Stig Introduction Competition

[Tranquillizer]

some say

he has been fitted with Airbags, and all his limbs have ABS.
and when ANCAP tried to crash him, he scored 5 star *****

All we know is, he is called the STIG.

[GerFix]

Some say he might be Ben Collins, others say who cares. All we know is ...

[47]

Some say he is on stand-by when Top Gear is off air...all we know, bla,bla

[Vltros]

Some say that he is in fact a LEGO secret project gone terribly wrong and that he was able to find a Wii this christmas... all we know is, he is called The STIG.

[Ziggy Shadow-Dust]

Some say his signature is binary and that he had sex with Britney Spears. *applause* all we know is he's called The Stig.

[TheCleaner]

some say his right foot is so heavy he could stomp the earth out of orbit, and his arms can rotate 900 degrees lock to lock without crossing... all we know......

[Dsemaj]

Some say that his saliva burns human flesh, and that he's a supporter of Hilary Clinton. All we know is that he's called The Stig!

[Ziggy Shadow-Dust]

Some say he can morph into Barrack Obama (possible Lewis Hamilton hint) and that he gets high off ashes. All we know is...

[MijetMan]

some say his heart beat sounds exactly like an Big-Block V8 and that he finds broadband unfathomable.

or

some say that his fingerprints have Pireli tire tracks and that only when Ian Beale is finaly killed off in East Enders will his true identity be revealed

or

some say he has centeral locking and that he emmits a strange call that can only be heard by motor vehicles that some believe is a call to arms against Alistair "The Badger" Darling and "Red" Ken Livingston

[maxorido]

Some say he scared Al Gore into not running for election again, and that he's Bill Clinton's brotha from anotha motha. All we know is, he's called the Stig!

[LurkerPatrol]

Some say he drinks unleaded gasoline for breakfast, and that if you press his belly button, his traction control turns off. All we know is, he's called the stig.

[SpecOpsBob]

Some say (well, I say), that I started a thread about this over on another site to go with my Top Gear design I made in Forza 2 many many moons ago...

Anyway..

I'm sure the contributors would not mind if I posted this (mine are at the bottom)



(most are original, some aren't)

colmoneill:

Some say……….

He can hook his feet to the accelerator and that his brain then acts as 2 more engines



Panbot3000:

Some say…..

He was the secret to success in both world wars....

....and that he can go faster than the speed of light

Some say that his dreams can be viewed on u-tube

Some say that his brain is a 360

And his favourite food is burnt rubber



Dr Daath:

Some say...

That he could turn a cat inside out with just one look.



SuperCheese88:

Some say...

He once beat the master chief in hand to hand combat and then gave him a chocolate and drove him home.

He challenged the devil to a fidel match and won without using his hands.

He was the first person in space but he moved so fast they said he was a UFO

He is the true centre of the universe.

Every time he touches the brakes and angel cries.

Steven King once wrote a story of his childhood but it was so scary when you read it your heart exploded.



Keegan ISK:

Some say he’s master chief's long lost twin

Some say at the end of halo 3 he finishes the fight

Some say at the end of halo 3 he destroys everyone, Alien and Man

The Stig never takes life seriously because nobody gets out alive anyways.

The Stig knows every fight is a good fight when you’re a cannibal.

The Stig thinks the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.

And some say his name is the Stig

And some say he knows how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

And some say he knows if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it and it lands on a squirrel the noise the squirrel makes DOES count





R3DD3V1L24:

Some say he was Optimus Prime’s stunt double

and that Steven Spielberg has a shrine of him in his closet



DarkCrusader84:

Some say he’s the guy driving the cars in Forza.



Kia Guy:

Some say that he is a hamster and that he has no mind all we know is he's called the Stig



Lee25194:

Some say:

...He sucks moisture from ducks

...If he felt like it he could fire Alan Sugar

...He is illegal in 17 US states

...If you tune your radio to 88.4 FM you can actually hear his thoughts

...For some reason, he's allergic to the Dutch

...He isn't machine washable



FORZALLY:

And some say he's Jack Baur...

And some say Nostrodamus predicted his coming...

And some say... WTF was that!

And some say he makes delicious Welsh Cakes...



Insomniac787:

Some say, he has irises like a badger's.
Others claim, he once burned London to the ground, and rebuilt it in a night.



SnakeEyes Friex:

Some say he ain't the fastest ... but we can't find them....



NeoSync 05:

Then there are these....

Little known fact: The Stig can do a perfect impression of all Jim Henson Muppets.... simultaneously.

The Stig plays Minesweeper with real mines.

An army was once raised to destroy The Stig, but they were defeated when he told a joke so funny, they laughed themselves to death. The Stig then told the same joke backwards, bringing them to life so that he could defeat them in melee combat.

