Can't wait to get the left lane cleared by these in estate form, some sort of black paint scheme and 520d written at the back.
Being on fire is not the opposite of "boring".
Old unsubstantiated joke is old and unsubstantiated. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a modern Alfa Romeo spontaneously igniting...
Maybe not catch on fire, it will be a case of death by a thousand cuts. Inevitably, the repair bill will add up and the problems will make you go mad.