"Okay, Jeremy Clarkson, Who’s The Slow Coach Now?"

[Speedtouch]

Another great article from Francie Clarkson (Jeremy's wife) in The Sunday Times' 'In Gear' section.

Last month my husband Jeremy made some disparaging remarks about rallying while reviewing the new Subaru Impreza WRX STi. According to him, rallying is “a sport for the terminally gormless”.

Not only that but a person (and by that I think he meant a normal, non-professional driver) who thinks rallying is fun and who indulges his passion in his spare time “breathes through his mouth and has short legs, no forehead and one, possibly lacerated, eye”.

Now, my legs could do with being a few inches longer, I’ll admit, and perhaps that is why I find rally driving quite fun.

My only claim to fame in the sport is that I once beat Richard Burns, the British 2001 World Rally champion who died in 2005. He was in a Toyota Celica GT-Four and I had a Lancia Delta HF Integrale. We were competing on hazardous mountain roads but I had the advantage of knowing the course. Also, while I’d had a couple of beers, I was nothing like as drunk as he was.

The trouble is that this was on the Sega Rally machine in our barn, but a few weeks later Richard demonstrated his real skill in a World Rally Championship Subaru Impreza on a real mountain road in Wales.

From my spot in the navigator’s seat I was too short to see over the dashboard, and once I’d been strapped in, even breathing became a challenge. With the coolness of a fridge full of cucumbers, Richard threw the car up the hillside, one hand on the wheel, moving it only minimally, his other working the sequential gearlever while his feet did a Riverdance over the pedals.

The engine noise, coupled with the constant rattle of stones hitting the underside of the car, was deafening. I came out at the end of our run numb and tingling at the same time. My admiration for his driving skills was immense.

So, when I was offered the chance to get behind the wheel and drive a rally car for myself, my first reaction was: “I can’t possibly.” Then I remembered Jeremy’s comments and thought: “Actually I most certainly can.”

As I see it, rally driving is a bit like ski jumping or flying a helicopter: not something that keen first-time amateurs can just have a go at. You have to be taken, like Lewis Hamilton, from your cradle and trained in the art.

My initial misgivings were confirmed as I arrived at Rockingham race circuit. I would be driving Citroën’s C2-R2 Max. This is the entry-level car and an evolution of the C2-R2, which will be competing in a one-make rally championship in the UK this year, for the second time, alongside the British Rally Championship.

For budding rally drivers this is the easiest route into the sport. All they need to do is gain their race licence, buy a C2-R2 from a Citroën Motorsport dealer and register for the championship.

As I was handed my overalls I asked another of the participants whether he was having a go at driving the car. “Oh no,” he said, “I haven’t got my race licence.” Um, too late to put my hand up – I’d just have to wing it.

First off, I was to be driven round by the mercifully calm and softly spoken Northern Irish rally driver Kris Meeke. Once I was belted in, he showed me around the modified C2. The interior is totally stripped out, with just a roll cage and two racing seats. Any resemblance to the road version of this car has gone. The steering wheel, sequential gearlever and handbrake lever are of industrial strength and look crudely fit for purpose. There are no carpets or panels in the reinforced body shell and no back seats either.

The engine is started with an ignition switch on the modified dashboard. Meeke explained the movement up and down of the sequential gearlever. For reverse, you need to engage the clutch, but once you are going forward you can run up and down through the gears without ever using it.

He also talked me through the rev counter, which he informed me went to 7800rpm before the red light glared at you and told you to change up. He explained that he never looked at the dial and knew when to change gear through a feeling in his bottom.

Our course was predominately tarmac with one long loose-gravel section; in all, less than a mile. There were no major obstacles; just a few cones marking our way. As Meeke drove he explained where to brake and which line to take when entering the loose-gravel section. As Burns had done, he made it look easy, and even though we were hurtling around a tight little circuit at speeds of up to 100mph, I never felt any cause for alarm. Well, not until it was time for us to swap seats and for me to have a go.

I started up the engine, put it into first and tentatively started to accelerate. Meeke encouraged me to increase my speed, and at the point when the dashboard was about to light up I pushed the gearlever up a notch into second. It took a decisive action but the transmission was remarkably smooth, and before I knew it I was increasing my speed and pushing up another gear. With the corner approaching he advised using the brakes and a change down into second. Again, with a firm pull the gearchange was made with no fuss, leaving the left foot free to brake and the right to accelerate.

After a couple of laps I felt I was beginning to get the hang of it. My speed started to increase, getting up to 70pmh on the straights, and my confidence grew. This is always a precursor to disaster, and sure enough I missed the correct trajectory going into the off-road section, causing the car to slew all over the road. Fortunately, as we were not next to a precipice the consequences were a red face for me and my cockiness curbed.

As I got to grips with the braking, acceleration and handling I really started to enjoy myself. It’s noisy, rough and exhilarating but I could do it. I was actually driving a rally car. It remains to be seen whether, if I were to invest in a C2-R2 Max (at about £40,000) and compete in the C2R2 Cup, I’d ever be good enough to be a serious contender. But for those with more ambition than cash, it does open the door for first-time would-be rally drivers to try their hand at the real thing along with the big boys.

"Francie, with Meeke, was soon up to 70mph on the straights at Rockingham but the gravel section proved her undoing."








She really likes cars doesn't she? An interesting look into Clarkson's family life - he isn't the only one who loves cars.

[Viper007Bond]

He married very well.

[nannocrob]

On topic: Great article! Very well written too.

Now that, that's over with...

Semi-off topic: Has anyone else noticed she looks just like Hammond?

[Shawn]

You really think so? A love of cars and autos can make up for a lot, but still, looks have to mean something. I wouldn't be surprised if she was the Stig.

Originally Posted by Viper007Bond

He married very well.

[db2450]

Originally Posted by Shawn

You really think so? A love of cars and autos can make up for a lot, but still, looks have to mean something. I wouldn't be surprised if she was the Stig.

Hrm.......... Wait... James May's mom was supposed to be the Stig.

[narin]

Originally Posted by db2450

Hrm.......... Wait... James May's mom was supposed to be the Stig.

well i guess now we'll just have to assume they're the same person

[Mercury]

Originally Posted by narin

well i guess now we'll just have to assume they're the same person

Hmmmm so the Stig, James May's mom and Jeremy's wife are the same person?


Interesting.....

[Flynn]

Sick...

[Viper007Bond]

You guys are fucking weird.

[vRS]

Need to get her out for a power lap.

[Mike Bull]

Actually, the wives- or long-term girlfriend in James' case- would make for a great power lap feature.