Our "own" car reviews

Somebody also suggested that I misinterpreted the name, and that "Sports" actually refers to stuff like surfing, mountain biking and whatnot. In short the type of sport where you carry some equipment with you, that you could put in the van.

Either way, the thing was decidedly not sporty on the road.
 
It sounds like something Clarkson would come up with to go with the Sport Train and Sports Lorry.
 
What engine did it have?
 
That shouldn't exist.
 
Probably looks quite eco-friendly on paper, but in the real world when it has to lug around 1.3 tons of car, it uses a hell of a lot of fuel.

Anyway, yesterday I was back at the dealership to get new tires. While I was waiting, I overheard a phone conversation in which the dealership tried to offer a VW Golf as a hired car to somebody that brought their Porsche Cayenne in for service. This didn't go well. In the end they offered him or her a Touareg, and alternatively an RS3. Looking back at the Sportsvan and the fact that the RS3 would have been only twice as expensive to rent, I should have asked for a different car as well...
 
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The smallest petrol engine they put in the car. 1 liter and 63 kW.

The 63kW is a 1.2, the 1.0 is 85kW... the 63kW is fine in the Fabia, but anything significantly larger is too much for it. You can tell VW knows it's too weak because they left off sixth gear :lol:
You most likely had just that, because the 1.0 is the Bluemotion.
 
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Somebody also suggested that I misinterpreted the name, and that "Sports" actually refers to stuff like surfing, mountain biking and whatnot. In short the type of sport where you carry some equipment with you, that you could put in the van.

Something tells me a Golf Variant would do that job better.
 
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2014 Porsche 911 GT3

My first 911 experience. With PDK. On a track. And a 3.8 litre flat six with a shrieking 9000 rpm redline. A price tag beyond anything I can possibly contemplate. Of course I chose to drive this car. A 991 chassis that is lowered, with unique touches to the front fascia, and a great big rear wing. It looks delicious, it sounds delicious, it must be delicious.

Well?. that damn PDK. Yes, it?s brilliant in full auto, and the shift paddle response in manual mode is as quick as you could hope for, but it?s not what I would want, though I completely understand why a track day school (and hardcore track day drivers) would opt for this transmission. For the 991 chassis, it?s not like they had a choice, and in the interest of full disclosure, I?m glad not to have to think about a third pedal for my first time on a track.

So, I can?t get into road manners, obviously, but allow me a minute to discuss the interior. Looks like a modern Porsche, very similar to my Boxster, only mine?s more luxuriously equipped with leather wrapped everything versus this car?s basic Porsche vinyl/rubber, just slightly above the quality found in a VW Golf. Being a 911, there are no issues with visibility in any direction. Everything falls to hand (except shifter, because there isn?t any!) perfectly. The GT3's cabin is not inspired nor beautiful. This one is squarely in the camp of function over form.

It?s a machine! It can do things I didn?t think were possible, though that?s probably because of the witchcraft that is the rear wheel steering. It?s never obvious, but you just know it?s helping you get through those corners faster than you think, no, feel is possible. I hate it. The steering is perfectly weighted, with decent feedback. Getting such a track-prepped car around a circuit should be a piece of cake, even for a track virgin such as yours truly, but it isn?t. I find myself fighting understeer at points because I?m making a hash of the transition from braking/loading up the front tires to getting back on the gas in a smooth manner, and although I can honestly say I?m never once afraid of the car swapping ends a la 911s of yore, I am aware of a center of gravity some distance behind me, that I am not used to, messing with my intentions. All the while, however, the sound of the flat six swells and changes pitch the deeper you push the throttle, and the farther you let the needle swing to the right. Make no mistake: this car may be the business, but it sports a mullet: there?s a party somewhere back there. On a back road, or with more track experience, I?m sure I would be smiling, but in this particular moment I was all gritted teeth, just trying not to make my instructor think I was a typical SUV driver (which he called me after only a few laps!). The fear factor was high as I kept fighting my instincts to slow down much further while making a sharp, non-banked right hander, following my instructor?s advice to maintain constant throttle while having the wheel turned farther right than I thought possible and feeling myself strain the left seat bolster. How is this bloody possible? Why are the tires not screeching? Where?s the cop waiting to take me to jail? Why am I not dead yet?

