[12x07] December 14th, 2008

[Viper007Bond]

http://www.finalgear.com/shows/topgear/12/7/

[Aston Martin]

"Wizards sleeve, pork sword and cock."

JK's bag, what the fuck was that about?

Jezza really wants to bang Will Young doesn't he? "Has Will Young ever appeared in Vegas? He's a nice chap."




p.s. I mentioned the umbrella first. (In my mind he was refering to me... so thankyou Jezza and Wilman.)

[Peter3hg]

Good episode. These episodes without a main segment are usually good but not epic.
The Morris Marina people aren't going to be happy.
What was with the large holdall JK had?

[Donington]

Anyone else noticed that the Jag landed on an Austin Princess as well?

[Plissken]

Pork sword almost slayed me. As did "those damned helicopter piano carrying services next door" or whatever that was.

I don't think it was a good episode of TG as there was a lot of cocking about, but it was a hilarious hour nonetheless.

The Clarity bit was brilliantly written, I even liked Lenos point about replacing horses and the final line was superb. These guys might act like idiots, but they are very smart journalists.

Oh and....



"Hello."

[iam-nobody]

I thought i would hate this ep but really liked it thought James film was really well done.
Think top gear should be moved to 9pm or at least show a different version for the repeat and move the repeat to 9 because it felt they could get away with a little bit more this episode then normal.
But with Johnathon Ross being off the air wish they gave Tom Jones to the one show he was really boring me.

[Mike Bull]

Good solid episode, without being stunning. Vietnam special next, woo-hoo!

[Blythy]

was no fiesta in a shopping centre, but nice to see leno on - finally..... he has a really really square head. Where was the golden cock? In an audi?

now... what the hell was in jk's bag? He been driving lorries?

oh yeah, no top gear for 2 weeks

[pebblepixie]

Oh Lord, they killed another Morris Marina.

Someone's gonna go


I think I might have broken something medically important laughing at the news.

[LadyBella]

I don't know why but I was just bored almost the entire way through. Tom Jones bored me (Sad! I love his music.), the first part with the touring cars really bored me. Hell even the news bored me.

And I still don't like Top Gear Stuntman, he's useless.

I won't vote until I see it a second time but for now it just gets a 5/10 for me under initial reaction.

now... what the hell was in jk's bag?

Some say that JK brought them all presents, and James' was a pair of pink sunglasses. All we know is, it's probably going to be a deleted scene.

[Smörgåsbord]

JK's bag, what the fuck was that about?

Jay Kay brought a load of presents for the boys, unfortunately it all got cut out.

ETA: Let's see how many of these I can remember:
• James got a heart-shaped pair of pink sunglasses
• Richard got a T-shirt saying "Blow Job is Better Than No Job"

I think they got two presents each...I've forgotten the rest at the moment but will edit if they come back to me.

[LindenChase]

Hmmm, I really don't know how to vote for this one.

God, I hope Jonathan Ross will be back on the air for the next series, so they can stay clear of SIARPC's plugging their latest albums or films. Boring, even with Tom Jones.

Lot of fooling around, but that's probably because this was the latest studio episode. Ther news and the awards were fun, but I didn't care much for the rocking chair.

James is really turning into the next Raymond Baxter. Bring back Tommorrow's World! And wow, they ought to do a whole segment about Leno's cars. James claim that he had a similar set up next to his house "except a bit smaller", made me giggle. Leno seemed to believe him.

[zaybxcwd12]

And I still don't like Top Gear Stuntman, he's useless.

Guess coming in 2nd in a world record attempt is pretty lame. Theres no prizes for 2nd place.

[alihaig]

I thought it was a good episode overall, seemed to flow better than some that are dominated by 1 big segment. I liked that there were 2 almost educational films in the touring cars and Clarity. Plus there was plenty of time for hilarity as well.

The Tesla looked good and given his views on electric cars, I thought Clarkson gave it a pretty fair hearing. Showed the big flaw in all the arguments about electric cars having enough range for everyday use - it might be good 90% of the time but I can't afford another car for the infrequent but important trips I make that are more than 250 miles, and I'm not going to wait for a 16 hour charge half way.

[Speedtouch]

The touring car segment was certainly a fun way to start the show. Brought in slowly, it had plenty of crashes to fill us with joy. I do agree entirely with what was said, too. The BTCC was the original best motorsport. And it is such a shame in the recent years it has fallen behind. I think the 80s and 90s were certainly something of a pinnacle for that motorsport. I laughed hard at the final crash too. The guy gets out after a monster crash then just stumbles a bit. A proper racing driver for sure.

