his name begins with R and ends in ichard Hammond, decided to fill his enforced leave by training his dog. And now, after just a couple of weeks, he reports that the dog in question hates him and hides whenever he comes into the room.
Things will only get worse because recent studies have found that people who retire early stand an increased chance of developing dementia. They also live in a constant state of anxiety and will die nearly two years sooner than they might had they stayed at work.


At 55, then, you?re in a limbo land where time is simultaneously with you and against you. You are too young to put your feet up but too old to start anything new.
Which is why I have made a decision. I have lost my baby but I shall create another. I don?t know who the other parent will be or what the baby will be like, but I cannot sit around any more organising my photograph albums.
Especially as most of the pictures I have are from a fabulous chapter that?s now been closed. The child is grown. The dream is gone. I have become uncomfortably numb.
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I dunno; maybe Jeremy could fill his time reading comments in Final Gear. These would doubtless irritate him and stimulate his mind into greater activity. :)

I don't think he should give up on TG just yet; there is scope that he could be invited back after an interval. If he commits to another show then all bets are off at that stage.

Thanks, ahpadt, for posting the article.
 
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Elijah B. said:
I dunno; maybe Jeremy could fill his time reading comments in Final Gear. These would doubtless irritate him and stimulate his mind into greater activity. :)

I don't think he should give up on TG just yet; there is scope that he could be invited back after an interval. If he commits to another show then all bets are off at that stage.

Thanks, ahpadt, for posting the article.
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You sound like a guy who just got dumped and is thinking and saying "if I only do or say the right thing, she'll take me back."

Sometimes it is just better to walk away, stop trying to fix what was, and start over with someone new.
 
The one word that is missing from his column is "sorry".
 
Indeed. Can't say I'm exactly overflowing with sympathy for him right now.
 
Nice article.
It does indeed seem to be a bad age to have to reinvent oneself.
Time to wait and see.
Personally wasn't expecting an apology.
 
MWF said:
Indeed. Can't say I'm exactly overflowing with sympathy for him right now.
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Honestly, I don't see it that way. Who should he apologise to, us? Why?

The only ones he owes an apology to is the man he clobbered and the people who are directly affected by it (the whole crew). One can be quite sure he went out of his way to, at least try, and make amends.

He owes the public nothing, especially not an apology.
 
I do feel for him. Until you have faced a similar situation and see how you handle it, it is not something you can imagine.

He screwed up and he knows it. He is after all only human.

So now, he is trying to get over the damage he has caused and can't take back.

I knew what he is saying. He WAS Top Gear and now because of a stupid mistake it is no more and he probably was feeling he was no more.

When I think of a new show and what will be missing that I have loved for only 10 years, it makes me sad, so I can only imagine what Jeremy can be feeling.

The Stig is gone and I loved the Stig. The track is gone and I knew every inch and have never been on it. The studio is gone, the Toyota is gone, Eagle Head Hammer iThrust is gone. I will miss them all.

I think Jeremy should take some time and get his head in a good place, cause things are going to be different. There is going to be so much to think about. They had it good at the BBC. I don't think they will find anyplace like that again.

He doesn't need sympathy, he has probably already kicked himself half to death. Now he is beginning to pick his head up and look around to see what is left.

I don't know what that new baby could look like either, but I will be happily waiting for it, even though I am still hoping they can figure out a way to bring my TG back. It is still way too early I know, but I still think it is possible.
 
skylock said:
I do feel for him. Until you have faced a similar situation and see how you handle it, it is not something you can imagine.

He screwed up and he knows it. He is after all only human.

So now, he is trying to get over the damage he has caused and can't take back.

I knew what he is saying. He WAS Top Gear and now because of a stupid mistake it is no more and he probably was feeling he was no more.

When I think of a new show and what will be missing that I have loved for only 10 years, it makes me sad, so I can only imagine what Jeremy can be feeling.

The Stig is gone and I loved the Stig. The track is gone and I knew every inch and have never been on it. The studio is gone, the Toyota is gone, Eagle Head Hammer iThrust is gone. I will miss them all.

I think Jeremy should take some time and get his head in a good place, cause things are going to be different. There is going to be so much to think about. They had it good at the BBC. I don't think they will find anyplace like that again.

He doesn't need sympathy, he has probably already kicked himself half to death. Now he is beginning to pick his head up and look around to see what is left.

I don't know what that new baby could look like either, but I will be happily waiting for it, even though I am still hoping they can figure out a way to bring my TG back. It is still way too early I know, but I still think it is possible.
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Said it pretty much there. I'm glad he's also in a place where he knows he needs something to work on, that he's not giving up. As for cancer scares, I've been there a couple of times (thankfully a scare is all it was), and it's extremely stressful. It doesn't give him a license to clatter someone for failing to provide a steak, but it certainly can make you "snap".
 
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Tzarrim said:
Honestly, I don't see it that way. Who should he apologise to, us? Why?

The only ones he owes an apology to is the man he clobbered and the people who are directly affected by it (the whole crew). One can be quite sure he went out of his way to, at least try, and make amends.