Due to this being my first time driving any 911 AND my first time ever on a track, there are just too many other variables I had to concentrate on to give this car a proper review. Its track prowess is undoubtedly impressive, as are its seemingly infinite levels of grip. In addition to road driving, the other aspect this experience lacked was sound. The 3.4 in my GTS howls and shrieks and makes the hairs on my neck stand on end, and that?s with only 7800 rpm to play with. I didn?t get a better, or even similar, sensation in this car. Blame it on my car being a convertible and mid-engined versus this rear engined tin-top in which I also had to wear a padded helmet as possible explanations for sapping some of the anticipated aural experience. I would love to have had a chance to drive it without helmet (or even be in the passenger seat) and hear it hit 9 grand, just to be sure.

I want more time to learn it, and I respect it thoroughly. But based on this admittedly limited assessment, I?m not pining for one in my dream garage. The GT3?s modus operandi is all about cutting down track times, so I?d say mission accomplished. But no availability of a manual, and not experiencing any more drama than in my own much less expensive, less track focused Porsche, can?t help but make me feel this car isn?t what I would want if I had a $200,000 bill burning a hole in my wallet.

Oh, and for the record, even though this was my first time driving this car, and my first time ever driving a car on a track, I still went four seconds a lap faster than I did later in the day with the much more powerful Huracan (see separate review). Regardless of my short time with it, one thing?s clear, this thing is geared for podium finishes.
 
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Sixt continues their tradition of giving me cars that don't exist :clap:


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An F57 Cooper D auto... In the correct colour.
 
All I hear is Sabine Schmitz saying "cooper." :)
 
2016 Lamborghini Huracan LP 580-2

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Let?s be very clear about this: I drove the Porsche (see previous post) first because I thought its control layout being similar to my own, and its known track focused mission, would help reduce my overall track learning curve. The Huracan has much more power, so if I was struggling to keep up inputs in the Porsche, this car should have me fitted for a straight jacket by the end.

Then I found out I wasn?t even driving the standard four-wheel drive car, but the more enthusiast-oriented rear-wheel version.

In an Italian supercar.

With a V10.

And 570 horsepower!


I should be in the bathroom having a, er, ?weight shedding? session, but oddly enough I?m just eager to get in there.

I was right not to be worried. Let?s get right to the metrics: despite now having some degree of familiarity with the course and track driving in general, my fastest lap in the Huracan was some four seconds off the pace of my times in the GT3. That?s no knock on the Huracan or an admission that I cocked it up (I didn?t, well, not utterly), but rather reinforcement of the GT3?s commitment to being a better track car and making you a better track driver. It?s also irrelevant to yours truly, who had a screaming ball of orgasmic joy driving the Lamborghini versus the more po-faced approach to the Porsche.

Upon seeing and touching a Huracan in real life, its exterior is just as flamboyant and gorgeous as it appears in photos. It?s everything a supercar should be: low, wide, wedge shaped, and a bit mental. The car I drove was a non-metallic, non-matte white (?Bianco Monocerus?), but the entire experience kept fooling me into thinking it was finished in Lamborghini?s wonderfully expressive Verde Mantis, otherwise known as Kermit the Frog green. If cars can be art, then I?m creating heresy by fondling a Mona Lisa.

The interior is very nice to the touch, and continues the hexagonal theme so well executed on the outside. Interior visibility through the front windshield and side windows is very good, the rear made up mostly of horizontal black slats which, even if absent, would provide the clarity of trying to read The Complete Works of Shakespeare in size 6 font by flickering candle. The interior was black but with lovely off-colour stitching throughout. I can?t tell you what colour the stitching was, however, because I only saw it in my peripheral vision, my eyes unconsciously zeroing in on the part that only Lamborghini could pull off and not be ridiculed for: that lovely fighter pilot-inspired red starter button with protective flip up cover. This car costs far more than the GT3 I can?t afford, but in that singular moment of eye pornography, I am simultaneously seeing numbers as if I were in The Matrix, desperate to make it work financially. Can this car?s performance cash the cheques its appearance seems to be writing?

