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The "What the Bloody Fuckintosh?" Thread

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    Originally posted by AiR View Post
    Problem: There is a breach in your dyke.

    Solution: Drive trucks with rocks into the breach until problem goes away.



    As we know, once your truck is full of rocks, there's no way to get them out. One should devise such a mechanism, perhaps utilising the principles of hydraulic pressure.
    They're Chinese-built trucks. And you expect the hydraulics to work?

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      Suicide Squad and other DC movies not getting review scores you deem correct? No worries, just start a petition to shut down Rotten Tomatoes!
      "If you're following your grandmother's ambulance to the hospital and accidentally rear-end the ambulance as it pulls into the trauma bay...
      As the confused EMT is coming to get your insurance info, the only truly logical response is to run out to the hospital parking lot, steal a truck, and GTFO "

      --------------
      <Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
      <bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls
      --------------
      "When being persuaded by books you initially disagree with is considered "brainwashing"—well, we're in trouble."

      Comment


        Originally posted by Cryptopygia View Post
        Suicide Squad and other DC movies not getting review scores you deem correct? No worries, just start a petition to shut down Rotten Tomatoes!
        aggregator

        beautiful language - milk&water - baseball vs. football - best god in show

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          Can I start a petition to end online petitions?
          Where are we going and why are we in a handbasket?

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            It's because people seek validation more than critical analysis. A "professional critic" disagreeing with them throw's their own beliefs into question so they throw a fit.

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              How many trucks did they have to suicide to breach a gap that big?
              "It's not right, this." : Anonymous studio tech on the killing of TopGear.

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                On the lighter side of wtf, a chinese tourist was mistaken for an asylum-seeker in germany and spend 3 Weeks in various refugee-camps. His Wallet got stolen shortly after his arrival in germany and he went to the police to report that. There some sort of mistake happened and he was afterwards treated as a refugee. not the victim of a crime.
                He was very obedient, did everything he was told to do - and so it did not occur to anyone that he may not be seeking asylum - not even the translator that helped him fill out the forms for that. He then got to enjoy German Gastfreundschaft in a very different way then he may have expected until someone at his second refugee-camp got the brilliant idea to use Google translate to clear this all up ...

                via http://www1.wdr.de/nachrichten/westf...elmen-106.html (german)

                beautiful language - milk&water - baseball vs. football - best god in show

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                  I heard that the owner of the local Chinese restaurant helped to clear it up. It was all a big bureaucratic mess, it seems, and the Chinese gentleman didn't actually help by being very passive and compliant. Also speaking only Mandarin can be a problem when you travel through Europe.

                  However, I wonder why nobody ever questioned him being a refugee, since he was apparently well-dressed and said he was from Beijing. Not too many refugees from that area lately...
                  “If Liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear" (George Orwell)

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                    Originally posted by MacGuffin View Post
                    [...] Also speaking only Mandarin can be a problem when you travel through Europe.

                    beautiful language - milk&water - baseball vs. football - best god in show

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                      What I want to know is how he escaped from his tourgroup, mistakes were made!

                      I'm sorry, but if you go travelling, at least make sure you are able to make yourself understood in some kind of local language, I don't care if you are a tourist, an immigrant, or a fucking Ukranian truckdriver, nothing is quite as arrogant as arriving someplace and just expecting everyone to understand you.
                      Last edited by Cowboy; August 9th, 2016, 5:45 PM.
                      "It's not right, this." : Anonymous studio tech on the killing of TopGear.

                      Comment


                        A trained midwife has almost starved her breast feeding baby to death after following a water-only diet prescribed by a naturopath.

                        http://www.skynews.com.au/news/natio...oids-jail.html

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                          I know Karma is baggage you carry into the next life, but there is something to be said about the results of one's ass hattery coming back to bite them much sooner.


                          Bummer: Car thieves get a smelly surprise

                          They say karma comes in many forms: and for some brazen Wellington car thieves, it was the pungent stench of a stoat's backside.

                          A ute owned by conservation company Goodnature had been parked in the city suburb of Roseneath on Sunday night when thieves smashed a window and made off with a box that had been left in the vehicle.

                          Because markings on the box indicated chemicals were inside, company director Robbie van Dam suspected the burglars thought they were getting materials for drug-making.

                          Instead, they got something much more potent: 16 small bottles of experimental oil extracted from the anal glands of stoats.

                          "Stoat anal gland oil is extremely smelly stuff and it lingers on any fabric or surface," he said.

                          Anal gland oil research is part of the company's projects in learning about high-powered attractants for their A24 self-resetting trap.

                          "We know a range of lures will be part of removing stoats from the whole of New Zealand," van Dam said.

                          "Scent glands are just one of the experiments our sophisticated R & D team is working on."

                          The thieves could get more than they bargained for: just a few drops of scent glands in their car or home would stink for weeks.

                          "We popped a gland in our lab a couple of years ago during research.

                          "We had fans running and windows open in the middle of a Wellington winter, and it still took weeks to go. Some staff chose to work from home for a couple of days."


                          The oil was so potent it was in the process of being moved off-site for storage.

                          The thieves' motivations weren't likely to be industrial espionage, he believed.

                          "We're normally just trying to attract stoats, rats or possums, but I guess there are other kinds of opportunist pests in Roseneath."

                          - NZ Herald
                          "I don't care who does the electing, so long as I get to do the nominating" -Boss Tweed

                          "No man's life, liberty or happiness are safe while Congress is in session,"- Mark Twain

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                            Staring, Withdrawing Affection, is Domestic Violence, according to new Guidelines

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                              Don't get me started on this. I'm already in trouble at work for vocalising that the policy should not be gender specific, and that domestic violence can be perpetrated by either gender and the victim can be either gender (yes, I am smart enough to understand that it is more prevalent in m-f relationships with the male being the perpetrator)
                              Support your FG Community: buy a shirt or iPhone cover

                              As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible - but pissing everyone off, is a piece of cake.

                              Comment


                                Disney to scan fingers of 3 year olds to prevent fraud

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                                  They're only stealing 0's and 1's...
                                  Why E10? I'm driving E46...

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                                    Originally posted by Eye-Q View Post

                                    They're only stealing 0's and 1's...
                                    That homeowner... As shown in the video, it was a zero stolen from her house! Ts....

                                    Also, the reporter's surname is "Oh". Nice 1. Erm, I mean nice 0.

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                                      A somewhat belated one, as the incident occured last Friday: One city over, in Bochum, a patient at one of the largest hospitals around committed suicide. By setting herself on fire. This was the result. Two people dead, about 15 injured, and one building of the hospital (200 beds, several operating rooms, the main kitchen, ...) out of commission for now.

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                                        I've been wondering about the lousy fire protection in that building. Shouldn't a hospital be better constructed, with fire doors etc. that prevent a fire spreading over a whole building in minutes -- which is what apparently happened here?

                                        It seems our own office building has a far better fire protection, with automatic doors and an automatic fire extinguishing system...
                                        “If Liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear" (George Orwell)

                                        Comment


                                          Depends on when the building was constructed. The building I previously used to work in was built in the 80s and in terms of fire protection it had little more than a couple of smoke detectors.

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