He owes the public nothing, especially not an apology.
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So he can apologise on YouTube for not quite saying "nigger" in an out-take because his job may be in jeopardy but when he fucks over the best show on TV, over 100 regular team members, his employer which stands to lose millions annually and while we are at it, yes us, the public, the loyal fans, not a sausage, just a column of self pity without a hint of contrition?

"I'm globally famous and worth millions but I'm at a bit of a loose end right now." Well boo-fucking-hoo, cry me a bloody river.
 
Maybe he should get a youtube channel like James May has and upload some videos using really poor production values, Or maybe he could record some audio books for the web read out some of his old columns and such.
 
MWF said:
... but when he fucks over the best show on TV, over 100 regular team members, his employer which stands to lose millions annually and while we are at it, yes us, the public, the loyal fans, not a sausage, just a column of self pity without a hint of contrition?
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He already apologized to the producer that he hit; that was documented in the report. And no doubt he apologized to the production team, but did so in private. (He's of the same generation as Andy Wilman, who complained that a private e-mail sentiment got made public and turned into a resignation statement, which was plainly ludicrous.) He thanked us, the fans, for our support in the Sun. Beyond that ... no. He doesn't owe us anything more.

Top Gear isn't off the air *just* because of what JC did. Its being off the air was the result of decisions by the BBC. They could have done things differently, such as put in an emergency presenter (like Wilman in a pinch) for the audience tapings while Clarkson was on suspension. Instead, they yanked the entire show without quite realizing how big a property TG had actually become.

You cannot hold JC responsible for the thought processes of people like Danny Cohen. Telling him not to give the top brass an excuse is no good, because if they really felt strongly about it they'd be more than happy to make one up.

It seems clear, from that Times article, that (at least for now) JC is not interested in returning to Top Gear, and if we're honest with ourselves it makes perfect sense. Thirteen years is a long time for any television show to have one single presenter, and it's as good a time as any to take on projects *other* than series television.

Documentary work, for example; he did a fine job with "Inventions That Changed The World" and his military history programmes, the advantage of them being that they're one-offs. He still has some goodwill with people who could be sources of potential story ideas (the military, car enthusiasts, etc.) and if he finds another releasing company (like Netflix), he'll have some earnings potential outside of network television.
 
The Weekly Times Comment Column by Jeremy Thread

I also felt it was dripping with self pity. The fact that he is where he is right now, is 100 % his own fault. No need to feel sorry for him.

Make no mistake: I miss Top Gear and it's sad that it's gone. But it was taken from us by the man who gave us so many hours of joy - but unfortunately couldn't control his temper and didn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

He tore down with his arse what he built with his hands...
 
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I thought it was an interesting enough read in any case as it shows that he's got his mind towards doing something in the future.
There is a sort of mystery surrounding what the future holds, what will this Clarkson show be and will he be more successful than the last time he left Top Gear for very different reasons. What will happen with Top Gear and what role will Wilman, May and Hammond play in it everything to me is very interesting right now but the wait to see what happens will be quite a tense experience.
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MWF said:
So he can apologise on YouTube for not quite saying "nigger" in an out-take because his job may be in jeopardy but when he fucks over the best show on TV, over 100 regular team members, his employer which stands to lose millions annually and while we are at it, yes us, the public, the loyal fans, not a sausage, just a column of self pity without a hint of contrition?
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What makes you believe he hasn't apologised to those instances already in private? Sincere apologies come from personal approaches, not The Sunday Times columns.

The fans? "I felt sick because after I?d lost my home and my mother, I?d thrown myself even more vigorously into my job and now, idiotically, I?d managed to lose that too. The sense of loss was enormous." makes it sounds like he's pretty sorry about it, if you ask me.

TopGearNorthAmerica said:
Top Gear isn't off the air *just* because of what JC did. Its being off the air was the result of decisions by the BBC. They could have done things differently, such as put in an emergency presenter (like Wilman in a pinch) for the audience tapings while Clarkson was on suspension. Instead, they yanked the entire show without quite realizing how big a property TG had actually become.
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notsureifserious.jpeg Wilman is a producer, not a presenter.
 
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MWF said:
So he can apologise on YouTube for not quite saying "nigger" in an out-take because his job may be in jeopardy but when he fucks over the best show on TV, over 100 regular team members, his employer which stands to lose millions annually and while we are at it, yes us, the public, the loyal fans, not a sausage, just a column of self pity without a hint of contrition?

"I'm globally famous and worth millions but I'm at a bit of a loose end right now." Well boo-fucking-hoo, cry me a bloody river.
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Yes I agree with you totally. I'm sure (or hope) he has apologised privately to the team and his co-presenters for screwing up their lives comprehensively but if you are a 'broadcaster' then they are not the most important people, your viewers are...we are your 'raison d'etre' the ones who have kept TG on air and him in a job for 13 years and taken it to our hearts. We have stuck with the programme through some pretty torrid times over the last few years and then came back and supported S22 wholeheartedly. And, not to put a more finer point on it, for us in the UK we bloody well pay for it. (I know that many of you overseas have to pay your own subs etc to watch - but without the 'unique way the BBC is funded' ie a tax on every household in the country it wouldn't happen). So yes he bloody well does owe us an apology. Cohen's climate of mistrust may well have stacked the deck against him but Jeremy handed him a loaded gun pointed at his own head.
 
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