A gorilla has the strength of eight men altogether. The Stig has the strength of eight gorillas.... Squared!

You are what you eat. That is why The Stig's diet consists of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Mr T are loosely based on different physical features of The Stig.

And finally....Chuck Norris had sex with 100,000 girls in his life. The Stig calls this an "easy Sunday"



dhakote viper:

He invented Branston Pickle and that if you insult his mother he will head butt you in the chest





xX 360 GT Racing Xx:

And some say he never changes his underwear...



BlackWaterOp:

Some say....when he breaths he sounds like Darth Vader

Some say....he never takes off his helmet because it will mess up his internal GPS!



Killbot 077:

Some say...he once got his balls tickled by the Queen



FTG Dra Radda:

Some say he is Nigel Mansell’s love child

Some say he has the nose of a walrus

Some say that he is the redheaded step child of 50 cent

Some say that when the 2nd patch came out on Forza he didn’t lose any credits



T0ken Luger:

Some say... There is an airport in Russia named after him.

Some say...His fingernails have 330bhp.

Some say... He has a tattoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh.
Some say... Jimmy Carter wants him dead.
Some say... He urinates 98 RON petrol.
Some say... He has named every single blade of grass surrounding the Top Gear test track.

Some say... After eating printing ink, he obtains the ability to fly.
Some say... He can melt concrete on contact.
Some say...His tongue can strip the paint off a Porsche in 30 seconds.



RichXM655:

Some say that he can transform into a jaguar XKR, and that he's been sold to a private equity firm...



TeknicFire:

Some say his farts have a distinct V8 rumble...



Cerra:

And that he wouldn’t need technical specs to beat a Ferrari or Maclaren.













And all those that aren’t in the contest, mine



SpecOpsBob:

Some say….. that he once consumed a live alien.

Some say.....that he can be found growing on various trees in Kazakhstan.

Some say.....that his hair was manufactured in Detroit.

And that he engineered Michael Schumacher....

Some say...... that he has 3 USB ports on his left arm......
and that he once versed Jesus in a game of chess.

Some say…….that he doesn’t take his helmet off because it would mess up Earth's magnetic fields.

Some say... that he eats happiness and that his saliva holds together the Nurburgring

Some say......That the angle of his nose always stays parallel to the Eiffel Tower, no matter where he is on the world.

Some say........that he responds to the word "pancake" by waving his hands wildly and screaming the words "Hail Fuher" very loudly.

Some say.....That he feasts on small children and that he once was found singing nursery rhymes at the top of Mt Everest...

Some say...........that he has the power of a small power plant in his left ear....





And the car for those of you interested (keep in mind, it was all made with basic shapes given to me in the game (1000 layer a side limit), no pc's or Photoshop stuff here)

[TopGearNorthAmerica]

Some say that he's afflicted with jealousy that he hasn't gotten to drive the Bugatti Veyron yet . . .

*And* that his farts are still exempt under Ken Livingstone's new congestion charges.

All we know is . . .

[vaportrails]

Some say his scrotum produces more oil than saudi Arabia, and that his skeleton is made of used formula 1 car parts, all we know is he's called the Stig

[minigolf]

Some say he just sold for $1.6 million in the IPL auctions and he thinks that VVS Laxman is a new BMW technology, all we know is...

[Ruthi]

Some say that when it rains his skin turns inside out, and when he is pleasured every car in a 20 mile radius empties their fuel tank...all we know is blah blah blah

[ApexOversteer]

Some say under his helmet is just one huge eye, and that his brain waves are the real reason Nissan GTR transmissions fail... all we know is...

Some say he is equipped with true dual exhaust, and that he's fully fluent in French, but pretends he's not... all we know is...

Some say he named his tiny rat-dog Tiff, and that he feels pretty, oh so pretty... all we know is...

Some say he was heckled in Spain for being white, and that his personal number plate reads "R1P BLK ST16"... all we know is...

Some say he's got Jason Plato's testicles... in a jar, and that's not a driving suit, it's his exoskeleton... all we know is...

[NecroJoe]

Some say his toes bend backwards...and that if he were hanging from a ski-lift by his trousers, he'd have the decency to cover up his wedding vegetables.

[Stigulus_Maximus]

Some say he's an original member of the band Daft Punk and that if he was in charge of GM, Ford or Chrysler we wouldn't be in this mess. All we know is he's called the Stig!

[shellygrrl]

Some say he's the one who's been leaving "F*** off" messages on Jeremy Clarkson's cellphone; and that the only way to kill him is to rip off his helmet...then hang, draw, and quarter him immediately afterwards. All we know is...