"Twiglight" to spin off to TV? Nooooooooooooo!

BlaRo

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It is my sworn duty in life to kill that man and steal Taylor Swift for myself. :x

I mean, uh, that IS the guy that she's dating or whatever, right? I dont' keep up on this tabloid crap at all. I just love Taylor Swift. :wub:

Sweet Christ-kabob you need to read this.
A C-section by chewing through the mother with your teeth? A super-baby kicking through mom's spine and ribs, crippling her? An adult werewolf that is sexually attracted to an infant vampire? Twilight has reached whole new levels of fucked-up:
http://chud.com/articles/articles/21684/1/THE-DEVIN039S-ADVOCATE-WHY-BREAKING-DAWN-MUST-BE-MADE-INTO-A-MOVIE/Page1.html?72
Robert Rodriguez needs to film this. Right. Fucking. Now.
 
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2Billion

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I go for David Cronenberg on that one. Nobody can do fucked up shit like Cronenberg.
 

Blind_Io

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Two words: David Lynch.
 

gaasc

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It is my sworn duty in life to kill that man and steal Taylor Swift for myself. :x

I mean, uh, that IS the guy that she's dating or whatever, right? I dont' keep up on this tabloid crap at all. I just love Taylor Swift. :wub:
Yo Blaro, i'm real happy for you and i'mma let you finish, but Beyonce is the best woman to love of all time, OF ALL TIME!!:p

I actually like Taylor, i like how she rose to fame without the need of becoming a prefabricated ?rock? star with paper thin disguised pop sold as rock for the sole purpose of selling records (Miley Cyrus, I'm looking at you)
 

Blind_Io

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You mean Sam "Spiderman-meets-Guys-&-Dolls" Rami?

No thank you.
 

BlaRo

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It's just that the premise of the book seems like one of those schlocky Grindhouse horror B-movies with ridiculous plots, wrapped up in some sort of slick veneer. "Breaking Dawn" should really be titled "Sex Vampires from Outer Space!" Tagline: "One vampire-spawn's pregnancy is this werewolf's forbidden love!"

I've never seen any of Cronenberg's work. But this is the sort of thing Tarantino would piss himself over as he readies a list of obscure 60s Italian horror movies to shamelessly rip off with hours upon hours of well-crafted but tedious dialogue.
 

BlaRo

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Expect more turgid prose in the strange and rare literary subgenre known as "angsty teen girl Livejournal fanfic" such as this:

Edward answered in a lifeless voice. "He thinks you're pregnant."
The words sent a warm shiver down my spine. The little nudger fluttered inside
me.

I stared out the window for a moment, but the nudger didn't respond.

Edward had just called my little nudger a thing. He said Carlisle would get it out.

I knew there was nothing left inside me, and I faintly remembered the bloody
removal scene, but the physical proof was still hard to process. All I knew was
loving my little nudger inside of me.

She was the same one I'd fought for from the beginning. My little nudger, the one who
loved me from the inside, too. Half Edward, perfect and lovely. And half me ?
which, surprisingly, made her better rather than detracting.

My baby. My little nudger.


Dear God, I can't do this anymore. Mother of God, please save me from this wretched prose. This is what girls are getting moist all over? I fear for the future of our species.
 

Blind_Io

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Who the hell writes in the first person? The author clearly needs psychiatric services and immediate medication.
 

2Billion

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Who the hell writes in the first person? The author clearly needs psychiatric services and immediate medication.
If someone knows what they're doing, writing in first person can allow the author can do interesting things with an unreliable narrator, or even just use the perspective in compelling ways.

As Meyer does not know what she's doing, the above does not apply.
 
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BlaRo

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Who the hell writes in the first person? The author clearly needs psychiatric services and immediate medication.
Plenty of great authors wrote in first-person view: they just don't suck at it like Meyer does. They manage to use its specific characteristics to their advantage, either through a folksy, working class or child's viewpoint, or through an unreliable narrator that adds another layer of deliberately ambiguous meaning to the text.

Meyer, however, uses it to describe eating burnt chicken.
 

Blind_Io

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Ok, clearly I was hasty about the first person thing. It's clearly something for a much more advanced writer, not some housewife with a high school education.
 
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