What would you do in case of a TopGearesque scenario

blue2fire

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Sep 16, 2008
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Example from E90 Post:
i was at the mall this afternoon, driving around in my wifes 325xi looking for a parking spot... when finally one opened up... i patiently waited for the car in the spot to pull out. just as the car was out of my way, a woman in a A6 flew in front of me and took the space.... i couldn't believe it.... i waited until she got out of the car and very politely told her i had been waiting for that spot. she shrugged her shoulders and locked the car... i kept my calm, and and we exchanged a few words... mainly by her calling my car a "piece of shit", and telling me i had a big nose... i don't... at least i don't think so.... a few more now heated words were exchanged... i commented at what wonderful language she was using in front of her young daughter.... i kept my cool, but i was steaming... as i go to pull away the car behind me had decided to go around me and i turned right into his door. smashed my fender and bumper cover... all i could hear was her laughing as she and her daughter walk away...AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! i considered giving her car a few new 'pinstripes' with my key, but decided i was better than that.. even though it would have made me feel better. i have been banging my head against the steering wheel all afternoon... she got the space, and the last laugh... it's killing me.... i'm sooo depressed. i had to vent somewhere... i'm off to the body shop monday... the other other thing that tweaked me is that in less than three weeks this car is coming off lease. what a freaking hassle.


This matches with Audi's new image (so TopGear is right), No?
 
Cocks drive audis.
That's true. I had similar experience yesterday when i was waiting a bus to pull out of bus stop. Audi A6 was behind me and pushed his horn down and went past. Audi almost crashed with car on the next lane.

Hope you can understand my point. My English is rubbish :D
 
Hope you can understand my point. My English is rubbish :D

better than my Finnish :D My experience is that anyone who drives something perceived as 'expensive' ie Audi's, BMW and even 180E Mercedes drive as if the road is there for their sole benefit.

I went out yesterday with my family, loaded them into the car, go to reverse out of my drive way and some knob in a 180E pulls up opposite my house in a no parking zone. I can't now get out of my driveway, so get out and ask him, not politely, what he thinks he is doing. His response was that he was parking his car, I explained he now prevented me from leaving my driveway, he shrugged to which I explained that his car was worth more than mine, he was parked illegally and if I happened to dent every panel down the side of his car, smashing all the windows as I reversed out my driveway, so sad too bad.

He moved his car.
 
In moments like these I wonder whether I would sacrifice a few hundred Euros for hitting someone in the face. I think I might... :think:
 
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Example from E90 Post:
i was at the mall this afternoon, driving around in my wifes 325xi looking for a parking spot... when finally one opened up... i patiently waited for the car in the spot to pull out. just as the car was out of my way, a woman in a A6 flew in front of me and took the space.... i couldn't believe it.... i waited until she got out of the car and very politely told her i had been waiting for that spot. she shrugged her shoulders and locked the car... i kept my calm, and and we exchanged a few words... mainly by her calling my car a "piece of shit", and telling me i had a big nose... i don't... at least i don't think so.... a few more now heated words were exchanged... i commented at what wonderful language she was using in front of her young daughter.... i kept my cool, but i was steaming... as i go to pull away the car behind me had decided to go around me and i turned right into his door. smashed my fender and bumper cover... all i could hear was her laughing as she and her daughter walk away...AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! i considered giving her car a few new 'pinstripes' with my key, but decided i was better than that.. even though it would have made me feel better. i have been banging my head against the steering wheel all afternoon... she got the space, and the last laugh... it's killing me.... i'm sooo depressed. i had to vent somewhere... i'm off to the body shop monday... the other other thing that tweaked me is that in less than three weeks this car is coming off lease. what a freaking hassle.


This matches with Audi's new image (so TopGear is right), No?

Memorize her license, check it with a call to one of those services that tell you the name and address of the cars owner, then go and take a dump in her mailbox.
 
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I'm not sure if this counters the cock image about BMW drivers established by the "TG increased my sex life thread".
But it does establish the Audi drivers are cocks.
Maybe this one would work:
"BMW drivers in the US of A are cocks, and outside the US, they arn't cocks.

Sorry to hear that happened to your car, and I'm glad you kept your cool.
 
I would have written a note about some dog poo in her car and she would flip out about it and go berserk trying to look for it.
 
+rep. Hope that cheers you up.
 
the fact she was using such foul language in front of her daughter pretty much proves the point entirely. anyone who finds it ok to swear in front of their kid is going to register high on the cock-o-meter. i wouldn't worry, the amount of bad karma generated by that will eventually slap her in the deserving face.
kudos to you for keeping your cool though, doubt i would've managed that. probably would've got out of the car, grabbed the head and bounced it off the car. a head that thick would do enough damage to the bodywork.
 
God, I would so shout at her for being a self-centred whore. My fuse is very short, and I haven't shouted at someone for a while. And if she wouldn't move her car, I would've definitely gave her car some nice new stripes.
 
if you're going to retaliate, the only way for her to get the point would be to destroy the car entirely. Difficult, but I'm sure it can be managed without having the bobbies knocking on your front door.
 
Not really sure this counts as Top Gear 'esque'..

Pulling into the pits after karting and very precisely crashing into the back your mate in the kart in front as he's trying to get out, yes.

Writing cock on the back of a mates car before he drives hundreds of miles, yes.

Blocking all the lanes of a motorway with the cars in your convoy while someone in a car ahead films it, yes.

The tension in sitting in a bar having left your mate in his steaming car at the side of the road, wondering if he'll turn up, yes.

Some road rage and an accident.. no.
 
I would have slashed two tires, both on the passengers side, so the woman wouldn't notice until she arrived home with nothing more than the alloy wheels all dented by the tarmac.
 
The key is to not keep arguing as you did.


Cram as much profanity and insults as you can into a 10 second window, then gently drive off. Trying to reason with idiots will only frustrate you and lead to what happened in your case.
 
What you should have done is park directly behind her car, blocking her in, and then go for a nice looooong meal. Well, after punching her right in her bitchy little face of course.
 
In high school, some friends of mine carried catfish "dip bait" and rubber surgical gloves in their car. They would put it under peoples door handles or smear some in the cabin air vents at the base of the windshield. The stuff smelled nasty and would stay on your fingers for a long time (hence the gloves).
 
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