TG Charity Go Karting Gossip

[bartboy9891]

Originally Posted by Top Gear Girl

Not tall or small, process of illumination, James May.

Oh dear, I am disappointed at James.

hahahhahhhahahahh "process of illumination"

[Buba]

Jezzas rather funny side of the story:

Originally Posted by Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson: Great no-shows of our time
In these hectic times of long hours and bad traffic I do understand that it’s not always possible to be bang on time for an appointment. This is why, if I’ve arranged to meet someone in a restaurant, I always give them 60 seconds’ grace before getting up from the table and going home.

There are many ways of insulting a man. You could snort with derision at pictures of his children or you could chop him in half with a chainsaw. But I’ve always argued that the biggest insult of them all is to turn up late for a meeting.

It’s the stiletto subtlety of the message that hurts most of all, the quiet implication that your time is worth more than the other guy’s. That it’ll be okay to leave him hanging around because, hey, what else is there for him to do? Airlines do this, insisting you turn up nine hours before the flight because that makes their life easier. Utility companies do it as well, telling you to stay at home between the hours of nine and February so their chap can call round when he’s good and ready. It’s just rudeness. There’s no other word.

Recently, however, my eyes have been opened to something that’s even worse than turning up late: not turning up at all. It’s a disease that seems primarily to affect people in the public eye, people who are probably invited to so many red carpet dos that the easiest thing for them is to say yes to everything and then make a decision on the night.

When we record Top Gear, I live in constant fear that the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car will simply stay at home and I’ll be forced to interview the chair. Doesn’t happen? Oh yes it does, and from the most unlikely people. Davina McCall for instance. And amazingly, David Dimbleby.

Of course, both had entirely proper excuses but even though it was no longer possible for them to turn up, we had to find a replacement at very short notice. That’s very hard work and usually results in us featuring someone you’ve never heard of.

And like turning up late, for me the no-show message is simple. My life is more important than yours.

For the past few weeks I’ve been helping to organise a charity go-karting event. Companies pay to bring guests along and are given a celebrity team captain. Then afterwards there is dinner, and the edifying spectacle of watching Johnny Vegas vomiting into a teapot. Well, that’s what happened last year anyway.

I know this is a bore for people on television. I know the last thing anyone wants to do on a Friday night is drive to Milton Keynes to be stared at by a hundred photocopier salesmen.

And so I have no problem when 99% say “No thanks, I’d rather spend the evening sitting in a bath full of cold vegetable soup”.

What I do have a problem with are those who say “Mmmm, yes, count me in” and then count themselves out with two days to go.

First to cry off this year was Richard Hammond, the shortish chap I work with, who said he had a corporate gig that night. But when I suggested he gave his fee to the charity he quickly realised that he could get a helicopter and go to both.

Then James May, the quiet sensitive one, called to say he suddenly had to go to Scotland. Rubbish. Fighter pilots may find they are suddenly needed somewhere else. And lifeboatmen. But not motoring journalists. And anyway, no one suddenly has to go to Scotland.

No, I’m afraid James now has Jade Goody syndrome; I worry that he thinks he doesn’t need friends because he’s got fans instead. And if he loses some of those, there are always half a million more queueing up for a slot in his address book.

I nearly wrote a strong letter of complaint to his website because his refusal meant I had to spend two whole days trying to find a replacement, someone who I knew would say “yes” and then not show up on the day. If Dimbleby can do this, anyone can.

In fact, the only man in show business who is 100% reliable is Michael Winner. He makes the speaking clock look sloppy.

But I can’t see him in a go-kart somehow. And that left me with Ronnie Winner, who’s also reliable, but is a greengrocer and is therefore not what the paying guests would consider to be a celebrity. As we speak, I’m waiting for Steve Coogan’s brother to call back.

Meanwhile, the caterers keep ringing and asking how many will be there for dinner. I suggested they got Jesus into the kitchen because it could be five or it could be 5,000. And it was the same deal with the people supplying tables and chairs, and the taxi service.

Organising a party when you have absolutely no idea how many people will be there, or when they’ll come, or when they’ll go is like making a salad blindfolded. You don’t know whether you’ll end up with a Niçoise or a caesar, or even if the mystery ingredients have missed the bowl altogether.

But I know exactly what I’m going to do to James May. I’m going to wait until he has a party and then, with 24 hours to go, show him what real rudeness is by taking his entire guest list on a free holiday to Barbados. But only if they all pee through his letter box first.

[BlaRo]

Originally Posted by The big shouty one

I nearly wrote a strong letter of complaint to his website because his refusal meant I had to spend two whole days trying to find a replacement, someone who I knew would say “yes” and then not show up on the day. If Dimbleby can do this, anyone can.

Does James May have an official website, or did Jezza email Electrastar by accident?

[bihus]

Originally Posted by BlaRo

Does James May have an official website, or did Jezza email Electrastar by accident?

In wikipedia it says his official website is hers...

Somehow this makes me think that all isn't right in paradise. There's a possibility of changing cast...

[Ultra_Kool_Dude]

Woah, Clarkson's letter makes the Top Gear crew seem like an episode of "Behind the Music".

Hey Buba - where do you get that article BTW?

[fbc]

Ouch - JC's not pulling his punches. Understandable too. Will be interesting to see if anything comes of this...

[moo]

I think Electrastar's site is thought of as James' because of the domain name and given there aren't any others it's an easy assumption to make

Originally Posted by fbc

Ouch - JC's not pulling his punches. Understandable too. Will be interesting to see if anything comes of this...

I know what you mean fbc, I wouldn't want to p*ss off Jeremy

[Electrastar~Indochine]

I see that James's Wikipedia entry was changed today to read unofficial fan site. As far as I know, there are only 2 websites with a May theme, one of them being mine and neither the other webmistress or myself have had correspondence from Mr Clarkson. I'm guessing that Jeremy realised that firing off a snotty letter to either of us would be futile.

[Buba]

Originally Posted by Ultra_Kool_Dude

Woah, Clarkson's letter makes the Top Gear crew seem like an episode of "Behind the Music".

Hey Buba - where do you get that article BTW?

Its one of his "opinion" articles in the sunday times... They usually come to his "driving" site around monday... You can however read it, when you click on the bottom left of the screen to the "Newspaper Editions" and then search for Clarkson (Ctrl + F for most browsers and the n00bs in here)

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspap...795955,00.html

There you go...