You have a nonna. - Not now, but back then, definitely.You Know you?re Italian when:
You can say 110 degrees without fainting...
You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off... - Exaggeration, but spicy food FTW!
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron...
The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly...
You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car...
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window...
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance...
Hot water now comes out of both taps...
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets...
You actually burn your hand opening the car door...
You break a sweat the instant you step outside...at 7:30 a.m. before work...
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning... - I still don't understand people who get leather and don't put some kind of heat-proof seat cover on it. You'll burn your bum. Oh, and the only reason not to have A/C is in a car...because racecar.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"...
When you're from Texas, people that you meet ask you questions like, "Do you have any cows?" "Do you have horses?" "Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh?" They all want to know if you've been to Southfork. They watched "Dallas."
You know that nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner. - Maybe there's one in West Texas, but the ones everywhere I've been on the eastern two-thirds of the state usually have at least a little (if not a lot) of curvy win.
A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle--they do get stuck.
Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
People really grow and eat okra. - Sidenote: I hate okra...and gravy and ranch dressing, for that matter. But people eat it here (which is nasty).
Green grass DOES burn.
When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You measure distance in minutes.
You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper. - Actually, I know which ones don't make good TP. You learn that or you ITCH.
You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas.
There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population over 1000.
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop .. it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.
You can drive for a full day and still be in Texas.
Your school just MIGHT shut down because it MIGHT snow...
You're damn proud of your Tex-Mex and you leave the state and their Mexican food tastes like... taco bell... try to explain Tex-Mex to them, educate them, Tex-Mex is life.
You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Decatur, Wichita Falls, Burnet, Gruene, Boerne, New Braunfels, Nacogdoches, Mexia, Waco, Amarillo, and Waxahachie.
You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
You know people who put ranch dressing on everything. - And holy crap, that is DISGUSTING.
You have known someone who has had a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. - Actually, this is a trade-off. Trees mean birds, and birds will poop on your car. If it's a hotter than Satan's ballsack out, though, sometimes the tree is worth the risk.
You discover that in July it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
You find 90 degrees F "a little warm."
You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.
Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department - The one here doesn't (it's tiny), but the larger ones/Mexican markets do. Nopales FTW.
You laugh at the phony Texan accents in TV/movies - Maybe not laugh so much as cringe. I don't know a lot of people with really noticeable accents. Most of the really twangy people I know are relatives in East Texas.
You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water...
You eat tacos for breakfast
You think Dr. Pepper is the best damn coke in the world
Getting stuck in the mud is a challenge, not an avoidance - To get stuck in mud, first you have to have mud. To have mud, you must have moisture...see where I'm going with this? It's a lot easier in storm season, though.
We panic when there is an inch of snow on the ground
You've been trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside.
When it rains, everyone is smiling.
Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.
It is the middle of winter and the AC is running
About 90% of those apply to me, so I'd say that is a fairly accurate list.Searching for these lists on Texas just makes my brain hurt. Most seem to be written for small towns in the 1950s, which...isn't Texas. Not all of Texas, anyway. So, I picked out the ones that actually make sense for all of the state:
85 is perfect weather, man! :lol:About 90% of those apply to me, so I'd say that is a fairly accurate list.I remember being in North Dakota last summer at the company golf tournament, and listening to people complain about how hot it was. It was about 85 degrees and sunny, which felt like a pleasant cool day to me.
* you think getting up early is good. - Yep, at 0600 every day, even at the weekends. Sleeping more than 5 hours is a waste anyway.You know you're a Swiss when...