Judging from my own experience, if the performance is measured in lap times, then no, it can?t. As I mentioned earlier, my ham-fisted attempts in the GT3 netted me lap times four seconds faster (an eternity on a course where lap times bracket the one-minute-dead mark), yet I was immediately more comfortable behind the wheel of the Huracan. I?m sure that was partly due to the oodles of real-time information I gained driving the track earlier in the GT3, but also due to the Huracan LP 580-2?s mid engined, rear-drive layout being identical to my own Boxster GTS. Low polar moment of interia, and all that jazz. This car wasn?t frightening at all. Behind the wheel, trying to apply the techniques advised by the ride along instructor, I?m all smiles, no grit. Even with helmet, I can both hear and feel that 5.2 litre V10 barking its way to 8500 rpm. My sense of touch is thoroughly enjoying the feedback from the wheel, and the tactile sensation of the luridly oversized paddle shifters. Front wheels freed from the burden assisting in acceleration, left to the duties of cornering as God intended, the LP 580-2 follows my inputs as if by telepathy. I?m no longer concentrating on finding the apex and maintaining smooth inputs, I?m simply doing it subconsciously, even inducing a very brief four wheel slide as I barrel past the previously mentioned tight right hand infield corner in one of my later laps.

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It?s not all arias and homemade lasagna noodles, however. I still found the time to over-brake at the aforementioned tight right hander on one lap. And I?m sure I?m still not making my throttle, brake, or steering inputs anywhere as fast or smooth as I should be, but I?m definitely more comfortable, and I?m certainly having more fun. I don?t want to get out. I want to stay in this thing, lapping the tiny course, forever. Contrast that to my last few laps in the GT3 where I felt I was simply a passenger on a roller coaster ride that made me want to throw up, the LP 580-2 is all shits and giggles and is obeying my every command!

This is the perfect car to choose for a track day excursion. I chose it over an Aventador despite wanting to experience that car?s batshit insane V12 (tied for loudest cars heard from pit lane: said Aventador?s soul-stirring banshee V12 and the gargling-hammers-Norse god-furious C7 Z06), because I felt its size wouldn?t be as forgiving as the smaller Huracan. I also chose this car over a McLaren 570S because despite the rave reviews that car is getting, and as pretty as it is in person, I felt the twin turbo?ed V8 might be a bit too anodyne for my tastes. I made the right choice.

This would be a useless, stupid car to drive on the street. It costs a fortune to buy, insure, and fill with fuel. The reverse camera is the only way to safely back it up because in stereotypical Italian style, the manufacturer believes rear traffic will always be ever shrinking as you continue to cane it, so why waste resources ensuring decent rear visibility? There is nowhere to put even a modest amount of groceries. Trying to rev it out on a windy road will either kill you or land you in jail, midway through second gear.

And yet, it?s perfect. I respect the consummate professional 991 911 GT3, but it feels as if I?m just along for the ride, not really a part of the process, which can only partly be explained by the PDK paddle shift gearbox. The rock star Huracan LP 580-2, on the other hand, shares a similar transmission philosophy (though different execution), but the entire time I was driving I never felt like I was just a bystander. Instead of responding with the Porsche?s ?that?s the best you can do? You?re boring me, son??, it lovingly shouts ?OMGLOL! I AM HAVING SOOOOO MUCH FUN RIGHT NOW! DO YOU WANT ME TO SHAKE MY ASS ON CORNER EXIT? DO YOU?! DO YOU?! DO YOU?!?

It requires ?fuck you!? levels of money to own and operate, which I don?t have. But if I did, I?d buy one without a second thought. Make mine Verde Mantis.
 
An F57 Cooper D auto... In the correct colour.

Now that my time with the D is over, I can conclude that...