The news was continuing the 'well on track' theme. Very funny, to the point, and full of amusing parts. Although maybe a tad too far with the final products. Not as good as the last 'Christmas gifts' section in series 10.
And the bringing back of the V8 was brilliant too. As soon as he started it it was clear that this application of such a motor was...not adequate to say the least.
SIARPC. Hmm. Now this was much worse for want of a better phrase. From the start Clarkson mentioned the CD, and that 'that was why he was here'. Now this has been the single reason why the SIARPC have been so good recently. NO PLUGGING. Frankly, they failed here. The interview was uninteresting, he was boring and the lap time was pretty bad too. We need more Kevin McClouds - unknown to some, unwanting of huge fame and a great guy. That is all we ask. Even if they don't like cars that much, they can still be brilliant.

The Tesla segment was much better. A nice car, and the review wasn't clouded by the fact it was an 'eco' car. An honest review, showing the reasons why it is such an important car, but also showing the points that you don't hear anywhere else, or think about. The tyres for instance - who thought they would be a problem? No-one. Because everyone else has tunnel vision towards the exhaust pipe. Or rather lack of it. Excellent videography too.

The stunt was a nice way to 'get it back' from 5th Gear. Or not. Sure they failed, but it was a hilarious way of doing it. Crashing cars (as proved in the touring car segment) is fun, and is always welcome. No worries about the consequences, and nice to see a controlled use of the stunt-man this time, not trying to instigate him into the show like the Stig is.

Finishing off with the FCX was a nice way to end. Like the Tesla, it wasn't stuck in 'lets hate the eco cars' mode, and in 'lets see what we can come up with about a new car' mode. Again as with the Tesla review, a nice honest review, with excellent videography, and some nice volleyballers too. And very nice to see Jay Leno's garage too. Some immense set up he has there! The phrase James used at the end tells it how it is I think. "The reason its the car of the future, is because its just like the car of today."

Overall, I'll give it an 8.5/10. Heading VERY close to a 10, but seriously let down by the SIARPC. Shame.

[Ironlord]

And more Morse nonsense to amuse the internet...

One: I LIKE GARY NEWMAN (who is a video game programmer, or a photographer, or an illustrator... but definitely not the bloke who wrote Cars...)

Two: THAT PORK TASTED FUNNY (should have stuck to the beef, Stiggie!)


So, onto the rest of it: much talk has there been of the Tesla on FG, and it's good to have seen it in action, informing those TG watchers who don't hang around here that electric cars don't have to be nasty, tiny, slow, misery-inducing shiteboxes that keep the eco-loonies happy.

And those who didn't watch James May's Big Ideas *and* aren't regularly pestered by Honda's Dream magazine (that's a dubious perk of being a Honda owner) might not have heard of the FCX Clarity. Now, my 2007 Civic Type S has a Clarkson-unapproved paraffin stove under the bonnet - but that's what works best for me right now. If I haven't been banned from driving along with everyone else in the UK because of the cancerous spread of speed cameras which resort to ever more Big Brother-like tricks by the end of next decade, I see the ideal next car. Or, at least, the successor to the current FCX will be. And I wonder how a Lotus Elise with a fuel cell might work out, given that we've effectively just seen a battery-powered version. Or, say, a fuel cell-powered Formula 1 car. That is where the loss of Honda may well be felt at its sharpest!

On that note, actually, you should all go back and watch the episode where James tests the new Vauxhall Vectra. "Not the next one, and probably not the one after that..." - the GM Hy-wire. See, TG can do sensible pieces about real cars of the future. Although what happens to the Hy-wire with GM in such a crippling financial mess, US government bail-out or not, is anyone's guess.

Top Gear Stuntman's latest failure: bah.

News: it must be christmas! Certainly it was for the bunch of girls in the audience that Hamster fell into... but not for the Morris Marina owners' club. Ha! You know, for whatever reason I held off posting on the Morris Marina thread... but James said exactly what I was thinking all along. Keep one Marina in a museum somewhere as a shining example to the rest of the world of How Not To Do It! The Marina owners' club will one day see the error of their ways and stop crowing about how Jezza is a disgrace to Britain... clearly his hero-worship of the E-Type has gone unnoticed at Marina HQ, or how he pointed out that it is possible to support the British car industry by buying a Honda (built in Swindon) or a Nissan (built in Sunderland), and he was rather fond of the Noble M12, and one of the episodes of Car Years was dedicated to pointing out what went wrong with the whole British Leyland experiment, why it shouldn't have gone wrong and who was to blame... I wonder how the Marina owners' club would react to a Triumph enthusiast dropping a Rover 3.5-litre V8 into a Stag, which is exactly what should have happened but some blithering incompetent screwed up somewhere down the line and ruined the Stag for everyone when it should have been a brilliant, brilliant car... but wasn't. I bet they'll respond with suitably misguided apoplexy.

