Why I Hate Modern Cars: Volume II

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1995 Nissan 240SX
It's four in the morning. I'm tired as heck, but wide awake because the cold I've had for two weeks has my nose completely plugged.

Nasal spray. Where did I leave my nasal spray? In my pants pocket? In my other pants pocket? Maybe this other pair of pants? Crap...I left it in the truck. Ugh, I don't want to go outside at this hour, but I'm not going to get any sleep otherwise.

Hoodie, flashlight, sandals, truck keys.

Out to the garage. Shine the flashlight through the window into the back seat. I can't see my nasal spray, but it's got to be there.

Turn the key to open the truck door...

*meep* *meep* *meep* ...

What's your problem? I used the KEY, you stupid truck.

*HONK* *HONK* *HONK* ...

YOU STUPID PIECE OF IN-BRED, REDNECK, AMERICAN SCRAP METAL!! SHUT UP, I USED THE #!*@ KEY!!!

Parents wake up. I go inside and expain it to them while the truck honks away, dad goes to turn it off with the fob.

Who else hates these automatic alarm syetems? How many times has it actually done what it was supposed to instead of embarrassing you in a busy parking lot? And who even takes these alarms seriously anymore? Everyone just assumes someone has accidentally tripped one of these common-sense-defying systems, and they're usually right.

And who's the genius GM engineer, who's brain was apparently on coffee break, that didn't think as far as, "if key, then not thief"? Because he will be waking up next to a horses head.

Oh, and, yes, my nasal spray was there.

Back to sleep...zzzzzz...
 
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I can see your frustration but why didn't you use the fob? Was that with your [sleeping] dad at the time or something?
 
Ah... your complaint isn't about *modern* cars, because old alarms used to do the same thing, but General Motors cars. :D
 
Was the fob attached to the key you (attempted) to open the truck with??
 
epp_b said:
And who's the genius GM engineer, who's brain was on coffee break, that didn't think as far as, "if key, then not thief"? Because he will be waking up next to a horses head.
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With experience from my mom's old Outback, I can tell you Subaru is guilty of not thinking that part through as well.
 
Lupin_IV said:
With experience from my mom's old Outback, I can tell you Subaru is guilty of not thinking that part through as well.
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Yup, my Subaru does that also. But that system is an after-market install. It also hates my neighbours Maserati GrandSport and crys whenever that beast is trying to park near it due to the reverberations of that lovely exhaust note.
 
Lupin_IV said:
With experience from my mom's old Outback, I can tell you Subaru is guilty of not thinking that part through as well.
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Yeah, but GM doesn't have an excuse since all their keys have computer chips in them now. Used to be that it wouldn't care if a key opened the door or not because you could open one with a screwdriver - but now they have chips and readers in the locks so the GM vehicle can tell that you're opening the car with a proper key.

LAAAAAME, GM.
 
If you unlock a door with a key on my "PIECE OF IN-BRED, REDNECK, AMERICAN SCRAP METAL" it disables the alarm. :D
 
thats weird. My old Golf had an aftermarket alarm installed, and it chose to randomly go off at 4 am. EVERY NIGHT. I can't count the times I stood out in the street, half naked, ramming the key fob.

it never went off if you opened it with the key though :p
 
Never seemed to have that problem in the Buick I used to drive. The remote did die at some point and it took the key just fine and disabled the alarm like it was supposed to.
 
I can see your frustration but why didn't you use the fob? Was that with your [sleeping] dad at the time or something?
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I didn't know where the fob was. It wasn't with the key.
 
:D Continuation from my Volume I, I think we should collect all these and make a short story book. The more technology advances the more aggravating life gets.

EDIT: Was going to +1 you but I've got to spread it around it appears.
 
I'd say that I hate car alarms, but I love setting them off in my Ford :p.
 
Continuation from my Volume I, I think we should collect all these and make a short story book. The more technology advances the more aggravating life gets.
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Hmmm....that ain't half bad ....
 
epp_b said:
"if key, then not thief"
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A lock doesn't know if it's being opened with the owner's key or a hammer and screwdriver.
 
My mom is a master of setting off my Disco's alarm with the key. Every single time she goes to unlock it she sets the alarm off. I've never managed to do that myself. She's a bit old fashioned so she all but refuses to use the fob to disengage the alarm. But she also manages to break it almost every time she drives it. There was a span of a few months where I was the sole driver and it worked beautifully. Then she had to borrow it to get to work...I get a call in the morning: "Um it won't start.". Her status with driving it now: :nazibanned:

Speaking of alarms I hate the ones that beep the horn when they're activated. It's so damn annoying walking through a parking lot and having a car honk right as you walk by it. My Land Rover's alarm is nice and politely British and just flashes the indicators to let you know the alarm is on.
 
GraemeH said:
A lock doesn't know if it's being opened with the owner's key or a hammer and screwdriver.
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GM ones do, thanks to the VATS chip in each key and the reader they can and often do install in the locks.


KaJuN said:
My mom is a master of setting off my Disco's alarm with the key. Every single time she goes to unlock it she sets the alarm off. I've never managed to do that myself. She's a bit old fashioned so she all but refuses to use the fob to disengage the alarm. But she also manages to break it almost every time she drives it. There was a span of a few months where I was the sole driver and it worked beautifully. Then she had to borrow it to get to work...I get a call in the morning: "Um it won't start.". Her status with driving it now: :nazibanned:
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British cars in the US are like that, from what I've seen. Your Disco is telling you that it doesn't want your mom to drive it, ever.

My Series III hated one of my now ex-girlfriends, and often refused to start for her. Turns out it had a better read on her than I did, which is why she's now an ex. :p
 
GraemeH said:
A lock doesn't know if it's being opened with the owner's key or a hammer and screwdriver.
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It seemed to know in my Buick and knows in my current car..... It's all about having a transmitter in the key and a receiver in the car. Most cars that come with an immobilizer (pretty much everything these days) will have a transmitter in the key to tell the car that it is the right key being used to start the car with.
My Series III hated one of my now ex-girlfriends, and often refused to start for her. Turns out it had a better read on her than I did, which is why she's now an ex.
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Using cars to weed out g/f's? Now there is a good idea ;)
 
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