I'll do another one due to dual-citizenship:
You know you're Israeli when....
1. There?s something wrong with your nose.
Kinda. Not in the stereotypical way.
2. Your mother is crazy and a psycho path.
Sometimes. I will go no further.
3. Your mother got mad and hit you with kafkafim, the shoev avak, a hanger, belt, the broom, or the mop.
Hell. No.
4. You definitely have someone in your family named Shlomo, Moshe, David, or Yosef.
My middle name is David. So there.
5. Your house smells mad good when you come home on Friday.
YES. My mother bakes Challah every Friday as just one part of Shabbos Dinner.
6. Your mom is crazy about cleaning or has a maid to do it for her.
Not so much.
7. You HAVE to take of your shoes before you come in or go upstairs.
Not in my house.
8. You cant go one morning without your Nes Cafe or Shokoleet.
There was a time.
9. You know someone who works with cell phones.
A few, actually.
10. You own or smoke nargilah very often.
My parents would KILL me.
11. Your family is always fighting for the stupidest reasons
Yes.
12. You own or wear a Magen David, a Chai, or IDF necklace.
No jewelery
13. You love speaking in Hebrew to your fellow israelis.
Always.
14. When you're in Israel, you have to eat a Samboosak after a night out.
Either Sambusak or Sabich. Usually Sabich cause I like it better.
15. Your very loud and then blame it on being Israeli.
Every once in a while.
16. You have a huge attitude problem
Yes.
17. You?re stubborn as hell
Yep.
18. You go to Israel almost every summer vacation
I wish.
19. You've been to Eilat, Yam Hamelach or the Kineret at least once
once? 10+ at least.
20. You would take Burger-Ranch over anything, anyday.
Not over local Shawarma.
21. You love going on the El-Al planes and always finding someone you know.
Always.
22. Your Grandma in Israel always makes you eat by force.
I wish I had a grandma in Israel. They both live here.
23. Your teachers have a hard time saying either your first or last name.
Ha. sometimes.
24. You love Bamba and Bissli.
Bamba would kill me but Bissli is good stuff.
25. You like most of the Sarit Hadad or Eyal Golan songs.
A few.
26. If there's any Hebrew music in a party, you know all the words.
There isn't much so yeah it's easy.
27. Sometimes you only dance with your guy best friends in an Israeli party.
mmm nope.
28. Everytime you piss off your Mom she yells "Inal Abuk," "Ya Chatichat Zevel," or "Ya Behema"
Mom yells in english.
29. Your parents can never say shut up but instead say "Sharrap"
see above.
30. Your mom always shops at the neariest Israeli Makolet
Yes. Thank god.
31. Your parent's friends are like family and you've hung out with their children since birth.
Yep.
32. Your parents have a million Israeli friends.
Some. not that many.
33. You have the Israeli Channel and always hear "Chayeem America.... Margisheem Yisrael"
I WISH. Just found out this is a thing.
34. You've watched at least one episode of "Lagat Ba'Osher," "Mishcak Ha'Chayeem," or "Michaella"
Not a fan but yes.
35. You always open your refrigerator to find Milki, Gvinat Emek, or Prigat
Too expensive here in 'Muricah
36. You tell really long meaningless stories/jokes that no one finds funny
Welcome to my life.
37. You love using the words "Manyak," "Ben Zona," and "Kussemec" for no reason.
Fuck yeah ya benzonah kushomo motzetz ta'zayin shel imma shelcha!
38. You know someone who's an Israeli car dealer or autoparts salesman.
Only in Israel.
39. Every time you go to Israel, you have to get a Shoko Besakeet
It's the first thing I do every time I get off the plane. MUST HAVE SHOKO BESAKIT.
40. You love eating Levavot or Sheeshleek in Israel
Also out of israel it it's kosher.
41. You've been to at least one Israeli Concert
At least one?
42. You own at least one thing from Fox, Castro, or TNT
Am I a woman?
43. You love going to the Kenyoneem in Israel
this is fun.
44. You own at least one pair of Diesel Jeans from Israel
i do not.
45. You have A|X shirts but dont want to wear them that much because the Bucharians do.
I'm not a fucking Ars.
46. You know all the words to Ha'Sod, Ha'Finali, or Yeled Rechov
Is this a problem?
47. Everybody around you smokes in Israel all the time.
Everyone knows this.
48. You use the words "Mami," "Neshama," or "Kapara" every other sentence when speakin to a girl.
I'm not a girl so now.
49. You've you been to at least one Bar Mitvah in Colbeh
I have.
50. Your family loves eating at Grill Point, Pita Hot, or Hapisgah
Heard of these places but never been.
51. You crack up at the beach listening to the guy selling the Ices scream "Shoko Banana, Shoko Shoko, Tuti Fruti, Arteek!"
I love the popsicle man. Always clutch with the dry-ice covered cheap popsicles. the only time i ever had a mint popsicle.
52. Yo never understand if the lifeguard was screamin to you in Israel because he just says "Yeled, Tazuz Me'HaSla'eem"
hahah yeah.
53. You still watch Arutz HaYeldeem when you go to Israel.
good times.
54. You cracked up when you first heard the name Guy Penis and you thought they were kidding.
Of course I did. (he's an israeli TV personality by the way and it's the best name ever.