And the BTCC: I used to watch that almost religiously in the 1990s, when just about all the major manufacturers were involved... and lost interest in 2000 when they all pulled out again, and has Ford, Vauxhall and Honda running three cars each with an ill-thought-out "Group N" racing alongside the independent teams. That said, with only Vauxhall in the 2009 manufacturers' championship, that's looking even worse... still, maybe Rubens Barrichello and Jenson Button could get hold of a couple of Civic Type Rs and have a crack at it next year?

(Yes, I know the Type R isn't allowed in as it is and Team Halfords had to transplant all the Type R innards into a standard five-door Civic to enter which cost them too much and the car wasn't competitive enough. Even a fraction of Honda's F1 budget would be enough to send them hurtling to the top of the field...)

And finally: Jay Leno, and his gargantuan and thoroughly marvellous collection of cars: Håpla!

[Wyvern]

Another slightly patchy episode, but enjoyable. It wasn't classic Top Gear, but it was a good hour's entertainment.

I was in real, actual, physical pain by the end of the News because I was laughing so hard. It had all started to degenerate rather badly once James got hold of his 'pork sword' (this, however, was a good thing...). Some of the segments were a bit random but they did hang together quite well, and I was glad JC gave the Tesla a fair chance, even though it did just go to show that the technology isn't quite perfect yet. It did make a natural partner to the Clarity film, which I found very absolutely fascinating, if not set-your-pants-on-fire exciting. The studio segments felt a bit chaotic in places though. The whole thing had a bit of a 'last day of term' feel about it to me, as if everyone had let their hair down and gone a little bit wild (it's probably just as well they were airing after the watershed, because if that was the stuff that was safe to air, had they been going out pre-watershed there would have been no show left...). Then again, given the schedule they've been attempting to maintain over the last few weeks, I don't suppose it's all that surprising. Hopefully, they won't be quite so over-burdened when the next series rolls around, and bringing it to our screens won't be quite the hellish task Andy Wilman described in his blog a couple of weeks ago.

And we still have Vietnam to go

[Muddle& GoesNowhere]

Can't say this episode was that brilliant, except for the touring cars. You can see part of the 70s Camaro vs Escort vs HB Viva here:
[YOUTUBE]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kY5zdnGvT0c[/YOUTUBE]

Would have liked it if they'd done just a bit more with it - tried out a Camaro vs Escort race or something on track as well as the Jag, rather than a bit of a damp squib of a joke at the end of the segment. But then again, I love the BTCC so would say that!

News was funny - maybe pushing it a bit far with innuendos. However I did liked the Marina bit!

I didn't find the V8 funny the first time, it's something I'd expect from a lesser channel's weekend kid's show. Funny, but not what I expect from TG.

SIARPC: Bearable, but in the edits we see, Jeremy tends to talk over the guests too much! Granted, not that many of them have much to say, but you never know.

Tesla - One of the better bits. Quite a good review. Well shot, and the traditional TG See-Saw Review made it one of the better parts of the ep.

Stunt bit was OK. Amusing with the reference to 5th G, but was a bit of a let down after they failed!

Clarity - Would have preferred this to be earlier in the show. Not the usual "On that bombshell" type ending; especially considering the Fiesta Finale last week.


Still better than anything else on, but a bit hit & miss. Let's hope the 'Naam ep can pull it back!

[shancmf]

The whole thing had a bit of a 'last day of term' feel about it to me, as if everyone had let their hair down and gone a little bit wild

My thoughts exactly! It was a great laugh though, if not incredibly random - wizards arm anyone?! & Jay Kays bag...that puzzled me, wonder if they'll put that bit up on the website? Wasn't too keen on the touring cars segment, but loved the Clarity film, James May & Jay Leno, happy days! I thought it was a good episode all in all

Now, bring on Vietnam!

[petrolvains]

Great episode Fave bits had to be the tesla,touring cars and the clarity and lets not forget the marina I just had a look on the marina owners forum they have gone up a 100 members in the past hour

Surely they should be thanking top gear getting everyone intrested..