...it's much better to drive than a diesel 3-pot automatic has the right to be. The engine appears to agree, it's grumbling madly between 3-4krpm at much throttle as if it was unhappy with its existence, trying to escape.
...the extra lights are silly, but likeable.
...despite being a new-in-2016 model and three-months-old car the satnav didn't know of a large stretch of highway that opened in 2015 and must have been in the planning and building for a decade or so. No idea how it was to use, didn't need guidance.
...the centre armrest is too fat for the handbrake.
...putting a revcounter in place of the old openometer dial is a good move, you still get the readout on the computer if you like. I've added about a third to the odometer but almost tripled the openometer - dafuq were the previous renters doing?
...the door pockets are ridiculously tiny. That shiny swoopy strip better serve a purpose, all I could tell was it's there to bang your elbow on.
...the pulsating red light in the starter switch was annoyingly bright when stargazing #fwp
...it's a good Samaritan, rescuing a Brit who managed to run his A4 out of petrol :lol:
...it doesn't do donuts.
...it's ridiculously cheap to run at 4.5?/100km in fuel at tax haven prices...
...the gauge cluster suffers from not having the usual shroud around it, it's reflective as hell.
...the boot assembly with the foldy-uppy-bit feels quite flimsy, the boot itself is plenty big for a small convertible.
...the manual-dip mirror suffers from the same problem as the 2-series.

Some pictures related to ^ but too lazy to sort :tease:












 
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Wow, it only cost about 10 euro less to fill the same amount in the wagon today. I really don't understand the point of a convertible Mini. It looks like the Subarute with the top town, sort of bowel-like.
 
Two things I forgot to add, its headlights are excellent and the buttwarmers are from BMW's surface of the sun range :clap:

Wow, it only cost about 10 euro less to fill the same amount in the wagon today. I really don't understand the point of a convertible Mini. It looks like the Subarute with the top town, sort of bowel-like.

Diesel, mind.
The Canaries are a special tax region... A carton of fags is less than half the price too, so I always play drug mule for the smokers :lol:

What's the point of any convertible? Topless fun? The Mini checks that box firmly.
 
To recap: you're a drug mule that likes topless fun and wants a hot bum.

Also, that Mini (ironic name, btw) is good fun.
 
I didn't know they actually made a 3-cylinder *diesel* for the mini. Doesn't it sound like a Massey Ferguson 35?
 
To recap: you're a drug mule that likes topless fun and wants a hot bum.

Also, that Mini (ironic name, btw) is good fun.

Pretty much, yes :lol: it's still pretty Mini, 1200something kg for a diesel auto convertible.

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I didn't know they actually made a 3-cylinder *diesel* for the mini. Doesn't it sound like a Massey Ferguson 35?

It's not as bad as you'd expect. You hear it's a diesel, obviously, but it's neither obnoxiously loud nor terribly shaky nor otherwise annoying, and at the right load and revs it even gives off interesting grumbling/growling noises... probably not very real noises, but still.
 
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Dodge Ram - much bigger than anything I'm used to but the interior is really, really nice, the ride is good, the V8 has guts and sounds angry. Quite an awesome truck unlike...


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... the previous-gen Ford F150, which just felt ancient (the underpinnings are from 2004 or so and I'm sure the new ones are a lot nicer). Cheap materials, ugly interior trim, drove like a crossover when I wanted a truck.


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Didn't get to drive this Mustang unfortunately but rode shotgun. The interior was nice with lots of clever tech, the seats were comfortable and supportive, and it sounded awesome. Rode much like a muscle car and had way less traction and finesse than the Vette. The big downside was the shitty dealer who at first told us (with a smug look on his face) that he can't let anyone test drive such a rare, expensive, powerful car :rolleyes:


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I wanted to hate the Audi A3 on general principle but I was in for a very big surprise. What a fantastic little car! I loved the simple understated interior and the fact that the big nav screen actually hides into the dashboard, unlike in a BMW. The seats were great and the lumbar support was unrivaled for adjustment and comfort. Interior quality was top-notch. On the road the A3 felt stiff in a good way and very "sporty", with quick changes of direction, good controls, and decent steering. The engine was another surprise because it performed far better than the figures would suggest - this is a quick car.


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Decided to try an A3 on a budget and drove a WRX. I've always liked Subarus and wanted to like this one but I was very disappointed. Cheap materials, uncomfortable seats with no lumbar support, an even less comfortable rear seat, disappointing power, a boost gauge that's off by 3-4psi from the factory, etc. At least you get ONE power seat for your $35k. The other weird thing was that apparently Subaru ships all WRXs with summer tires so buying one in February in New England would carry an instant snow tire/wheel purchase (~$1,500), bring the car close to the A3 price. I was very happy to get back into my TL, which was designed in 2004!
 
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