You know you...

You know your keyboard should not be smoking like that when one hand is on the mouse and the other is on *ehm*
Your aim was a little off :p

You know that it's going to be a bitch to clean up when...
 
You know that it's going to be a bitch to clean up when a dirty bitch is lying on the floor. :p

You know you should stop watching that DVD when...
 
You know you should stop watching that DVD when your Mom comes by the house.

You know that winter is near the end when...
 
You know that winter is near the end when you don't have to spend 45 minutes defrosting the car just so you can get a door open.

You know that something is wrong when...
 
You know that something is wrong when you hear the funny clunking sound while driving.

You know that a bird in the hand is worth nothing when...
 
You know that a bird in the hand is worth nothing when he bites off your fingers and craps on your palm

You know cats are useful when...
 
You know cats are useful when they keep mice away.

You know you wish had a cat when...
 
You know you wish had a cat when it's a cold night and you need some self heating kitties to help warm you up

You know that two cats are on the bed when...
 
You know that two cats are on the bed when it is a bed of lettuce with some garlic, onion, and they are deep fried.

You know that garlic does not work on zoombies when...
 
You know that garlic does not work on zombies when, despite your garlic suit, garlic hat, garlic chewing gum, garlic shoes, and garlic jewellery, there is still a zombie nomming on your brain.

You know you should have ducked when...
 
You know you should have ducked when that hunter fired that shot gun at you - splat.

You know you should have gone armed with a Bren Gun when. ...
 
You know you should have gone armed with a Bren Gun when you don't know that shotgun is one word.

You know Alaskarat has his .45 1911 out when....
 
You know Alaskarat has his .45 1911 out when every one within a 16 block radius has ducked.

You know that your state is famous when it's on the TV programme. ...
 
You know that your state is famous when it's on the TV programme Famous States.

You know that lazy Saturday is lazy when...
 
You know that lazy Saturday is lazy when you watch shows about Alaska a Famous State.

You know tourist season is about to start when...
 
You know tourist season is about to start when the train load of printed T-Shirts, mugs, beer holders, spoons, placecards, postcards etc ad nauseum rolls into town.

You know that it's time to be up and at 'em when...
 
You know that it's time to be up and at 'em when during the First World War a whistle was blown and the officers would shout that before the attack. Meaning up out of the trenches and attack boys.

You know history sucks when...
 
You know history sucks when the teacher refuses to give you your test results in class, and instead insists that you see her after school. You are then counselled on the F you received. She told you that, although what you wrote was interesting and humourous, it actually had nothing to do with all the death and destruction you should have been writing about. You now have to write an essay as additional work to pass the class.

You know that the irish accent is rather sexy when...
 
You know that the Irish accent is rather sexy when you drink a few too many pints.

You know someone might notice you farted when....
 
You know someone might notice you farted when the pot plant behind you starts to shrivel and die

You know that you should have gone back to sleep at 4am instead of waking up when...
 
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